I was rather confused when I saw Christmas decorations up in the canteen this morning. It struck me as odd, but then it left my mind – I had bigger things to ponder, like breakfast. The matter was not resolved until it thickened even further, when I entered the canteen to see the staff decked out in festive garb serving turkey for tea. Had I overslept by 6 months? No: it was the hottest day of the year.

This almost pythonesque scene was explained when one of the kitchen staff explained that the had surplus figgy pudding which needed eating. I collapsed into giggles, and asked for the stuffing.