I may well be becoming a bit paranoid when it comes to schoolchildren. I’ve described here before how, from time to time, kids seem to think it’s funny to try to wind me up: they see me coming along the street in my powerchair, and start mocking and jaunting me, calling me things like “Stephen Hawking”, “Spazz” or “Mong”. I know I should just ignore it and that they’re just trying to get a reaction, but part of me is too proud. Why should I have to put up with it, after everything I have achieved? I doubt any of them will ever get anywhere near a Master’s. It feels so unfair, so hurtful, I just want to tell them to shut the fuck up.

The thing is, it only seems to happen when they’re in groups. A group of three or four kids, usually boys between about eleven and fourteen, try to impress one another by taunting me and trying to get me going. On their own there usually isn’t a problem. It has thus reached the stage where, whenever I see a group of boys ahead of me, I feel a pang of trepidation. My adrenalin rises slightly, as if something bad is about to happen. Of course, most of the time when I come across such groups of boys, nothing bad happens and we pass without a word; yet I somehow can’t help worrying that I’m about to be taunted or mocked.

I just got back from Tesco. It was a simple, routine trip for supplies. It was about half three though, and the local schools were just emptying. On my way I passed quite a few groups of young boys in my chair, and I couldn’t help noticing feeling slight pangs of caution, fear and even anger as I passed each one. Nothing actually happened as it turned out, and the trip passed totally without incident. Yet, coming home, I couldn’t help reflecting to myself that I had reached this stage: that I have got to the point where the sight of a group of kids makes me fearful, or even angry. How can that be right? Why should I need to put up with this? Do other people fear kids like this? If anyone else described having such feelings – say, an elderly black man – society would rightly be appalled. Why, then, is it okay for me to be cowed by schoolchildren, just because I drive a powerchair and drool a bit?