I’ve written a few times about my absences, and how uncomfortable and anxious they often make me feel. When I know one is coming, I feel a strange sense of imminent doom. Yet in a weird way they can also make me feel a sense of relief and even contentment, particularly after they happen. This morning, for example, I had one: to be honest I’d known one was coming for the last few days, and Sod’s Law prevailed so it happened during a visit by my parents. Of course they knew what was happening and helped me through it.

Now though, I must admit I feel oddly cheerful. It’s as if I now know it happened, it is over and I don’t have to worry about it anymore. The one I knew was due happened at home and there were no serious consequences, so I can now get on with the day without having to worry. While that obviously won’t be my last ever absence, I now won’t have another for some time. Knowing that feels oddly liberating. That seems to me quite a positive, optimistic way to look at things, which other people can probably learn from.