You know, perhaps I should have been an archaeologist. Then, instead of just moseying over to the wes to read or write, I could say cool stuff like ‘Pack your bags, est, we’re off to hunt for crystal skulls.’ Then we could go on adventures instead of just hanging around rainy old alsager. I’d need a cool name, something like…Indiana!

Mind you, real archaeology, fascinating though it is, mostly concerns digging holes rather than going on adventures. Nevertheless, from what I read, there really have been figures like dr. Henry ‘Indiana’ Jones – Belzoni etc – which is probably why this video has me jumping up and down with excitement. I cant wait,

Yes, yes, I know I’m getting very lax at updating this thing. I used to try to do it every day, but these days that is proving difficult. I’m busier than I was; or, perhaps, lazier.

Anyway, after the party Saturday night I went home yesterday for Sunday lunch and Palin. Saturday night was great – jen and ash throw great parties, although I tended to ignore their so-called rules (for example, you couldn’t say ‘drink’). Mayer seemed thoroughly bemused by it all, although I think he had a good time.

However, I think my lightwriter needs replacing. It’s refusing to take charge. Mind you, it is about eight. Dad has suggested I look into getting a new model of VOCA, which is a very interesting idea. I’m considering opting for a minspeak system – not only do I hear it’s faster, but it would be interesting to learn what is essentially a new language. Any suggestions on this subject would .be greatly appreciated.

Sorry about there being no bloggage yesterday. Thing is, nothing interesting happened; well, not until the end at least. Dr. fair delivered a most interesting refresher lecture on Lacan, and I instantly heard alarm bells ring. His concept of ‘the real’ disrupting the symbolic order is very similar, to me at least, to the barthesian idea of the punctum and the Kathleen idea of the cinephiliac moment. Of course, I need to read up on Lacan, but now I know where to go next with my MA. To be honest, I’m having great fun engaging with the various arguments. I have 5000 words down already.

Adding to it, however, might have to wait till Sunday or Monday. Tomorrow I have a post grad meeting up in Manchester from 9 till 3 (why does it have to be a Saturday) then, in the evening, jen and ash are throwing a Halloween party. This promises to be great fun: a few of my old year might be coming, and it will be great to see them. What’s more, I think Mayer’s coming! If he does, it will be great – I’d love to show him campus, and all my friends here. Kind of like my old world meets my new world. I think I’ll try to encourage him to come to university; I see no reason why that wouldn’t be possible – he’s just as clever as I am. I suspect, too, that film would suit him, as would acting, perhaps. Anyway I’ll discuss it with him. It would be great to catch up. Mind you, what he says when he sees what I’m wearing tomorrow night I dread to think.

Cripes its twenty to ten already. Better get busy. Much to organise!

A few days ago, ash showed me this. it’s like sesame street, but cool. I agree with their sentiments exactly! Hehehe

[nsfw]

I was wrong! Totally, gloriously wrong!

Today I once again started the hunt for my friends. It has been eight months or so since I went looking for Richard, and, since then I have been too scared to go looking for the rest of my friends from school. I was scared that I’d only find more sorrow. But today, having added quite a bit too my thesis and finding myself in need of a stroll, I tapped the name ‘lee mayer’ into the online phone book, and finding one in Crewe, decided to go a-hunting.

I printed map, caught the 20, and was on my way, nervous at what I might find. The map lead me straight to the place with only a little hassle. I rolled up to the door, and knocked. At first I thought I had the wrong place, for this guy with a beard answered. Mayer, it seems, needs a shave.

After he accused me, in jest, of stalking him, we spent the afternoon chatting. I had to leave all too soon, but I was pleased to hear donno and phill are still very much about, although the latter is, in Mayer’s words, ‘still fat’. Anyway, it was great to see him, and hopefully he’ll come to visit me on campus soon. Yay!

Sorry I haven’t updated this site since Thursday. on Friday, I was busy, then I was home for the weekend where my pc isn’t set up. Blogging is my addiction (well, one of three or four, actually) and I stat feeling guilty if I can’t do it every day or so. I’m not sure why, but it’s not dissimilar to my compulsion to show off.

Anyway, while I was at home, I found that the most recent issue of Speak Out had been delivered. This is the one voice magazine. This edition carried news of mine and Katie’s graduation successes, as well as a report of the gospel choir donation, which, if I bump into them, I’ll show Dom and the head of music. It gave me great pride in reading of everyone’s successes.

There was,, however, one thing which I’m not entirely sure about. Far be it for me to begrudge a fellow cripples success – I am, after all, just a pseudo-intellectual whizzing around campus talking bollox about Lacan – but I’m not too keen on Toby’s business. He goes into schools talking about disability. From what I can gather, he gives talks and demonstrations to school children on disability and social acceptance. Now, I’m all for such things, especially about raising awareness of disability among kids. I just think A) there are better ways to achieve such things and B) that Toby’s approach may be counter productive. To me, to go into schools and say ‘look at me, I have cp’ smacks of tokenism (as dr. West-Burnham recently pointed out). It reminds me of a zoo: ‘look, I have an iguana and a cripple to show you today, kids’. It is far better to actually teach disabled kids alongside able-bodied kids: this way, the lesions will be much longer-lasting. Moreover, Toby’s approach will in fact re-enforce ideas of difference: by setting himself up as a ‘special event’, he is in Marxist language fettishising himself. I admit I had similar ideas once, but there was always this worry that I might turn myself into a three ring circus. To the kids he talks to, disability will be seen as a rarity, something uncommon to be explored. In short, freakish. I really don’t like this sort of tokenism, and fear it may be doing more harm than good.

Thursdays are always long. I have a 4 to 7 film lecture in Crewe, which really knackers me. I’m shattered and intend to hit the hay right after posting this. anyway, earlier today, during breakfast, I was watching bbc news. They had a piece about this years turner prize candidates, one of which was simply a piece of wood stretched across the corridor. Now, writers contexts 3 last year gave me a better appreciation of fine art, but this piece just struck me as stupid. Obviously, it would be impossible to get a wheelchair over it (I presume your meant to step over it) and hence in terms of meaning it was virtually a sign saying ‘no cripples’. Did anyone else notice it, or am I misreading it? I’ll ask professor fisher next time I see him.

I was at a bit of a loose end last night. I never want to work much in the evenings, when typing is at it’s hardest, and jen and ash, who I usually pop in on, were busy learning lines. So, reluctant to spend the night in my room, alone, and noticing there was a performance on in the arts centre, I took myself over to the axis theatre. A theatre company were performing a series of monologues there; they were quite good, and it was actually extremely thought provoking. The theme concerned the split between country and the city, segregation, race – I couldn’t quite work out their politics, although, in retrospect, this is a good thing as it allowed you to make your own mind up.

Lynn and faythe were there, and afterwards we went to brandies for aa nightcap. After a while, the cast came in, and eventually we got chatting. I must say I was very impressed to find out that one of the cast had met both Gandalf and Picard, I mean sir Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart, but I didn’t find out much more about the politics of the show. Whose side was it on, if any?

This is why I love uni – being able to cruise over to the theatre to take in a show after a day of study. Yes, academia suits me very well indeed.

Today has been okay. Started by reading, then wrote 1001 words on why the cinephiliac moment is not punctum. Then, this afternoon I was looking for something to put on my blog. After a while looking through silly videos made by phyios, I came across this: CRIPPLEPORN! Mwahahaha

[nsfw]

Although it was my friend gilles (pronounced jeel) birthday this weekend, I’m pleased to announce a historic win over the French – in conkers! Not only did we beat them in rugby, but we also tthwacked them at conkers. Mwahahaha! Now who’s mother is the hamster?

link

these guys give me certain ideas, of which my father would not approve. mind you, gettiing onto a bus yesterday I did a wheelie; scared me shitless frankly. if you ask me, buss ramps only pay lip-service to accessability – I mean, have you tried manouvering a chair onto a bus. Thats what I call extreme chairing.

Dear Mr. CaMoron

You will probably now be feeling quite pleased with yourself after Wednesday’s performance in the commons. By most reports,, you gave Mr. brown a seriously bloody nose. However, believe me, sir: you should not be feeling so smug. It is blatantly obvious to me and, one hopes, most of the British public that you are nothing more than a sham. It is clear that you are emulating the style of Tony Blair ten years ago in the hope of emulating his success, but it is also clear that this is a mere illusion. One which will disappear the day you are elected – either you will drop the platitudes to the middle ground, or your backbench will revolt. I therefore find that you made very similar accusations at Mr. brown laughably hypocritical, to the point that you insult my intelligence.

I, sir, am a masters student with a first class bachelors degree from Manchester Metropolitan University. I also have Athetoid cerebral palsy. I see myself as a product of inclusion, for it was only until I left my woefully inadequate special school that I truly started to learn. I saw first hand how such schools fail children: they do not encourage their charges, but rather leave them to rot intellectually. My intellectual stimulation came from my parents, and hence, to my knowledge, I am the only person in my school year to get to university, to my knowledge. Therefore I cannot let you inaugurate a return to segregated education. Indeed, were you to do so I would see it as a breach of human rights and subsequently a violation of the Geneva convention. Moreover, such a move would violate numerous united nations resolutions, and I would therefore have no choice but to write to the sectary general and ask he impose sanctions on the u.k as they did to south Africa during the era of aphartied. For the one is tantamount to the other: both are born of the will to separate; and there is no intellectual reason for either. Further, I see that the act of teaching kids with special needs in separate institutions as intimately linked to housing them separately – as placing them into care homes. My fear is that one will lead to the other, for both are governed by the same ‘logic’. Were this to happen, I fear that not many disabled kids will follow me into higher education.

In short, sir, I will not let you, through your ultimately nave, short sighted and closed minded policies (despite their thin veneer of reasonable presentation) set disability rights and this country on the whole back a decade. I hope this country realises what to me is obvious: that you are a fraud, a sham, and that your performances at being respectable are nauseatingly hollow.

Yours

Matt Goodsell.

All in all it hasn’t been a bad day. I started reading after breakfast, at 9, and when I looked up it was lunchtime. I was fascinated by what I was reading – the writer, whose name I forget and can’t be arsed to get the article out of my bag, mentioned something called the ‘cinephilic moment’: a moment in a film when one is awe struck. Importantly, he wrote that this can occur without the directors intent. It can be an accident – the wind in trees etc. well hello! Can we say ‘roland Barthes’? this is exactly what I’ve been mulling over since last week – great moments in film which catch you, ‘prick’ you. I’m not sure it can be called punctum in the strictest sense, but… well, lets just say I’m fascinated.

In other news, today saw the return of gospel choir. I rolled over to watch. A, because I like the music, and b to make sure Dom did it right. He did. By the end, despite only having to bass voices, they were sounding pretty good. Seems I had nothing to worry about.

I’ve been looking at photographs quite a bit recently. Barthes was right, I think – they do have a strange, magical quality to them inasmuch as they capture a fraction of a second for eternity. They make time stop. They ratify the past in a way that no other art form can, proving unambiguously that the past did indeed happen. They are causes of both joy and sorrow as they remind us simultaneously that, while the past may never come again, their existence links us to history and in a way provides hope for the future.

Today I went and got a frame and made a collage of my photos, mostly using ones from graduation, Newquay and the summer ball. I’m pretty pleased with the result. The stillness of these images gives them an eternal quality. They’re moments in time captured forever, an effect underlined, at least for me, by their framing. Barthes was indeed right, therefore, when he wrote that punctum can only be found in the still photo. These images prick me, both with pain, for I miss my friends, but also with happiness as the collage will serve to tie me to the past. As with the photo at home in the conservatory, and the ones Charlie gave me for my birthday, they commemorate the last three years. They remind me of my friends; they also tell me that I can do anything.

This is inane. You may recall that joss suggested I stood for disabilities officer.. I went to see kev in the union who gave me the address of the general sectary of the union. Today she replied,, apologising for the day, but telling me that the post could only be filled by a student who studied up in Manchester, rather than at the Cheshire faculty. Wtf? What a stupid rule. I printed the email and showed it to joss and kev, who both agreed it was stupid. How inane.

This is cool: the proper, final-cut version of the 1voice music video is up. It kicks ass. I love it. Its quite hip actually, ‘meaning much more than most other music videos. Its also food for thought in terms of my cinephilia project – it is, after all, a film. To a certain extent, I’d argue that it has punctum, although Barthes suggested that only the still image can ‘prick’. Perhaps I better modify Barthes slightly…anyway I digress. Big shout out to everyone involved. The guys at 1voice especially. I ought also to mention the mmu gospel choir and their kind donation again. They rule too. Anyway, go watch; if you’ve already seen it, watch it again!

I’m unsure weather it’s a good idea or not. Ii had a meeting yesterday with joss west burnham. Earlier in the week I’d sent her a note (Colin, at that time, still being broken) about the whole inclusion issue. As I see it, its all about encouraging kids, telling them that, no matter what their disability may be, they have as muck potential as anyone else. Very conveniently, dad returned my good-as-new lightwriter yesterday (yay!) so I was able to discuss this with joss, who is head of ‘widening participation’, an organisation here on campus designed to encourage kids to come to uni. Joss saw my point, and seemed very enthusiastic, but then she made quite a cool suggestion: rather than going to talk to kids with SEN, which, we agreed, would smack of tokenism, perhaps I should go to talk to teachers. Teachers who aren’t optimistic about a kids prospects will fail to encourage their students. One way of solving this problem is to go to its source, or one of them. We need to make sure that teachers know a disabled kid has as much potential as any other. It also occurs to me that I would have quite a bit in common with a person who has just begun teacher training, inasmuch as we’re kind of at the same academic level, just finished our degrees etc. would that make me more suited to the task?

I don’t know what, if anything, will come of this, but it certainly is an interesting idea.

Charlie came back yesterday evening, just for the night. She needed to see Dom about gospel choir – Dom’s now taken over as leader of the gospel choir. To be quite honest I don’t envy him: charlotte moulded the quire into one hell off an organisation during her tenure as leader, and he has a lot to live up to. For my part, I plan to still drop by on rehearsals, just to make sure the dwarf’s not ruining it.

It was great to see her though. We spent the evening together, eating in the plough, then changing before going to jen’s for pre-brandies drinks. It was great to catch up: I’m pleased to report charlotte’s loving teacher training, and it’s very apparent that she’ll one day make an excellent music teacher. She’s finding the work-load on the heavy side, as I am with my MA, but that’s to be expected. Its nothing either of us cant manage.

We also hatched a few plans: we want to get as many of the guys together as possible and go somewhere in Europe next summer. I said Paris and c agreed. That would be great, although I better warn mark and Kat beforehand.

Well, what else can I say? It was a great evening, talking, dancing, having fun. We both went to bed early – c had an early start. Can you believe as I type she’ll be teaching kids? Ha! Neither of us, I should say, got drunk – just tipsy. We were both in bed by 11.30, Charlie staying on jen’s floor (my floor is now wooden lino and looks wholly unappetising to sleep on). I’m not sure when I’ll see her next, but, if I’m invited, she wants to go to the 1voice winter event – a great idea if you ask me. Maybe I could take both her and Steve – now there’s an idea!

Well, its time I too started work. As I say, it was great to see her, but the real world, work, and definitions cannot be postponed indefinitely. Plus, now I have Paris to organise. Yay!

behold the dissembling and worming of a prty hungry for power. since whan have the conservatives ever been the party of the future? they still wish it wass 1860! to hear them describe labour as having ‘old politics’ is the worst case of pots and kettles I’ve seen in years. for all his posturing and appealing, Camoron is still a little power-crazed worm intent on maintaining the status quo

I still love this place, even after four years. I was just over in emberton south with maria and burien. Burien was helping maria make a model bird for a performance a phoenix. Maria is supposed to bond with the bird; become the bird. Given that’s its papier machet, I’m not sure how that will work, but hey, its ctp.

A short while earlier, I was talking to burien about his plans to make a perpetual motion machine. I showed him the wikkipedia article on thermodynamics, but he still says he’ll give it a go. Should be interesting. Time to go back to check how the birds coming along.

How come whenever CaMoron comes on TV, I start hurling obscenities at the screen? For all his attempts to appear nice and friendly and reasonable, its blatantly obvious that its all a show to anyone with a knowledge of history. Conservatism isn’t ‘nice’. It isn’t forward thinking. Conservatism is about maintaining the status quo and class division. Since when has it concerned itself with things like the environment, save when it’s likely to win votes. And then. Yesterday on TV, CaMoron has the gall to say brown is all show and no substance. Talk about hypocrisy! This coming from practically the most showy, shallowest candidate in history! Bah!

Anyway, stuff to do – photocopying, eating, reading and zooming. Before I go, I’ll say hi to mark and Kat in their new digs in Paris; Luke wherever the hell he is (Manchester?) and all my friends.