I really thought the issue I had with the pub in Lewisham had been resolved. Last Sunday, when I spoke to the manager, she seemed quite apologetic and understanding, and seemed to imply that now we had talked matters through I would be welcome back. However, when I decided to put this to the test yesterday afternoon, things weren’t so positive by any means: I was again refused service, and again the staff insisted that I had to have a ‘carer’ with me to have a drink there. This seemed absurd to me. I felt discriminated against, and lost my temper. There was a different manager on duty there yesterday, who didn’t seem anywhere near as considerate. I’m embarrassed to say that I lost control and did some things I should not have, but settled things in the end.

The bottom line is I won’t be going back to that pub. I still feel very hurt by the way they treated me. I’ve written here before about how much I relish my independence, and how much I cherish my ability to go into places like pubs on my own. It helps me feel just like any other, normal guy. To have that ability refused me; to be told that I need someone looking after me, or that the staff can’t ‘do table service’, or that they don’t want to have to do small but helpful things like rinse my straws, really is insulting. I never have such issues anywhere else. To be honest, combined with the contempt I encountered yesterday in Tesco, I can’t help feeling more than a little rejected. Frankly, days like the one I had yesterday make me feel like a worthless cripple who nobody wants to have to help.

As I say, I won’t be going back to that pub. They sold my favourite beer, Leffe, on tap, which is why I kept returning, but now I’ll find somewhere else. Yet it just feels so hurtful: I thought issues had been settled there, so to be treated like I was yesterday evening, to be told that staff were too busy to give me the little bits of help I need, feels like a real punch in the stomach. I can’t help thinking if I was anyone else, if I was a member of any other minority being denied service due to factors innately liked to being a member of that minority, this would be seen as a blatant act of discrimination and everyone would rightly be up in arms.