There’s no denying that having unclear or distorted speech can be a pain in the arse. It is, after all, why I need to use a communication aid. Yet I must admit that there are times when not being understood has its advantages.

I think I’ve touched on here before how much I loathe papers like the Sun or Daily Mail. They are nothing but right wing tabloid rags, responsible for perpetuating the cult of Brexit. I find the fact that they get away with printing hall the bigoted shit they spew quite sickening. As such I seem to have fallen into quite a nasty habit of giving a nazi salute and crying “Zeig heil!” whenever I come across anyone carrying a copy of the Express or Mail, simply to show my revulsion at what they have chosen to read. This morning for instance, I was in my local shop buying a loaf of bread when I saw an old man at the checkout buying a copy of the Mail: as I was passing him in my chair I flipped my arm up and shouted the notorious nazi greeting at him, but he didn’t notice. He just went on his way with no inkling that I had just called him a fascist.

I realise that it is a childish, petulant act which I don’t advise anyone to copy. It just amuses me that I can get away with it: people don’t understand what I’m shouting or why I’m waving my arm. They have no idea that I’m trying to speak German, or take the piss out of their abhorrent political views; all they see is a disabled man waving his arm around and mumbling something indistinguishable. It therefore causes no insult, but nevertheless constitutes a small act of defiance on my part against the growing right wing Brextremist faction which seems to be taking hold in the country. Oh how I love being a cripple sometimes.