When I posted my entry yesterday, I had no idea what was about to hit the mainstream press. Does the fact that I loathe tories laughing at ‘us’, but relish laughing at tories make me a hypocrite? Mind you, who could help laughing at the news that CaMoron face-fucked a pig? By late afternoon yesterday, it was all over the web; it was quite fascinating to watch the memes emerge and evolve so quickly. Everyone was relishing it, and still are. This scandal will probably not blow over for quite some time – the bast bit of all we get to watch CaMoron writhe in agony, hating every moment of it.

It’s exactly what the piece of shit deserves. Mind you, I just worry that, amid the fun, we will forget the more serious allegation in the book that CaMoron knew about

Lord Ashcroft’s tax status. If that is true, the shit really hits the fan: being caught lying is serious; it could be the end of CaMoron’s premiership. Then, no more CaMoron, no more needless cuts, no more persecution of people with disabilities. The bastard can swan off to the nearest farm and screw all the dead animals he likes.

Now, I feel like a bacon butty.

A couple of days ago online I came across a ‘joke’ supposedly taking the piss out of Jeremy Corbyn. It was just a poorly photoshopped image trying to liken Corbyn to Compo from Last of the Summer Wine, but it really pissed me off. By what right do tory-types make fun of corbyn? He as more honour than the entire tory party put together. I know it sounds silly, but the sneering arrogance the picture implied made me angry; why should the tories have the right to make jokes attacking the opposition when they’re the ones who deserve to be hauled an front of a judge on human rights charges? I know humour is – or should be – free for everyone; it does not belong to the left; but the sneering arrogance of the picture combined with my knowledge of the suffering the tories are causing made me very angry indeed. (see also this entry)

When I watched Monty Python last year, I presumed that, in terms of shows, things couldn’t get better. I had just watched the greatest comedy troupe play live virtually on my doorstep, thirty years after they had last performed together, in a reunion virtually everyone had thought impossible. How could you possibly top that? You can’t! I now rank that night up there with meeting Sir Patrick Stewart and watching Lyn play at the paralympics as one of the great events of my life. The only similar thing which could get close is if, say, Guns N’ Roses got back together and went on a world tour, and that isn’t gonna happen…

Or is it? I just came across this piece in the Mirror: ”Legendary rockers Guns N’ Roses are in talks over hitting the road next year on a money-spinning reunion tour.

Frontman Axl Rose, 53, and lead guitarist Slash, 50, have buried the hatchet after years of feuding and now look set to perform together for the first time since 1996. Promoters reckon a series of worldwide gigs with the classic line-up could make the musicians an estimated £65million.” While no details have yet been released, I’m sure a London gig is very likely – possibly even at the O2; and if they are going to play her, just try to stop me getting tickets. As when I got wind that Python were reuniting, this is certainly a story I’ll be keeping an eye on.

I went to the pub for the first time in weeks. My friend Luke and his mum sally invited me to ta get together at the George V in woolwich. To be honest I was in two minds about going: I’m still abstaining from alcohol, and I knew he temptation to have a beer would be enormous. But it had been ages since I had seen luke and sal, and I was keen to maintain a good friendship, so after a good dinner I set off.

At first silly me went to the wrong pub, but a few frantic message exchanges put that right. Sally was there already, and it felt great to see her. I think she was taken aback when I told her I’d be sticking to coke, but after I explained my reasons she understood. Luke got there with his new PA shortly after and, after saying hi, went straight to the bar to get a round. A pint of bitter was soon placed in front of me – it took all the willpower I could summon not to put my straw in and start to suck. A voice at the back of my head kept saying ”just one, just one”; but I knew that one would lead to two, two to three, and before you knew it I would be repeating the trouble of a month ago. That could not be allowed to happen, so I stuck to my Coke.

In the end it turned into a cool evening. We had a good long chat: Luke’s now at college doing an ITC course, and was very proud of his new student badge. When the time came for me to go, sally gave me a big hug – she’s having a bit of a rough time right now, so, she said, it was good to see me. I said we should meet more often, and she agreed.

I rolled home happy to have seen them, and rather proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not drinking beer. I got in about half eleven; I think Lyn was a tad surprised to see me still completely sober. It just goes to show you don’t have to drink to have a good night out. But I think that is the way to go, and this morning, totally hangover free, I’m now thinking up ways to see Luke and Sally again.

I didn’t bother to name my last chair. It was a low, unnimble Volt with a footplate designed by a buffoon; I was so untaken by it that I couldn’t find a name for it. In fact I was considering calling it something like Sapoc, for Slow-Ass piece of Crap, but got no further. Yesterday, however, I had a new chair delivered, a Rascal P327, and I was instantly taken by it: although marginally slower than my old, much loved f55’s, it is more nimble than the volt, and impressively agile. In fact by the time I had taken my first proper walk on it to Woolwich and back, I had fallen in love with it.

I decided she needed a name. I decided to continue the tradition of giving my chairs star Trek related names – my F55s were called Defiant and Bat’leth – But what?

Scimitar, after the Romulan (or was it reman) ship in Nemesis? Nice, but that film was a bit crap. Then I hit upon it: Rotarran! I love Deep Space Nine, and the IKS Rotarran was general Martok’s flagship during the dominion war – the ideal name for a swift, agile powerchair. Rotarran it is then – may she bring me honour! Qa’pla! [img description=”undefined image” align=”centre”]/images/new chair.jpg[/img]

Donald trump famously recently boasted about being a billionaire, speaking of his wealth as if it was a major character quality. To that I would reply: ”A thief can become a billionaire if he steals enough.” It occurs to me that such an attitude goes to the heart of everything that is wrong with the right-wing, conservative mindset. To measure the value of a person by his wealth alone is utter folly. I have many good friends – Lyn, Charlie, James, Esther – but I love them for their kindness and warmth, not their wealth. Having a fortune is a sign that a person has been greedy and unscrupulous; that one has pushed one’s way to ‘the top’ over the bodies of countless others. Thus it sickens me that Trump, this selfish, arrogant, disgusting little man, is trying to become the world’s most powerful person, as if having so much money gave hime some kind of innate right to it.

Recently, when I go to bed, as part of my going-to-sleep routine, I’ve been trying to think up scenarios which could be as cool or cooler as Happy and Glorious. If 007 can meet the queen, what other combinations could have the same mind blowing effect? Well, last night I came up with one. Before you say it could never happen, I’d point out that people would probably have said the same of the idea that the queen would one day parachute out of a helicopter with James Bond. If that can happen, surely it’s possible for the Pope to appear with the Monty Python troupe in the Spanish Inquisition sketch. [Devious spastic chuckle]. I know it’s far fetched, and I’m still trying to think up what the pontiff could do in the sketch, but the image of the head of the catholic church alongside Palin, Cleese et al in their red robs and big red hats is one I now can’t get out of my head. How awesome, how hilarious would that be? Of course there would be major hurdles to overcome if it is ever to materialise, this song being quite a big one, but it has to be worth a go.

I was messing around on google streetview yesterday, one of my favourite sites, when I found something cool. I was looking around Oxford when, to my surprise, it allowed me into The Head of the River. Street view now allows users to go into pubs how cool is that?! Check it out. This is good for me as I’m currently off the beer ’till christmas, so this sates my desire for horse brasses and oak beams without me getting into trouble. Not only that, I found I can visit bars I’ve never been: I’ve always wanted to go to Sloppy Joe’s Bar, Key West, Florida since hearing of the Hemingway Legend, and yesterday I did (albeit virtually).

You would think that the UK being reported to the UN for human rights violations would be major news, but there was not a word about it on the beeb’s lunchtime bulletin. According to this Guardian report, ”For the past three and a half years, a handful of people at DPAC have been diligently gathering and submitting evidence to the United Nations, asking it to launch an investigation on the grounds that both the previous coalition government and the new Tory administration have been responsible for ‘grave and systematic violations of disabled people’s human rights’.” The UN is taking these allegations seriously, as there is growing evidence that ‘we’ are bearing the brunt of the damage: ”According to analysis by the Centre for Welfare Reform, disabled people have been targeted by cuts nine times more than most other citizens. It also found that people with disabilities, who make up one in 13 of the population, bore almost a third (29 percent) of the cuts. It was against this backdrop – with people buckling under the strain of fitness-for-work WCA tests and escalating benefit sanctions – that activists sought help beyond the UK.” You know a grave empasse has been reached when you country is being investigated by the United Nations; but what shocks me almost as much is that there is not a word about it on the TV news – forget Corbyn at PMQs, this should be the top story.

Lyn’s awesome new EP, Treacherous Sea, is out today. Please go buy it!

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