Political Fellatio

Say that a guy catches his girlfriend cheating on him. She screws their relationship up so badly that he’s on the verge of dumping her. What does she do but give him the most almighty blowjob she can, in the desperate hope that he’ll forget the entire incident. She hopes that the ultimately superficial, meaningless gesture will distract him so well that the whole thing will blow over.

Now say that the head of a government is caught lying to the people he governs: he is caught blatantly breaking the rules his government itself put in place to ensure everyone’s safety, and then lying about it. People are so angry about it that most want him removed from office. What does he do but announce a glitzy new policy costing millions, purporting to address the needs of those who he says have been neglected? Called, say, ”Levelling Up”, it sounds wonderful, noble and fair: it’s sneakily designed to appeal to those who feel disenfranchised while drawing attention away from the current scandal, while in reality merely partially undoing the cuts to the state his own party had put in place over the last decade. In both cases we see vapid, meaningless gestures designed to feel good and distract people, while failing to undo the damage which has been done.

Johnson and the Tories are just trying to suck our cultural cocks – don’t let them.

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