I have written on here before about how wound up I can get about certain things. If I am emotionally involved in something, I can work myself into such a state that it becomes almost a matter of life and death or the end of the world. Of course it is a consequence of my cerebral palsy: a result of the brain damage I suffered at birth, at least in part. However to others it must seem very odd indeed. I can become very aggressive, which to others must seem very immature. I can be whipped into such rages over absolutely anything, from politics to religion to other peoples opinions of Star Trek, and even to things like people using lifts when they can climb stairs.

I am of course an English cricket fan, so it’s probably safe to say that this week has been an interesting one. Needless to say the Bairstow incident made me quite furious. It seemed so opportunistic, dishonerable and unsportsmanlike: like many I felt a real scorn for the Australian cricket team. Yet while I know it’s just a game, that scorn seems like a real burning hatred in me; a profound loathing for the Australian cricket team and in turn Australia itself. This leads me to make childish, stupid statements on Facebook about things like revoking Australian independence. (“Why don’t we just cut the crap and rule Australia directly again! The Kangaroo-shagging p’tahks won’t be so cocky then, will they?”)

I don’t like having such thoughts or feelings. Australia is a great, great place: it is mind bogglingly beautiful, it’s people are friendly and welcoming. I have some great Australian friends and I would dearly love to go there again. Yet within me, the sporting rivalry between our two countries is amplified into full blown animosity in a way I cannot seem to control. Strangely such thoughts feel justified and embarrassing at the same time, especially given how arrogantly the Australians have been behaving – you should see some of the arrogant nonsense coming from them which I’ve been reading online. At the end of the day though, I know it’s all in jest: I wish I didn’t get so furious, and above all I hope  my outbursts don’t offend anyone too badly.