You know, it all boils down to a set of contradictions: as a disabled man, I am expected to value my difference to ‘the norm’ but also reject the very idea of normal; I am supposed to expect people to accept my needs and differences, but shouldn’t have to explain what those differences are to people; I shouldn’t be expected to have to conform to an essentially arbitrary status quo, yet I hate people staring at me for being ‘different’. Nor should I have to explain my views on the politics of the status quo to people. I belong to a community, a subculture, yet I am no different than anyone else. To a certain extent that community is there and not there, its existence as I’ve written before is academically problematic. if it exists does it, if effect, ostracise others with a politics of us and them? we need it for the purposes of solidarity, but in a way do we not segregate ourselves further? wwe work towards inclusion, yet from certain vantagge points it is necessary to ghettoise ourselves.

I hope you all have realised what I’ve been trying to articulate these last few days. To me, these contradictions go to the heart of being a disabled man at the dawn of the twenty-first century. As all positions are equally valid – I am different, yet normal, and value my status as both – I see no way of resolving these paradox.

The whole thing is giving me a head ache.