dwarf tossing

I just found out about a new sport – dwarf tossing. It’s where you get a little perrson and chuck them as far as possible. It’s mostly playsed in pubs, which, if you asked me, seems fitting. presumably, you mst catch said dwarf first… hmm…wheres my net?

proof of the existence of dwarf tossing


This year, Thursdays will probably get on mine and Esther’s nerves. It’s just so hectic. For one, my first lesson’s at 9, and I’m of the opinion that 9am lectures should be illegal, especially the morning after the Wednesday disco. I had to go to bed at 11 just to make sure I was up! It’s positively barbaric. Then, this afternoon, I had a film lecture from 3 till 6 – SIX would you believe. That’s after teatime. How dare they make me wait for dinner?

Mind you, both these lectures were fascinating. In writer’s contexts, instead of the usual wishy-washy ‘we say a sentence and you continue writing’, we actually learned something of art history. At last, I thought, something I can get my teeth into.

Film was even better. We learned mostly about philosophy in relation to film (too tired to relate it here) but I found it very stimulating. Alan seemed enthusiastic about my doing a PhD too!

This year is gonna be a good one!


I’m just looking at my PhD application form – you almost need a degree to fill it in, but I suppose that’s the whole point. I have put aside this afternoon to get on with it; to be honest, I just want to do the research and the reading, never mind the stupid forms. I also need to get my head round funding, which, coming from a man in an almost perpetual state of confusion, might be a tall order.

Forms are silly!

how to write essays (sent to me by Nicola)

How to write a paper in college/university:

Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

Check your email.

Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

Check your email.

You know, you haven’t written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You’d better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.


MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

Check your email.

Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she’s started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, thecourse, the college, the world at large.

Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You’ve probably run out.

While you’ve got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

Check your email.

Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren’t missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

Check out bored.com.

Wash your hands.

Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven’t started either.

Look through your housemate’s book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

Lie face down on the floor and moan.

Punch the wall and break something.

Check your email.

Mumble obscenities.

5am – start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

Complain to everyone that you didn’t get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

Having just got my first assignment, posting this seemed appropriate!

ouch podcast 6

It would appear that the ouch podcast is getting increasingly political, as the most recent has David Blunkett as it’s guest. His appearance there raises a few interesting questions though, such as to what extent should a disabled MP be expected to speak about disability issues, even if he was elected to do something else? This the programme itself explores: should a disability be incidental, or an innate part of one’s being? I personally believe that one should balance the two: be proud of one’s disability, but don’t be consumed by it.


new york times states the obvious

All I can say to thisis ‘well, D’uh!’. I could have told them that attacking Iraq would make matters worse; a million people who went to the march in protest could have done so. But no, we went to war in the terrifyingly stupid belief that by killing terrorists their numbers would decrease.

How idiotic can you get?

missing parties

I would dearly have loved to see the burrow again. Most of my friends are in Chester this weekend, at charlotte’s; she invited me – in fact she invited me almost as soon as we saw each other on Monday morning – and I told her that I would think about it. I certainly wanted to go, as almost my whole cohort of friends were going, and I knew it would have been a lot of fun, but as far as I could see there were two problems:

1.transport. How was I going to get there? Of course, I could always have cadged a lift of someone, or asked Steve if I could go with him via train. This was, I knew the most minor of the two problem

2.this is my first weekend staying at university, and as such it’s the first time home help have come to me of a Saturday morning. JB, who arranges things like my care, had gone to a lot of effort to arrange a weekend call for me. The last thing I wanted to do was confuse the whole system by cancelling my very first call. Okay, I know what some of you are thinking:; ‘if you had a personal assistant for breakfast instead of homecare, there’d be no problem.’ This is true, but homecare do offer certain advantages, inflexible though they are, such as reliability. Plus, I’ve only had my new PA a week, and I better build up some time with her before actually doing the mad stuff.

Oh well; I think I did the right thing, but this didn’t stop me getting rather bitter about it last night. It was okay, in the end, though – I took myself to brandies and had about five pints of tetley’s.

already exhausted

At this rate I’ll die of exhaustion. I went to another party last night, this time in Crewe. I was invited by Rob, and, having turned him down in favour of going to the pub on Tuesday, I felt I better go. Jim gave me a lift.

I swear, rob’s going to be the end of me. As on Wednesday, nobody was dancing to the rock band on stage. As a 3rd year, I thought I had better respond to rob’s request and set an example by dancing. So, with his help, I walked down the steps onto the dance floor, and…well…danced. Surprisingly, I didn’t fall over, even after the couple of beers I ad been drinking with some freshers! I jigged about; Rob ran about like a mad thing; my good friend Martin came over too, and a good time was had by all. Rob told me that th band – whose name I forget – are touted as ‘the next big thing, and I could certainly believe it.

I better say, as new student activities officer, Robert Crol is brilliant. I have never seen this place so buzzing. He has so much lined up; I only hope he can maintain the momentum.

Mind you, I might not be able to.

post samba night

I was wrong yesterday. I had expected a regular disco, but with samba beats; what I got was a real samba band. It was set up in the axis theatre, where the samba band had been hired in from Birmingham – after the show, the audience was supposed to o to brandies next door.

The English are a funny lot. The seating platforms in the theatre had been pushed back, leaving the flat floor which could only mean one thing – they wanted the audience to dance. Being British and reserved, however, they just sat on the floor, like primary school children in an assembly. To them, this was a performance, and the right etiquette had to be followed. Thus, to begin with, nobody was dancing.

I tried to lead by example by jigging my chair about, and towards the end of the show, most people were on their feet – my mate rob (now student activities officer) was jumping around like a loon. But some people stayed sat on the floor. Weird.

Anyway, last night was cool after all. I still say Christina would have shown everyone how to do it, but she’s way too clever to even be on campus! Nevertheless, if this is the type of thing Rob’s going to organise, I’m looking forward to this year.

samba night

Tonight is, apparently, samba night at brandies. I heard this last night, and my eyebrow instantly rose – I had visions of lines of northern girls trying to do something resembling a samba, thinking they look good but failing.

It also reminded me of quite aa cool night out I recently had in London. My Brazilian aunt and cousin took me, Luke and my parents to a pagodgy – a Brazilian / Portuguese bar. There, over a few beers, my cousin Christina taught my folks to samba, which was rather an amusing image. Chris certainly has rhythm, and I’m tempted to invite her up from oxford so she an show everyone how samba should be, although I doubt she could come at such short notice. Oh well, I should have a few giggles tonight anyway, especially given that most girls will be very scantily clad indeed. hmm