this.mov file was brought to my attention last night. apart from being funny as hell, it’s quite the most brilliant piece of editing i’ve seen. go look.

On Tuesday in my first writing workshop we were introduced to postmodernism. The central concept is, as far as I can gather, that there are no absolutes, since the postmodernists reject the ‘grand narratives’ i.e., religion, science. These are social constructs, transmitted via language which can never be objective since it inherently is imbued with the speakers biases. Thus, what we perceive as real is entirely subjective.

This kind of makes sense to me, but I have problems with it. It seems incompatible with science at first glance, until one remembers that science offers us no absolute truths, only theories which must be tested and may one day be superseded. Even time is relative. Yet science is the search for the truth – or as near as we can get to it. Is it, or is it not,, attainable. Uncertainty says god plays dice, but particle physics is based on maths, which is constant. One plus one must always make two, so postmodernism and science contradict. Do they, or don’t they?

What is fast becoming certain is that I’ll have fun exploring this issue.

According to grey, last night may have been the last disco for a while. The student’s uunion has fallen out with the chaps who put the event on – the latter are too greedy. They make a killing on the bar and the door: must be about 750 ppl attend, each charged 2 quid. None of that money, however, goes backinto the venu, so greys organising something else.

With this in mind, I took my opportunity to dress up. Out camethe bunnygirl outfit. It was, however, blowing a gale out there, and the last time I went outside in winter in a leotard and tights I cought cold. I had learned my lesson, and put my jumper and joggers back on over my outfit so I could disrobe at the bar, hopefully with help from a pretty girl. Me clever!

This plan worked well. I took my manual chair – I never take my electric to the bar: recipe for broken f55 and a seriously peeved dad. I went to join the football social, having the security guy take my clothes off as the party got started, before the main lights went off. I behave myself more when I’m iin those clothes, and try to keep them clean, so I stay sober, which I did.

What else can I say? I didn’t get cold, and one of the footballers redressed me and took m home. Quite a cool night.

I just noticed i can no longer play rock paper scissors on weebles stuff.com. college wont let me download macromedia flash, which is rather tiresome, but not the end of the world.

talking of cartoons, cripcomic was launched yesterday. thusfar, tthere is only one strip, but its interesting stuff. Inasmuch as it subverts the status quo bu having a disabledd person as its main dramatis personae, it can be seen as postmodern. It uses the languag of our subclture (if such a thing exists), and thus can be seen as a statement of pride in dusability. hehehe…academic language rules!

Maybe itts the writer in me, oor the philologist, but it’s surprising how just reading a simple turn of phrase can cheer me up. This morning, I was doing my rounds on the blogs of my friends – luke b’s, Kate’s etc. I came across one which uses some words which have now sadly fallen out of use.

Spiffing’…’good egg’ what wholesome expressions. My friend Will at macc college used to use them. They seem homely, old school.. English, like cricket, or punting. I find the fact that they’re still in use somewhere kind of comforting, especially in today’s world of coarse language and vulgarity. I often hang out with Sports students, where every second word is a vulgarity, and we all know how much swearing there is in film. Of course, I have nothing against swearing, but it seems the old phrases like Good Egg are dying out. The fact that they’re still being used by some people, without sarcasm, is kind of satisfying to me.

I cant explain why.

Today, my uncle, aunt cousin and his Girlfriend, Saran, were here for lunch. Although they visit way too rarely, I’m fond of them. We were talking about religion, and my concern with creationism, and Uncle Aki told us about the time when some mormons visited my bappou. They were showing bappou any yeaya a slideshow, when suddenly bappou said, quietly and slowly, ‘I think this is a heresy.’

You might not understand why this amuses me unless you knew buppou: this quiet, gentle man, who was deeply religious, suddenly saying such a thing. I can’t explain.

If theres one thing about my anthems which troubles me, its that it would have hurt my grandfather.

heres more on yesterdays entry

I am worried about the state of American culture, and especially the rise of religion there. I have no problem with people believing as they wish, be it in some bearded God or in a flying spaghetti monster (with his noodly appendage). No, what worries me is when they try to foist their beliefs on others.

Marxists say that religion is a repressive state structure, designed to control a population. For a long period of time, church and state were linked, so the church was an integral part of enforcing the law of the land. Government took it’s authority from the church, which, in turn, took it’s authority from god. To an extent, the two were symbiotic.

Now the symbiosis is gone. With the rise of science came secularism, and governments draw their mandates from the ballot box. Hence, now the church is a competing, unelected power base, and in America at least it is thirsty for power. It seems to be trying to draw people back to the pew, and I think this is so it can once again control the people. The priests and the pastors have no mandate from the ballot box, but instead have chosen to seize power through going into the church. They want to control people, just as coca-cola wants to control you enough to buy coke. Religion is like any other business in capitalist America – it is designed to make money.

Only it is much more dangerous than the Disney or Microsoft corporations, as they just want your mmoney. The churches want your minds too.

For religion faces a problem in the form of science. Two centuries ago, the bible held unopposed authority – it offered an excellent explanation of how life came into being, where we were going and how we should act. This authority, I would argue, stemmed largely from the genesis story, but after Darwin that was called into doubt. More and more evidence is being found in support of evolution, from the remains of homo Neanderthalis to red shift, and this poses a major problems for religion as it shatters the bible’s authority and thus the church’s.

Marx famously called religion the opium of the people, and like any good drug dealer religion must find a way off keeping it’s clientele hooked. Thus, religious people in America brought about ‘Creationism’, a science set up to prove the story of genesis. This, needles to say, is logically flawed, as it’s stated objective is to come to a pre-set answer, and to discredit or ignore any data not pointing to that answer. True science is open-ended – a theory may be posited, tested, proven or superseded. Indeed, this weeks new scientist speculates that Einstein’s general relativity may have to be rewritten slightly to incorporate new findings like Dark Energy. True scientific theories are not, and must never be, set in stone. Thus to create a science with the sole intention of proving the claims of the bible is to distort the underlying logic of science.

Further, to present creationism as scientific is worryingly misleading. Such people are deliberately blinding others to proper, scientific thought in order to make money. Thousands, if not millions of dollars are made through Televangelism, I suspect. They need people to accept the biblical stories as fact, and do this by attacking established scientific theory. At a time when the world needs all the scientists it can get if it is to solve such problems as global climate change and energy shortage, these people are making such claims as

”[quote=”www.creationscience.comurl:http://www.creationscience.com/LifeSciences4.html”%5DSpontaneous generation (the emergence of life from nonliving matter) has never been observed. All observations have shown that life comes only from life. This has been observed so consistently it is called the law of biogenesis. The theory of evolution conflicts with this scientific law when claiming that life came from nonliving matter through natural processes.”[/quote].” http://www.creationscience.com/LifeSciences4.html

While some may say that it is wiser to let these people believe as they wish, I would maintain that, for them to try to force their way of thinking onto others, especially schoolchildren, is harmful. While all perspectives should be engaged with, I feel that to allow these people to continue to expound their ideas so vehemently is dangerous. All theories should be tested empirically, and the biblical model has been superseded, so it should be done away with, like theories linking ethnicity and intelligence. It is harmful to scientific thought, and the public in general in that it now serves only to line the priest’s pockets with money and power. No doubt, however, that they will continue to do as they are doing, trying desperately to blind congregations to an ever-increasing mountain of evidence, while simultaneously presenting themselves as the only valid authorities on the truth, just as McDonalds portray themselves as the only place to get good burgers.

If it wasn’t so sad and dangerous, it would be funny.

Two things got my goat today. I was at the freshers fair, helping out, going around the stalls talking. Most stalls were quite cool – inviting people to give blood, or join the poets society – but two stalls got my goat. Firstly, the army stall. They were their in their camouflage suits and berets, saying things like ‘are you brave enough to join’ and so on. They had a video f people in Iraq hugging soldiers, which was amusing because it was the army who helped bring about what is fast becoming a civil war there. I almost bought a poster in the sale in the wes with this famous Einstein quote.

‘He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.’

Another stall which got my goat was one offering bible classes. I was brought up on rational argument, and I find nothing rational about people trying to convert others into their power structure, simply by using quotes from an ancient book. I tried talking to these people, but its like trying to win a fight with Bigfoot. Its pointless. How can they ignore all the evidence, claim it all points to a sudden creation event, then say they’re the rational ones? As a student of culture, I think I should look into this phenomenon.

Talking of which, I got my results from last year today. A 61 average, or a two-one. Not bad for a stupid spaz.

You have no idea how relieved I was to hear the intercom sound this morning. It meant everything was back to normal. I had worried that my home care – the ladies who put my shoes and socks on, and get me breakfast – weren’t coming due to the natural confusion caused by summer. But no, Julie came at 9 a.m. prompt, smiling. We have known each other for a year, but we met like old friends after along absence. It meant all was well, and the day would be good. If she hadn’t shown, Esther would have had to give me breakfast, wasting valuable time sorting things out for the new year.

Here’s where it went wrong. I had been promised that the intersite bus would be fully accessible, but I decided to verify this by rolling over to the bus stop, Esther in tow. We waited for 5 minutes, and the bus came. I then realised I had more chance of riding a woolly mammoth to Crewe – the bus was an ancient double decker with steps up to it and a bar in the middle of the entrance. I wasn’t happy.

Nor, for that matter, was Andy Grey. I went directly to the head of the Students Union, who seemed to take personal umbridge at what I told him. Although I explained that Bill could drive me over, he said, ”That’s not the point.” It seemed to grieve him personally, as if he’d just discovered some terrible scandal.

That, however, is my point. People – most people – do not realise the type of problems disabled people face, bringing about a type of discrimination through negligence. The promises of accessible transport hadn’t been acted upon, and it was only when I brought this matter to Andy’s attention that he went and sorted it.

I just got back into my little room at university. It’s good to be back. The place reeks, and I haventgot my posters up so it doesn’t feel quite like home yet, but its getting there. the day promisses to be a good one – noo academic work, just sorting stuff out, confirming my timetable etc. I pplanto catch up with dave to see if theres any preliminarry reading i can do, but thats about it. well, heres to a good second year.

I doubt I’ll cry tonight!

The following was sent to me in a circular email, and originally it was about getting old as a wwoman, but could just as well aapply to me:

‘

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. ‘ hehehe. now I think of it, this could suggest the incentive I need to do my physio…

this spoils my fun. how can we take the piss out of the aussies when they write such well balanced articles? aww! I expected them all to be brooding and sullen. no fair

this article concerns a new sculpture to go on a free plinth in Trafalgar square. Naturally, I hold this to be a good thing. theres some debate over whether it should be there, but I think it’s quite  beautiful, embracing both the themes of motherhood and diversity.

true beauty has very little to do with aesthetics.

I used to feel guilty about watching TV in the holidays. I always felt I should be doing something, like reading or writing. These palpitations of guilt were enough to send me scurrying to my books. Now, however, things are slightly different.

For one, I’m writing more than ever. This s both on my blog and elsewhere. I know my last few entries haven’t been too long, but its hard to find stuff to write about. This is especially applicable when I’m stuck at home, with only grandma for company. My grandma’s ok, but she isn’t the sort of person one can have an in-depth debate with, let’s say.

Also, I have a legitimate excuse to watch TV. I study it! Mind you, I do not watch trash television – daytime TV really is dire, as I have said before. I mean, ‘Trisha’ for godsakes! Who watches that? However, today, I was in luck. BBC2 showed ‘The Big Sky’ this morning. This is a 1953 classic western by Howard Hawkes.

Monochrome, of course. This puts it right at the end of the golden age of Hollywood, and right from the beginning, I knew I was in for a treat. There are some incredible vistas of the lands on and around the Missouri in the film, and hawkes employs some interesting camera techniques. At one point, he plays with the audience’s expectations – I was expecting a simple shot / reverse shot movement, but instead hawkes chooses to film from a completely new angle. This threw me slightly, and at first I found it confusing, as if it broke the 180 degree rule, but it is clear that Hawkes was experimenting with film grammar. Very few auters show such panache with the camera, perhaps preferring simply to ‘wow’ audiences with special effects. it should be noted, however, that the film was rather derogatory towards native Americans. While this was less so than films before it, it showed how far we still had to go in the fifties.

Thus, my free time at home hasn’t been totally wasted. I wonder if there’s anything on this afternoon.

In eighteen months I hope to watch sunrise over Ularu. I just watched England reclaim the ashes after 18 years. I was glued to the box all day, and there were moments when I thought this blog entry would be full of bile towards the aussies. They were going to win, and I hated them for it. Yet this would have been totally unwarranted. Win or loose, Australia remain one of the finest cricket sides ever. Moreover, by all accounts, this series has been played to the highest standards of conduct. It seems ‘beasting’ was a myth – the games seemed like it was played between good friends. shayne warne, I should add, is a demon!

I thus offer the deepest commiserations to my Australian friends. See you for the next Ashes series.

this is good news from the icb,, but the fact remains sky has rights to cover the ashes for the next four years. this makes me so angry. murdoch is a greedy git with no love of cricket. he is going to make us pay to watch the game I love, ruining cricket for the masses. this makes me soooo angry!

It’s been a tough few days. I only got back to blighty on Thursday, and I spent the last two days in London with family. I’m not sure why I’m so tired, as all I did was sit in the car. Perhaps it was the tension of the cricket.

Has anyone else been watching it? It’s like a five day penalty shoot-out. I cant watch. Fortunately, its raining, and is likely to be until tomorrow. At least we have a reprieve this evening from the tension. However, dad tells me that sky has the rights to thee ashes next year. Lets hope they’re taken from Murdoch’s grubby, stinking hands soon!

We got back to blighty this morning. apart from a fire alarm kerfuffle at manchester, the journey was ok. I hate flying from west to east – I always get terrible jet lag, so this post will be brief.

In a post coming shortly, I intend to deal with access issues in canada: although I found access and disability awareness generally dire, I found some evidence fthat canada was actually quite progressive in such matters, including a tv programme run by and for crips.

thhis will, however, necessitate research. I’m tired, so it’ll hace to wait. unpacking can’t.

Perhaps the best way one can see a city is to walk about it. Well, in my case that means sitting in my chair and rolling about it. But, one hasn’t seen the real city one goes to the residential areas; the back streets. Where the real people live and work. Not where capitalists interested in taking the tourists’ money, but where people buy there groceries or go to talk to friends. This morning, my brother and I took a walk into the backstreets of Montreal. It was quite a long walk – a good 8 kilometres I suppose (more like 15. Sitting in his chair, I don’t think Matt gets a proper idea of how far he travels – Ed). We wove our way down through the old town and out into the suburbs. It reminded me of Paris. It was rather quiet and there were very few people about, which isn’t disappointing – most people would have been at work. However, it’s worth mentioning that I saw a few more cripples this morning – not that I was on some kind of cripple hunt. We headed into the Latin Quarter how come every city has a Latin Quarter; the Romans got everywhere. Romano eunt domus, eh? We also stopped to watch a bit of filming on a what appears to be a film about photo booths. We watched the crew play about with a camera boom, rising up from a photo booth – which appeared to have been placed randomly in the middle of a square – to a shot of an old building for about 10 minutes, then gave up. We have no idea what was going on. We then headed for a large park in the middle of the “real” city, looking at sunbathers. From there we headed towards the river, past the Molson brewery. Perhaps brewery should be in inverted commas there because I haven’t been able to find a proper beer anywhere, that is to say, a beer with actual taste. Give me an Old Speckled Hen over a Budweiser any day! We then met up with the parents to eat lunch at a deli. It is worth noting that I wasn’t offered a menu – I hate it when people assume I’m illiterate. Anyway, at time of writing, the family is waiting to go out for tea – I better not keep them. I’m really looking forward to this final night in Canada. Oh yeah! Please forgive my editor he’s rather hairy and stupid looking (you’re fired, Matt! – Ed).

(Editor – Matt’s bro Luke, taking dictation)

Over the last few days I’ve been struck by a curiosity: there are no crips in Montréal. Well, very few anyway. During the course of a UK day, I usually see four or five fellow disabled people; but everyday here I am lucky to see one. At first, I thought this was a coincidence, but now I am becoming convinced there’s a good reason for it. In short, this city is a bugger to get out into if you’re disabled. It is absolutely abysmal. The pavements are split and cracked, making for a rough ride in the chair. There are steps [b]everywhere[/b] – up to most restaurants, shops, public conveniences, to the elevators into the underground city (of which there are exceedingly few) and so on. This is not to say everywhere is inaccessible – places like the Biodome and the Botanical Gardens are well adapted for wheelchair users, but the city [i]propre[/i] is dire. Moreover, upon arrival, I thought I saw more staring kids than in most other places; I put this down to pure paranoia initially but am now sure of it. It’s not just kids, too. It’s adults. Staring enough to make me want to poke their eyes out. They really should know better. Thus, I should warn my fellow cripples not to come here without two fairly fit (and strong) P.A.s – they will be needed if you want to go anywhere. I needed assistance to cope with the many flights of stairs and escalators: one person carrying me, one my wheelchair (plus a third to carry Matt’s bags – Ed). If one is entirely non-ambulant, it would simply be impossible. The city is rather stressful from that perspective. People walk straight in front of you as you roll along the pavement (though this is true of almost any major city – Ed). They do the pedestrian equivalent of cutting you up. I regret to say, this is one city I won’t soon come back to.

Nevertheless, it must be said the city is beautiful. We took a boat ride on the St Lawrence this morning. It was fascinating to discover a bit of the river’s history as it is a main artery into the Americas along with the Mississippi and the Amazon. It was a main supply route into Canada and the US. I would like to discover more of it, but this will have to wait: I have more of this region explore. I only hope the remainder is more accessible.

I really like the Biodome and the Botanical Gardens. It is often remarked that we British are a nation of gardeners and garden lovers. In this respect, I am very British as I find gardens peaceful. It probably wasn’t as big or as grand as Kew, but it was a very pleasant place to spend a few hours away from the hustle and bustle of the city. The cabby who took us there was a pretty cool guy, too. However, so far my favourite place has been the Olympic Tower (la Tour Montréal – the tallest leaning tower in the world – Ed). It has a very impressive view of the city and beyond (both from the top and in the funicular on the way up – Ed). It looks very futuristic, as if it was part of a star ship – even about thirty years after it was built. There are great places (and people – Ed) in any city – that is why I like to travel. But the fact remains that this place isn’t up to standard for disabled people and that is a great shame.

(Editors – Matt’s bro (taking dicatation) and mum (correcting grammar))

So… here we are in Canada. We left Grandma at home again and flew in yesterday. It’s strange how air travel can confuse the senses – one morning one can get up in England and the same day go to bed in Canada a quarter of the way around the Earth. It really is quite cool. There is something about travel that feeds me, even things like exploring hotel rooms and becoming acquainted with the TV remote I find exciting – not because I can watch TV but because of what they represent: a new place. A new perspective.

We spent today walking around the city – it’s quite picturesque but I found it derivative of any other city in North America, if a city can be derivative (when questioned about this, Matthew says it’s because it has tall buildings. I certainly don’t agree – Ed). However, there are also things that make it unique – there’s a vast underground city, which is like a subterranean shopping mall. This has access points all over the city centre giving the city a thoroughly three-dimensional feel (I can’t believe he just said this – Ed). It must be said that there are, however, very few lifts. And what lifts there are a usually full of ambulant Americans too lazy to use the escalators. I found myself getting rather shirty and un-British at one point. One of the good things about having a speech impediment is that no-one can understand when I curse at them. Of course this isn’t applicable when I use the lightwriter. I know I shouldn’t do this – it probably sets back the cause for disabled rights – but it’s hard to resist. Anyway, overall I’m having a great time and looking forward to the days ahead.

I should also mention my brother Mark, who is only just starting to realise that others are just as aware of his intelligence as we are thanks to an email he received. Good one, bro!

I would also like to point out a correction to the last post – naked women do not appear on ceilings. Although I sometimes wish they did – that would be fun! (Editor: Matt’s bro Luke, taking dictation)