I was just speaking to my dad, who was bemoaning the turgid state of British/english sport, especially he cricket. But as I see it, it’s not that bad: the cricket team may not currently be doing that well, but not so long ago we were on top of the world game for the first time in decades. Last year a brit won Wimbledon for the first time in 77 years; even if Murray does not win this year, that is still pretty awesome. Two years ago we put on an amazing olympics, and had our best medal haul ever. Not long ago we won the rugby world cup. When you think about it, there is a lot of glory in British/english sport’s recent past.

However, there is one glaring exception to this: football. When you look at it, english international football has been on epic let-down after another for almost fifty years. I was appalled at their recent performance, and, like many people I’m sure, very pissed off to hear that our players prioritise their club over the international game. Why should anyone have any respect for these overpaid, pampered jackasses? If you ask me, football has betrayed us, letting us all down. That’s why I’m going to ignore it from now on, and concentrate on proper sports more worthy of my respect.