I just found out about a new sport – dwarf tossing. It’s where you get a little person and chuck them as far as possible. It’s mostly played in pubs, which, if you asked me, seems fitting. presumably, you must catch said dwarf first… hmm…wheres my net?

proof of the existence of dwarf tossing

This year, Thursdays will probably get on mine and Esther’s nerves. It’s just so hectic. For one, my first lesson’s at 9, and I’m of the opinion that 9am lectures should be illegal, especially the morning after the Wednesday disco. I had to go to bed at 11 just to make sure I was up! It’s positively barbaric. Then, this afternoon, I had a film lecture from 3 till 6 – SIX would you believe. That’s after teatime. How dare they make me wait for dinner?

Mind you, both these lectures were fascinating. In writer’s contexts, instead of the usual wishy-washy ‘we say a sentence and you continue writing’, we actually learned something of art history. At last, I thought, something I can get my teeth into.

Film was even better. We learned mostly about philosophy in relation to film (too tired to relate it here) but I found it very stimulating. Alan seemed enthusiastic about my doing a PhD too!

This year is gonna be a good one!

I’m just looking at my PhD application form – you almost need a degree to fill it in, but I suppose that’s the whole point. I have put aside this afternoon to get on with it; to be honest, I just want to do the research and the reading, never mind the stupid forms. I also need to get my head round funding, which, coming from a man in an almost perpetual state of confusion, might be a tall order.

Forms are silly!

How to write a paper in college/university:

Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

Check your email.

Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

Check your email.

You know, you haven’t written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You’d better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.

Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

Check your email.

Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she’s started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, thecourse, the college, the world at large.

Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You’ve probably run out.

While you’ve got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

Check your email.

Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren’t missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

Check out bored.com.

Wash your hands.

Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven’t started either.

Look through your housemate’s book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

Lie face down on the floor and moan.

Punch the wall and break something.

Check your email.

Mumble obscenities.

5am – start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

Complain to everyone that you didn’t get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

Having just got my first assignment, posting this seemed appropriate!

It would appear that the ouch podcast is getting increasingly political, as the most recent has David Blunkett as it’s guest. His appearance there raises a few interesting questions though, such as to what extent should a disabled MP be expected to speak about disability issues, even if he was elected to do something else? This the programme itself explores: should a disability be incidental, or an innate part of one’s being? I personally believe that one should balance the two: be proud of one’s disability, but don’t be consumed by it.

link

All I can say to this is ‘well, D’uh!’. I could have told them that attacking Iraq would make matters worse; a million people who went to the march in protest could have done so. But no, we went to war in the terrifyingly stupid belief that by killing terrorists their numbers would decrease.

How idiotic can you get?

I would dearly have loved to see the burrow again. Most of my friends are in Chester this weekend, at charlotte’s; she invited me – in fact she invited me almost as soon as we saw each other on Monday morning – and I told her that I would think about it. I certainly wanted to go, as almost my whole cohort of friends were going, and I knew it would have been a lot of fun, but as far as I could see there were two problems:

1.transport. How was I going to get there? Of course, I could always have cadged a lift of someone, or asked Steve if I could go with him via train. This was, I knew the most minor of the two problem

2.this is my first weekend staying at university, and as such it’s the first time home help have come to me of a Saturday morning. JB, who arranges things like my care, had gone to a lot of effort to arrange a weekend call for me. The last thing I wanted to do was confuse the whole system by cancelling my very first call. Okay, I know what some of you are thinking:; ‘if you had a personal assistant for breakfast instead of homecare, there’d be no problem.’ This is true, but homecare do offer certain advantages, inflexible though they are, such as reliability. Plus, I’ve only had my new PA a week, and I better build up some time with her before actually doing the mad stuff.

Oh well; I think I did the right thing, but this didn’t stop me getting rather bitter about it last night. It was okay, in the end, though – I took myself to brandies and had about five pints of tetley’s.

At this rate I’ll die of exhaustion. I went to another party last night, this time in Crewe. I was invited by Rob, and, having turned him down in favour of going to the pub on Tuesday, I felt I better go. Jim gave me a lift.

I swear, rob’s going to be the end of me. As on Wednesday, nobody was dancing to the rock band on stage. As a 3rd year, I thought I had better respond to rob’s request and set an example by dancing. So, with his help, I walked down the steps onto the dance floor, and…well…danced. Surprisingly, I didn’t fall over, even after the couple of beers I ad been drinking with some freshers! I jigged about; Rob ran about like a mad thing; my good friend Martin came over too, and a good time was had by all. Rob told me that th band – whose name I forget – are touted as ‘the next big thing, and I could certainly believe it.

I better say, as new student activities officer, Robert Crol is brilliant. I have never seen this place so buzzing. He has so much lined up; I only hope he can maintain the momentum.

Mind you, I might not be able to.

I was wrong yesterday. I had expected a regular disco, but with samba beats; what I got was a real samba band. It was set up in the axis theatre, where the samba band had been hired in from Birmingham – after the show, the audience was supposed to o to brandies next door.

The English are a funny lot. The seating platforms in the theatre had been pushed back, leaving the flat floor which could only mean one thing – they wanted the audience to dance. Being British and reserved, however, they just sat on the floor, like primary school children in an assembly. To them, this was a performance, and the right etiquette had to be followed. Thus, to begin with, nobody was dancing.

I tried to lead by example by jigging my chair about, and towards the end of the show, most people were on their feet – my mate rob (now student activities officer) was jumping around like a loon. But some people stayed sat on the floor. Weird.

Anyway, last night was cool after all. I still say Christina would have shown everyone how to do it, but she’s way too clever to even be on campus! Nevertheless, if this is the type of thing Rob’s going to organise, I’m looking forward to this year.

Tonight is, apparently, samba night at brandies. I heard this last night, and my eyebrow instantly rose – I had visions of lines of northern girls trying to do something resembling a samba, thinking they look good but failing.

It also reminded me of quite aa cool night out I recently had in London. My Brazilian aunt and cousin took me, Luke and my parents to a pagodgy – a Brazilian / Portuguese bar. There, over a few beers, my cousin Christina taught my folks to samba, which was rather an amusing image. Chris certainly has rhythm, and I’m tempted to invite her up from oxford so she an show everyone how samba should be, although I doubt she could come at such short notice. Oh well, I should have a few giggles tonight anyway, especially given that most girls will be very scantily clad indeed. hmm

I was just looking for a video my bro Luke showed me about the universe, and I stumbled on to this. it’s about a camp in America which apparently intends to teach children to be ‘soldiers of Christ’. Now, I do not mind people being religious – until I read hawkin, I used to be very religious myself. But when kids are being so obviously brainwashed, and told they have to believe in the bible without question, I think we should all be worried.

I need hardly remind you guys: academia is all about questions. It’s about debate. One researcher poses a question, another might answer, but it does not stop there. Research is a never ending debate where we can never be and must never be absolutely certain of the answer. We must always be open to new ideas, and weigh each idea according to the evidence supporting it.

This type of religion closes minds, brainwashes even. It teaches kids that ‘there is only one truth – mine’, which is very unhealthy. As a person who relishes academic rigour, I see such camps as betraying children. I am very worried.

I’m back at uni. Right now, I’m sitting in my old university room, mum having dropped me off about half san hour ago. Because it had adaptations which suited me, like special keys and buttons to open doors, I’ve always had this room when at university; thus it feels rather like a homecoming. The place hasn’t changed much, apart from a pair of curtains and a lick of paint, and I’ll have to get Esther to put my posters up later. Nevertheless, my third and final year should be a good one, and I really am looking forward to lectures starting next week.

This gives me time to settle in, sort out my timetable and get a head start on work. Hopefully I’ll see a few friends around campus later today.

Hope everyone has an equally good day.

Last night I watched with horror Tony Robinson’s documentary on ‘End Timers’ – people who believed that the world is about to end in accordance with the book of revelation. It was an excellent, well rounded documentary, and a clear antidote to the other tripe usually on TV of a Saturday evening; what it exposed, however, horrified me.

It is deeply worrying that people actually believe this ‘end of the world’ garbage. After all, as Robinson pointed out towards the end of the programme, it was probably written on an island by a man whose intention was to write some anti-roman propaganda. However, some people still believe in it, as they believe in the story of creation over Evolution.

As with creationists, one’s first reaction is to dismiss such people as lunatics. However, while I am convinced of their abject stupidity, so much so that I want to go up to them and cry ‘it’s just a frikkin book!’, these people are too numerous to be ignored. Moreover, they seem to be in a position of power, especially with Bush in power in the u.s.

This is worrying. If you believe that the world is going to end soon, what’s the point in planting crops? More importantly, what’s the point of caring about the environment if you believe that global warming is just evidence of the coming apocalypse?

And here, I think, we get to the rub. Although Mr. Robinson does not say this in his programme, it seems obvious to me that such thinking plays straight into the hands of the petrochemical companies. With people thinking like this, they can have carte blanche to dig where they want. Indeed, one American on last nights programme said he was intending to dig under the holy land, claiming he had scripture backing him up.

Thus it is clear that, in America, we have a toxic mix of fundamentalism and oil: people are using religion for their own personal gain, using it to distort realty and make money. People are being manipulated, yet seem too arrogant and sure in their own narrow beliefs to notice. It is very very scary and something we should all be worried about.

I heard earlier today that the children’s commissioner Sir Al Aynsley-Green has described education provision for kids with autism as ‘shocking and appalling’. I have no reason to argue with him, but fear that this is only the tip of the iceberg. Provision for kids with SEN in general is dire, not just those with autism; my fear now is that people will start the whole ‘inclusion isn’t working’ gig. The opposite is the case: it is segregation that’s the problem, as special schools are innately damaging. This is not to say that I advocate dumping all kids into comprehensive schools as is; this will do more damage than good. The solution is more complex. My fear, however, that this report will cause a backlash from those who think segregation is the way forward – it isn’t; and I doubt it was the author’s intent to say such a thing. Nevertheless, the inclusion debate has just warmed up a bit more.

read more here

This link is just incredible. It’s about a woman with a bionic arm, controlled only by thought. I am totally amazed by what…

TRANSMITION INTERUPTED

SUBSPACE FREQUENCIES OPEN

WE ARE BORG. LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND PREPARE TO BE INVADED. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

just kidding

Previously, I had been worried that the new bbc 3 comedy I’m with stupid. This afternoon, however, I read this article by Alan martin, which does go some way to assuage my concerns. He points out that, after all, this is a bit of fiction, not intended to mirror reality. Of course, one can point out that programmes with crips in come about so rarely, this is our one chance to get it right; yet for the same reason, if we moan too much, we risk putting off program selectors, and programmes about disabled people won’t be commissioned. Anyway, go read

i think this dude can play guitar:

go check this out now!

although its on the AOL site, here’s a link to the latest Casino Royale trailer. Good to see that, in the days of international terrorism, there are still a few people upon which one can depend.

cheers esther!

It was, perhaps, no surprise that Blair faced hecklers this afternoon. He is, after all, something of a lame duck after announcing his own expiry date earlier this week. Yet, while I disagree upon many points, notably the war in Iraq, I thought it was a good speech delivered by a master orator. I felt he presented good, well-rounded points upon issues like immigration: I have no problem with the idea of keeping some kind of record of who comes in and leaves the country, especially these days. I do, however, have a problem with trying to limit immigration, as Mr. Cameron proposes. The differences between labour and Tory are still there, believe it or not.

Another important difference is delivery. Blair still seems like an honest, genuine guy, who passionately believes in what he is saying, whether you agree with him or not. After all, he’s not up for re-election, which lends him credibility. Cameron, on the other hand, just seems to me like an actor, trying to appear friendly to the public. Obviously, he’s trying to emulate Blair. Yet he is still a Tory: his stance on inclusive education shows that he does not understand the issue, and you et the sense that if and when he’s elected this mask will slip, and we’ll slip back to the dark days of thatcher and major. I for one am not that gullible and I hope that my fellow voters also see through this act.

This date is strange. Two numbers on the colander which mean se much to so many people. The beginning of a fight back for some, the beginning of a war of vengeance for others. I remember thinking, five years ago, where this will all end.

It hasn’t yet.

If, like me, you are interested in anthropology, you’ll find this very interesting indeed. the finding of these pigments very interesting indeed. it would suggest that abstract thought evolved in humans 100,000 years earlier than previously thought. While I remain skeptikal, my question is, could this represent the beginning of language?

There are many things in this world worth fighting for. As a disabled person, I support the causes of disability rights, inclusive education and so on. However, as a human, I feel it vital that we conserve as much of the biodiversity of our planet as possible. I admit I pollute; I admit I use excessive amounts of electricity; this does not mean conservation is no important to me.

It’s probably best if I let the experts speak for themselves:

” The fate of the creatures which share our planet lies entirely at the hand of mankind – it is within our power to protect them or watch them become extinct. Let us choose the first route.” – sir David Attenborough.

Or, better yet, watch this [makes me very sad].

This afternoon, I settled down to watch Two Rode Together on bbc2. a film from 1961 starring James Stewart. It’s a western, but what caught my eye is the portrayal of race relations between ‘white’ people and ‘native Americans’. The Indians had kidnapped some ‘white’ children about 15 years before the events of the film, and their parents want them back.

As we all know, native American people were traditionally handled appallingly by American film-makers. Americans wanted them to be portrayed as savage heathen, thereby concreting their claim to the land. They wanted film to confirm that the Indian was the bad guy, not them (never mind that the white settlers were guilty of virtual ethnic cleansing, and stole the land). Thus, in two Rode Together, we see this typical view confirmed: the Indians were savage child-stealers.

Yet, here the message gets slightly ambiguous. It is true that, in this film, Stewart describes Comanche ceremonies as barbaric, emphasising the most gruesome parts. On the other hand, when the captives are eventually ‘rescued’, it seems that they felt happier with the Indians; the hypocrisy and barbarism of the white society is exposed. Moreover the way in which white people are exposed as lynch-happy drunkards leaves one wondering which ethnic group is more ‘civilised’.

I have questioned for quite some time our arrogance in thinking that western society is the most advanced and ethical. It’s certainly the most polluting and wasteful.

Indeed, we can still see the attitudes some of ‘us’ – and I dislike using that word – held towards people like the Comanche, Navaho and Apache now held towards Muslims and people of Indian decent. It’s appalling how some still rely on old ways of thinking, outdated and just wrong, no man is any better than anyone else, regardless of skin tone, religion, accent, ability, or whatever.

I don’t know enough of the history of the western genre to know how much of a watershed two Rode Together was, but I suspect it was towards the end of the time when American Indians were simply caricatures. Yes, it had it’s faults, but I think it signalled a step in the right direction – a step that some still refuse to take.

I want to know why this dude didn’t get full marks. he answered the question, didn’t he?

Although it’s only part of the article, I found this story from the New Scientist fascinating. It’s about the discovery of a transitional form between fish and amphibians. While I must admit I am very amused by the mental image of a walking fish, flolloping along the ground (perhaps being chased by me in defiant to complete the pythonesque picture) I am amazed at the same time. Could Darwin have known that his theory would be proved so forcefully? Probably not.

For my part, I am an artist not a scientist, although I like to keep myself informed. Filmic analysis is not a science since the creation of film is an art. Yet at the moment I am convinced that, at the level of the shot, film can be dealt with in a roughly scientific paradigm. We learn from Metz that film is not a language, so I am happy to throw the linguistic paradigm out, but semiotics still remains. [I’m going in circles with this stuff right now].

Ho hum. At least filmic analysis is less messy than digging for fossils, even if there is not yet a central governing framework, like evolution, behind it.

Note I say ‘yet’.

I just got back from visiting university campus. I’ve recently employed a new non-academic PA, so I needed to show him where I’ll be for most of the time for the nest none months or so. I can’t have him coming to give me dinner, and him not knowing where I am. Hungry cripple! Bad medicine.

Campus was as quiet, as I had expected. Workmen were giving brandies a lick of paint, and my mate Jim was there (he lives on campus) but that’s about it. Yet the odd thing was, there was a strange smell. It isn’t a nasty smell, just the smell of campus, but for some reason I associated that smell with fear. I guess I only notice that smell at the beginning of term, before it fades into he background, and it is at the beginning of term that I am at my most apprehensive. Thus, I associated that smell with fear and felt a knot in my stomach as soon as it hit my nostrils.

But why should I be scared? True, this being my third year I know I’ll have to work my socks off, but I feel more prepared than ever. I have been doing plenty of reading, and feel comfortable with my subject. It’s illogical, but that knot nevertheless formed.

Either way, I’m really looking forward to this term. Going to lectures, seeing my friends, watching films, plays etc. I guess it’s just residue from school and Resi.

my fellow palin fans might be interested in this, a blog devoted to panin’s new europe. I don’t doubt it will be as great as his other series, and I’m really looking forward to it.

I’d like to express my sadness at the death of Steve Irwin. I’m surprised how much this news has affected me: I seldom got the chance to watch his programmes, but, when I did, I was taken by Irwin’s zest for life. Yes, much of what he did had me questioning his sanity, but this was in a joke-like manner, and everyone could see that this was a man who cared deeply for nature. He was quintessentially Australian, as Sir David Attenborough is quintessentially British, and he will be greatly missed.

link to the report

I must admit, Godard is growing on me. Here are films one can have a proper debate over, unlike most of what Hollywood produces these days. As with good novels, they are ambiguous and open to interpretation. I just watched his Le Mepris, and it feels like I have just finished a good book.

Le Mepris is about Paul, a screenwriter-cum-playwright and his relationship with his girlfriend, Camile, which is on the verge of breaking up. Paul is writing a screenplay for an adaptation of Homer’s Ulysses, and there’s quite a lot of debate between Paul and his producer, Prokosch, over the relationship between Ulysses and his wife, Penelope. Thus there’s a dualism between Paul, engaged on the ‘journey inward’ that off writing – and the ancient Greek hero. Of course this ends in tragedy when Camile and Prokosch die in a car accident – perhaps in retribution for tempting the gods. Thus, Godard is drawing allusions to the classics while forming a new style of film.

On a separate note, what interests me about Godard is his style. He is like nothing I have seen before, with his abrupt changes of music and flashes of colour. At first, these appalled me, as they were so different to what we are all used to. Yet, I realise now that Godard was not just being pretentious but revolutionary, deliberately testing the boundaries of film. I personally think that these boundaries don’t exist, and that filmic grammar is not at all rigid. Indeed, directors like Godard suggest that such grammar is purely aesthetic (much more so than with writing and natural language) and can be done away with altogether.

Although for some reason episode one sees to be episode two, I just watched the new bbc3 comedy ‘I’m with stupid.’ Not sure what to make of it, to be honest. Of course, any representation of disabled people in any media is to be welcomed, and on one level at least I’m With Stupid seems to represent them quite accurately. The programme seems to be about disabled residents in a carehome, all as capable of stabbing eachother in the back as everyone else. They gamble, and cheat, and lie. Indeed, the main crip, Paul, seems to be a sneaky little worm; some call him charming, but I can’t stand him.

However, the major problem I have with this problem is that it conforms to the stereotype of us crips belonging in care homes. In the real world, there’s no way folk like those would be in any such place. I have had the good fortune to have met the guy who plays graham, Alan Martin: he’s a successful businessman with his own dance company. I really do not like the idea that we crips are all in homes.

Be that as it may, I like this show, and am keen to see how it evolves. Who knows, it could be the next ‘Extras’. It can be viewed online here. More writing on this programme will no doubt follow on my site

Not much to say today, but I note from my cursory glance at the science page of the bbc news that mr. Cameron has jumped on the environmental band wagon. Yes, we should all be concerned about climate change and the hunt for sustainable fuel, but this just smacks of blatant vote-chasing, especially given the Tories’ track record on such matters.

One of the best and worst things about being a cripple is that I get stuff for free. That is, people give me stuff and refuse to take my money. It’s silly.

This morning, for example, I was in town and I noticed there was a book sale in the market. Here I cry the lament of the bibliophile: I have more books than I can possibly read, yet I cannot resist buying more. I swear, it’s a form of mania born of philology, or at least an addiction to the smell of glue. Anyway, I noticed some quite good authors on the bench – Balzac, Moliere (whom my aunt mentioned in her comments, if memory serves) – and I selected four or five. As usual, I rolled to the store holder, preparing to pay, but she said I could have them.

I know I should not have accepted them. Normally I refuse to be seen as a charity case. Yet I couldn’t refuse. In her eyes she was just being generous. What is one to do.

The remedy presented itself immediately. In all, these books would have cost a quid. Not very far away, a man was standing in the street selling the Big Issue for that price. I bought it, as, in my mind, it was the right thing to do.

Was it?