We posted my vote this morning. its far smpler than arsing about in polling booths – simply make a cross at the kitchen table and put the envelope in the box on your way to the barbrs. I felt no less empowered. The fiasco about postal vote rigging ddoes worry me, but it’s done now and I can forget about it. Plus I have no need to worry about finding a polling station in alsager on thursday. I do however, have some concerns about our current electoral system, which elects candidates who do not have the backing of the majority of people, but I’ll leave that till another entry. can howard concievably win from his current position? mercifully I think not.

Uni is far too much fun; I’m starting to feel guilty. Today was the inter-hall rugby tournament. all the halls of residence on campus fielded a rugby 7, and they played 14-minute matches until one group was crowned the victor with cheap tesco cider. I and most of the university went to watch. It was a nice day for it too.

For some reason I did not feel quite as mobile as usual, so I just sat and talked to the guys. they kept offering me beers, so I had two cans. My lethargy was in part brought on by the trouble over who helps me eat dinner on Tuesday. On Tuesday afternoons I have bill as my PA, and he’s with me until late, so it make sense to eat out with him. However, this means cancelling home help, which seems simple to me – I just tell my breakfast helper that I won’t need help in the evening – but apparently it causes all sorts of hastle with my social worker. So now I cant have any sort of spontaneity? Its not that I don’t appreciate it, but I sometimes hate having to have so much help, to rely on so many people, to have to eat at certain pre-set times. On the other hand, I love the freedom I now have: I love writing in the arboretum, going to the library, going places with bill, the intellectual cut-and thrust of film lectures. I have more freedom than ever, largely due to my mum, dad and social worker.

I am torn between gratitude for my new freedoms and resentment of their limitations. I’d guess this paradox is common to all disabled people.

If you want me to transform me from a pleasant-matt to a grumpy-mat, pat me on the head! It works every time. I was quite happily eating my lunch today, using my neater-eater to devour some atrocity called “corn beef hash”, when a member of the kitchen staff walked by, said “hello matty” and patted me on the head. she then walked off.

Do I look like a dog or a four-year-old? I’m 22, studying for a degree, yet the kitchen staff – most of them – treat me like a kid. Do they pat anyone else? no! so why me? It’s like I’m a child to them, and they ttreat me like a retard.

This makes me undescribably angry. Whats more, it was “matty” rather than “matt” or “matthew”, an infantile form of my name. grr. best olet things like this slide though.

Watcheed Jeremy packman interviewing micchael dracula yesterday. he seemed to be trying to appear nice and reasonable, but there was very little which was reasonable about what he was saying. Its clear that he has no underlying caurse for his attitude to immigration besides xenophobia, and his plans for processing ccamps outside the boarders of the UK seem hay to say the least. Paxman made a pertinent point aboutt the 1951 treaty on the subject – that the only countries that have refused to sign a treaty on immigration, a treaty Howard plans to withdraw from, are placs like north Korea and Saudi Arabia. Moreover, howard clearly wants to pull out of the 1994 Salamanca agreement on incclusion. When he does, I will consider aphartied to exist in britain, and will write to Kofi Annan asking him to impose trade sanctions on britain, as the u.n did with south Africa.

Is it me, or is this text suddenly bigger? No doubt, my techie brother luke has beenn tweeking the code. cheers bro. now it looks like I’ve written more. Baack at school, teachers actually [i]encouraged[/i] kids to do that fore GCSE english coursework. The students were allowed to get away with the minimum possible. well, that’s special schools for you!

not much time to update: I’m having far too much fun with bill. we’re off again in twenty minutes. having a p.a rules!

Not too much to report tonight. It’s been a rather humdum kind of day, attending lectures, talking to friends. We’re being treated to a lovely evening, and later I’m off to brandies to celebrate alec’s birthday. Amazingly, he’s forgooing entering a pool competition and staying at brandies so I can join them. quite astonishing: Now I’m out in the world, I’m constantly amazed how many changes people are prepared to make just to accomodate me.

This could, howevver, be only indigenous to the cloistered environs of academia, that strange great place where the bohemian deals of truith and beauty are sought. I love it here so much – going to discos, the opera, libraries and lectures. this is where I belong. Everyone av=ccepts me here, and I hhave more friends than I can count.

we were up in durham yesterday with mark. it was good to see him again as it had been a while, but while there I cannit update my blog. In all, it has been a fairly busy weekend, and I’m pretty tired. I’ll make a fuller entry soon. Meanwhile, theres a heated debate going on over inclusive education on the ouch messageboards.

Its been a very good day: I gave bill the relevent paperwork, and he’s on the way to becoming my new p.a. I was getting bored of buggering about with adds in papers, so I asked my friend and mature student to be my p.a. cool thin is, he lives in macc so he can help me in the holidays oo.

this week, I have watched tw rather grim films. this evening, i watched city of god a brazilian film about gang warfare in the poor areas of Rio de Jenero. It was rather violent, but told a good story: the type of film where one can really get a feel for the culture it portrays. however, on monday we saw Requiem for a dream which I did not enjoy watching at all. Although it is stylistically brilliant, and a masterclass in cuting which would make Eisestien proud, the story concerns four people torn apart by vrious addictions, the portrayal of which is so vivid that it is horrifying to watch. we see heroin being injected into a badly infected wound; we see a middle-aged lady becoming obsesses with the possibility of being on tv, subsequently becomming addicted to slimming pills, and eventually becoming so unstable that she is subjected, very graphically to ECT. We also see a young lady sustaining her drug habbit by resorting to prostetution and forced to do the most vulgar acts imaginable. No wonder this film has been banned: I am usuwally against censorship, but on Monday I left the lecture theatre feeling sick, and hoping never to see that film again. It should be watched by no-one.

oh, what a surprise! 20th century fox is about to release kingdom of heaven, an epic. I have seen trailers, and most of the shots are almost exact duplicates of lotr shots. the cenematographic ambience is identical! bbut more worryingly, this film is about the crusades, and somehow portrays those blood-lusted chaptera as a good thing. no prises for spotting the paralells here!

this is hardly a blog-worthy event, but today, when I woke up, I decided I needed a shower, so I gave myself one. on my own. fiirst time ever – go me, and huzzah for independence!

And yes, mum, I did use soap!

It’s turning out to be a reasonably sunny day, but everything did not go according to plan this morning. I got up on time, got dressed (minus shoes and socks, which I always struggle with) made my toilet and turned on my PC while I waited for my home care assistant to arrive at 9. 9 am came and went I didn’t worry at first because they are often a bit late. However, when it got to 20 past I started to worry. It was at that point when the university caretaker arrived: there was something wrong with the water supply to the flat and he had come to repair it. I let him in while I used my computer. At about 9.30 I used Word to tell the caretaker that I was worried about my home care, my Lightwriter was still on charge, as I can’t put it on myself.

After the caretaker had left I was getting really worried. I tried to email Dad and my social worker to see if they could do anything but for some reason the email system was down. At this point I decided to put my own shoes and socks on – for me this is a very slow process, but I can do it eventually. I then decided to go to the canteen to see if I could get anyone to help but as I didn’t want to risk dropping it I couldn’t bring my Lightwriter. Sufficed to say I couldn’t get anyone to understand me in the canteen, so I went back to my room to room to wait for Esther. At this point I was getting very worried and hungry. I turned my computer back on and it had just finished warming up when the home care worker arrived. The caretaker had gone to reception and had made some enquiries. It was now about 10.15 so I went for a quick breakfast of two bananas in order to get back before Esther arrived. Fortunately due to the chaotic public transport Esther was also late today. Either way I was only 5 minutes late for lessons. All’s well that ends well.

After what was, in my view, the spectacular success of The Lord of the rings, I was of the opinion that Hollywood can film anything that it put it’s mind to. Sure, LOTR had it’s flaws, but it was the best film that it could be, given Tolkien’s source material. So, to begin with, I greeted the adaptation of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy with open arms. The casting of Alan Rickman as Marvin is even better than casting Sean Bean as Boromir, which I thought was genius. But the only thing that makes me cautious is the fact that it’s being made by Disney, or an offshoot, a company famous for twee kiddies films. This is probably irrational, but I do hope Disney do not ruin these brilliant books.

This group of friends seems as intellectually zany as my family. As long as they don’t start quoting Rainman it’s ok.

[img description=”howard” align=”centre”]/images/hitler1.JPG[/img] [img description=”howard” align=”centre”]/images/howard1.JPG[/img]

Sorry, couldn’t resist!

[img description=”Odd mane though” align=”centre”]/images/camilla.jpg[/img]

Currently, I’m rather pleased with myself: recently I sent out messages to a few old friends about my current lacck of PA, and this morning I got a very prromissing response. It kind of prooves my methods do work and that I can sort myself out, sometimes.

This morning, me and my parents had an argument, about who got me where I am today. I think I did a lot of the work, but I wouldn’t have got anywhere without the guys. When I only got a D at GCSE maths, it was they who insistid I could do better. They got me a tutor, and after hating maths for many years, I realised the beauty of the subject, and got a C the next year. It was my parents who read to me and my brothers every night, as children, impressing upon us a deep love of literature. I also remember sitting at the kitchen table, watching dad demonstrate chemistry and physics, which may have began Mark’s love of the subject. My parents got me a computer so I could tap out my thoughts from an early age: my brothers benefited from this too, and Luke is now doing bioinfomatics at university. It was he who made this site.

I do not give my parents enogh credit. They brought up two geniuses and a lazy ninny, but even the lazzy ninny is going to university (apparently it’s quite rare for a person who went to a special school to attend university). I don’t give mum and dad enough credit, and too much grief.

[img description=”Rageh Omaar” align=”centre”]/images/rageh_omaar_islamic_history_of_europe.jpg[/img]

Before I turn in, I better draw your attention to Rageh Omaar’s documentary, An Islamic History of Europe, which aired tonight on BBC4. In the middle/dark ages, Moors, Jews and Christians lived side by side in Spain. The Islamic Moors contributed vastly to European culture. How sad that we so often forget this.

‘Jake R’ left a few interesting comments on my post about the election yesterday, and these naturally need to be addressed. Firstly, he points out that Mr Howard claims that immigration costs this country £2 billion. Be that as it may, the (fiscal) cost of the war in Iraq was $82bn, with the UK paying a large sum of that. See this, for example. Why is it that Mr. Howard was not opposed to spending such large amounts on blowing up innocent people, when he begrudges it to refugees? Moreover, although the exact figure varies from source to source, Howard’s figure is a pittance compared to the total sum of money the UK is making.

So why is Mr. Howard so concerned about this issue? The UK is wealthy and prosperous, and to turn away these refugees would be in breach of the 1951 Geneva Convention, the text of which can be found here. Thus, I feel that underlying all of Mr. Howard’s arguments is basic and bog-standard xenophobia.

Similar things can be said of his attitude towards schools. He preaches discipline and an end to what he terms “yob culture”. This is all very well and good, but Mr. Howard does not address the underlying causes of this culture. More worryingly from my perspective, he has pledged to overturn Labour’s inclusive education policy. Inclusive education is the first step towards a society more tolerant of disabled people; although Mr. Howard claims that many “good” special schools will be closed, most research suggests that there is no such thing. To quote Navin Kikabhai’s “No Such thing as a Good ‘Special’ School – The Expropriation of Education” (2002):

[quote=”Navin Kikabhaiurl:http://www.inclusion-boltondata.org.uk/FrontPage/data39.htm”%5D

Thomas (1997) found that 70 per cent of special schools do not enter any pupils for GCSE, Thomas further went on to use the 1995/6 school performance league tables to show that 93 per cent of mainstream Year 11 students obtained at least one A* – G grade, whereas only 16 per cent of Year 11 students in special schools obtained at least one A* – G grade. This overtly revealing statistic draws concern given that the largest group of pupils in special schools are labelled as having ‘Moderate Learning Difficulties,’ nearly 55,000, and yet in mainstream schools students would have all entered for GCSE (Thomas, 1997).

[/quote]

Thus in wanting to reverse the trend towards inclusion, the Tories are doing a very dangerous, stupid thing. However, when this subject has been broached on this site before, it has caused animosity between me and certain people whose opinions I otherwise respect in the utmost, so I better not go too far into this.

Either way, the above is an outline of why I will not vote conservative. There are, naturally, other reasons, but you get the picture. However, labour is not much better: they led us to war on a lie, and introduced tuition fees. The war I have discussed before, so it is tuition fees which I will turn to. How can everyone have access to education, when you have to pay for it? After all, innate intelligence pays no heed to how rich one’s family is; therefore access to education – all education – should be free. No matter how much Blair tries to sugar coat this issue, it’s still wrong. On the other hand, from a personal perspective, through various Labour initiatives I have access to the help I need to go to university: I can pay the wonderful Esther to help me, and it was labour who brought about Home Help, without whom I’d be stuck. Labour also introduced Direct Payments, which helps out millions of disabled people, giving them the independence they deserve.

Without any reasonable opposition from the liberal democrats, labour must get re-elected. I keep worrying, probably irrationally, that the Tories would cut the DP system and home help. Then where would I be? Stuck at home with…Grandma.

*Shudder*

So, Blair has called an election on may the 5th. It is interesting in that I am not at all sure how I’ll vote. Of course, it won’t be conservative: I find them loathsome, given their backward stance on inclusive education. Their insistence that being opposed to immigration is not racist is frankly laughable: no matter what Howard might like to think, it is racist, and that particular party slogan is an attempt to soothe the consciences of racists who like to think they’re forward thinking. The fact remains that, as a western democracy, Britain has a duty to cater for immigrants, and we have more than enough infrastructure to do so. Further, the Tories’ stance on discipline in schools and crime is archaic to say the least: one gets the distinct impression that Michael Howard would bring back hanging and caning,, given the chance.

On the other hand, Blair isn’t much better. He lead us into a deeply unpopular and foolish war, an action which saw one million people march in protest against him. As it stands, the situation in Iraq is still chaotic, and it does not show many signs of improving. Moreover, Labour’s stance toward top-up fees also worries me – health and education should be free for all.

But what is the alternative to these two cretins? Charles Kennedy seems to induce narcolepsy. I like some lib-dem policies, but nor all. Besides, do the really have a chance of forming a government? Probably not.

As for UKIP, no zarking way!

So, looks like it’ll have to be labour. They lead us into a foolish war, but they’re better than the Tories. How sad – is this the state of British politics? We’re voting for the least worst candidate, rather than best. What a terrible state of affairs.

by far the funniest occcurence of today – and one that has to be recorded – was my broother pronouncing Papys as ‘peppies’. When I heard that, I simply sannk to my knees and howled. Wooohoo.

Mind you, it tells you what a trruly dull day it has been. Did a bit of work, watched some Time Team. That’s about it. Cant wait to get back to college next week.

It’s a fine day, and I have been out in my chair. Through Bilbo Baggins, Tolkien once said that roads are dangerous because you never know where they will take you. He was right: I can tour town and the countryside around Congleton for endless hours, seeing what there is to see, shopping, talking to people I meet. It’s great and far better than being cooped up inside. There is something about travel that refreshes the soul.

However, upon my return, I found this page open on my desktop. No doubt, Luke found it to encourage me to blog, but I’m grateful that he did. I find it both novel and fascinating: as a historic document, Pepys is invaluable, and the fact that someone has chosen to place it online as if it were a modern blog shows a great scholarly wit.

Recently, I’ve been communicating with tamsin Coruthers of 1Voice. This charity aims to teach young disabled kids to use communication aids through rolemodelling. This is a great idea – you have no idea how solitary lives of young disabled kids can be, when robbed of the ability to communicate. Therefore I must help, however I can. Of course, I can be quite a prat sometimes, so role-model may not be the right term, but I must help however I can.

I was lucky: with what speech I have I am able to brag, bully and wheedle sufficiently, and have a very supportive, if sometimes imbecilic, family. I am, however, aware that others will need support and help, and I could potentially be of service. The right to communicate is inalienable, for to deny it is to deny people free speech, upon which democracy is founded. Given that I have some expertise in this field – that is to say, I can use my Lightwriter with some proficiency – I have no choice but to offer my services. Not to do so would be negligence, and too many disabled people have been denied the right to speech before now.

I will help however I can. There are events to go to. The review of the fun day, appearing in their newsletter which I have in front of me, looked rather cool, although I doubt I could cajole the Lukester into taking me to such an event. I need a new PA! Either way, I’ll look seriously into joining, should be cool.