Dear most mighty and powerful god of London busses. Thank you for making London busses accessible after such a long time – I really do appreciate the ability to get on public transport. But why, in your near-infinite wisdom, do you allow mums with prams to fill the space? And why this afternoon in Lewisham, did you send not one but two such busses, meaning I couldn’t get home? And why did you then plant the foolish notion in my head that I could walk home, only to direct me to a ‘shortcut’ which actually took me on a long loop straight back into the centre of the aforesaid Lewisham? I must say that it is a good job I was not in a particular hurry, lest I would be burning Peter Hendy dolls in effigy. Oh bus-god, you are wise and powerful, but your ways are yet a mystery to me.