I checked the news this morning to see that the duchess of Cambridge was in labour. I know I shouldn’t care about such things, and indeed was quite unaware that she was pregnant, but I can’t seem to help feeling touched. I know it’s irrational: the monarchy is an utterly undemocratic institution which feeds off tax payers money which could be better used elsewhere. As at least a quasi-socialist, I should be watching the news with loathing. And yet, at the same time, it is part of our national identity; the continuation of the national soap opera. The truth is I kind of like the monarchy, especially since the olympics – part of me wonders whether 007 is behind the scenes somewhere – so part of me feels quite warmly about this news. Paul our PA today is in a similar position: he is, I think, just as left wing as I am, yet earlier we were discussing what they are going to call her. It’s a funny, ambivalent and contradictory position to hold, but hold it I nevertheless do. I thus both congratulate the royal couple, and despair at having one more royal mouth to feed.