I went with my friends Ricardio and mike to a steam rally today. To be honest I wasn’t as impressed as I thought I would be. It all seemed rather sad and slightly annoying. The commentator on the tannoy kept referring to something called the ‘tractor movement’, which somehow really irritated me. It’s not as if tractor enthusiasts are a repressed minority fighting for equal rights. However, he lost all credibility with me when he admitted he was at a steam rally during the moon landings. I mean, who the smeg would choose looking at antiquated bits of kit over watching possibly the greatest event in human history? Mind you, the whole thing was made most entertaining by Ricardio’s jibes, who seemed just as cynical as I was.