I’m really starting to worry about how angry I’m getting, usually about brexit. I know I’ve mentioned this on here a few times, as well as the fact my emotional control is related to my cp, but it really is becoming scary. Whenever I see a Brexiteer on tv or on my computer, I erupt, almost instantly, My heart races and my body tenses up; I lose my grasp of reality so that they become the very epitome of evil. For a few moments I want to kill them. Last night, for instance, I came across someone online criticising Sir Patrick Stewart for saying Brexit betrayed Star trek’s vision of the future; they claimed that Star Trek was ‘Brexit to the core’. As you can imagine, reading such a moronic statement had me enraged; it was a complete misreading of everything Star Trek is about. For a few moments I could barely control my body, and got so bad Mitch came in to calm me down.
Thinking about it, it’s completely irrational. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and it did not harm anyone. Yet, to me, for a few moments, that statement seemed to insult everything I loved star trek for. Trek describes a future where humanity comes together to explore space, whereas brexit, by clinging to petty national divisions, pushes that future further away. How dare anyone make such a moronic statement. The rage and anger I felt in that moment to the woman who made it was indescribable.
But why? Why do I get so angry at people who merely have different opinions to me? I’m becoming very embarrassed by it. It’s ridiculous, probably looks infantile, and probably isn’t good for either my heart or my mental health. It’s as if I’ve become so frustrated with Brexit that anyone who supports it, no matter how remotely, momentarily becomes my bitterest enemy. Once I calm down, take a deep breath etc I’m fine, but given these eruptions of rage seem to happen so spontaneously, I’m at a loss to see how to prevent them from happening in the first place. I ought to be calm and rational, but when something triggers my rage, I’m anything but.