Today I showed Mayer where rich was buried. He turned up at about half three – he has the habit of just turning up randomly. I do it myself to others, so I cant complain. Earlier in the week I had told him where rich was, and this afternoon he asked if we could go. So we went. in many ways, lee was even closer to rich than I was. Infernal, godawful business. I know I’m not the only one – many people my age have lost friends, including those from special schools. But I cant help the feeling that it’s all fucked up.