I still feel stupid; I always do after it happens. Yesterday was a great day, bright and sunny. Our friend chopper had the day of so about one he came round and invited me out: it seems he was in the mood to do something fun, but wasn’t sure what. We eventually decided to go up into London – we had been planning to have a boys’ day out for quite a while, and yesterday suddenly became the day to do it.
The thing is, I was having one of my off days. I sometimes get odd little absences; according to my parents, they’re not epilepsy, but are related to it. I don’t lose consciousness, but they break my concentration, blur my sense of space, and generally confuse and worry me. I had had one an hour or so before chopper came round so I was feeling a bit low, so I thought a trip out might take my mind off it.
So off we went, making first for the train station, ad from there to the city centre. Chopper said he wanted to show me London as he knew it – the London of a man who has lived here all his life. It was great fun – first we got money, then went to a pub, then decided w needed more money. I won’t tell you everything that happened up there, because that is between me and my friend, but needless to say we ha a really great time. However, at about half eight, around about Leicester Square, I zoned out again. We had just eaten some pizza, and were headed towards soho. I was probably just tired. Chopper noticed, and decided it was time to come home. I couldn’t’ disagree too much, as we had been up there for a good five or six hours, but I couldn’t help feeling a mixture of embarrassment and disappointment. There was much more I wanted to see (he’d promised me ladyboys!) but now I’m worried that he’ll be reluctant to take me up there again. Chopper says he will, and we must wait till we have a bit more cash in our accounts anyway, but things like that make me feel insecure about myself.