I do not think I’m being traitorous in writing this, and nor do I think I’m erring from the social model as I understand it. While I am totally comfortable with being disabled, and at times it’s very cool indeed, there are naturally times when I whish I could change things. I’d love to be able to drive, for instance, as it would make going to see friends easier. Mind you, there are ways around this, so I’m not complaining. I like being me, and I’m proud of it.

To every problem there is, conveniently, a solution. I cant walk far, so I have a wheelchair; I can’t talk clearly so I have a lightwriter (called Colin). I therefore exist in the world upon the same level as anyone else, neither inferior nor superior. I’m perfectly happy with this state of affairs,

However, I’ve been thinking recently about this pride jazz, and now think that disability pride is not as simple as it would first appear. I’m proud of who I am – of my achievements, my degree, my work with one voice etc. I’m proud of my family – mark’s doctorate, Luke’s degree etc. I’m proud of my friends – Charlie’s work as a teacher and her performance on Wednesday; Emma’s work as a councillor for school kids; Kate’s work in drama; steves adventures in America. But, if I’m no different to anyone else, why should I draw pride from the fact that I am disabled? I did not choose or earn it. It’s part of who I am, and its mostly fun, but why should I e any more proud than a non-disabled person given that the playing field is being levelled off by the adaptations I need. Should non-disabled people not be equally proud of who they are?

This brings me on to ‘the cultural model, about which I wrote a while ago. I am no longer happy with that concept: I still ” like being Matt, the guy who zooms round campus in a chair; matt who uses that odd contraption in the wes” and so forth, but given that any human being is different from any other, why should I be any more proud than anyone else? Yes, my chair is cool, but so is the ability to run. This would render the need for a cultural model moot. The only need for it is to enable one to internalise difference, which is ultimately divisive and self-destructive. In other words, I have better things to focus on than the fact that I am disabled. For the disability rights movement to adopt a cultural model would mean putting up barriers to the rest of society, and truly taking up an ‘us and them’ position. In short, it would be the very antithesis of inclusion. The concept that one should be proud of disability just because one is disabled feeds the concept that one is different in terms of value. I may do things slightly differently to most people, bur why should this in and of itself give rise to pride? All human beings can and should be proud of their selves. If we are all equal, our pride in the disabled community should be extended to pride in all of humanity.

We now return to yesterday’s subject of second life. It is a game where anyone can be anyone, so why should people chose to appear disabled? After all, it’s programming cannot replicate the effects of disability, and indeed all people on second life are given superhuman abilities, such as flying. You could argue that it is pride in being disabled, but surely then this would show a severe lack of imagination: why not chose to be someone else? Why not experiment? In a truly level playing field, why chose to be different? Why segregate yourself, especially when we are striving for inclusion? It does nothing but maintain division and prejudice, rather than breaking them down. In second life, I’d be a seventeen year old gymnast, not a 25 year old guy with cp. This does not mean I want to change in real life, just that I’d let my imagination roam. Plus, this way there’s a better chance of barriers breaking down if and when my fellow players discover who I really am, instead of maintaining that barrier within the game (cheers Luke).

Similarly, I have heard that several people in the disabled community have chosen to accent their disability, to make it more visible. Now, there’s a difference between not trying to hide a disability, and deliberately drawing attention to it and highlighting it. I am not ashamed of the fact I have cerebral palsy, so I make no attempt at hiding it. It’s just part of who I am. But I think to deliberately draw attention to it, again under the excuse of ‘disability pride is counterproductive. It is one thing to make no attempt to hide your disability, quite another to draw attention to it. The former is celebrating diversity, the latter is ramming it down peoples throats in a misguided attempt at political agitation. I freely admit I may be accused of doing this myself with my cross-dressing, and sometimes joke about it ‘giving people a real excuse to stare’, but the truth is this is just one semi-political motive for my dressing. I dress more for comfort, for fun and other things than for the sake of disability politics. It’s true it highlights difference, but its also true that many non-disabled men dress too. Thus the two are different. To deliberately draw attention to disability in the name of ‘pride’, as a cultural model would do, as some do in s.l and reality, rather than simply letting people notice it in the background, raises more barriers than it breaks down.