We all get days like this. Days when one wants the earth to simply stop spinning. Recently, I’ve been having problems with carers – I get homecare, but with the everenergetic bill as my PA taking me out all over the county, I often have to cancel homecare at short notice. Naturally this pisses social services off without whose help I could not study at MMU. So, either I stick to a strict timetable and stay at uni or I go with Bill, pissin social off. I am stuck between my disability and the urge to have fun like the other students. I really do not want to anger Julia, who has moved the world for me, but at the same time I want to have fun. I really do not want to let my disability get in the way, but I might need home car in the future and so cannot afford to anger them.

The fact that I do not know the solution really gets me down, yet I must bear in mind two things – firstly, I am among the first wave of disabled people to get to university, and so this very much is a trial and error process which still has bugs; secondly, it occurred to me that although I get depressed I have no enemies. Julia, mum, dad, Bill are all on my side, and so I must praise them rather than get angry.

So, perhaps the world can keep spinning. With luck, these things will be ironed out soon enough. All the same, I feel my usual in-trouble urge to remind mum and ad that I love them.