If you want me to transform me from a pleasant-matt to a grumpy-mat, pat me on the head! It works every time. I was quite happily eating my lunch today, using my neater-eater to devour some atrocity called “corn beef hash”, when a member of the kitchen staff walked by, said “hello matty” and patted me on the head. she then walked off.

Do I look like a dog or a four-year-old? I’m 22, studying for a degree, yet the kitchen staff – most of them – treat me like a kid. Do they pat anyone else? no! so why me? It’s like I’m a child to them, and they ttreat me like a retard.

This makes me undescribably angry. Whats more, it was “matty” rather than “matt” or “matthew”, an infantile form of my name. grr. best olet things like this slide though.