It has been a truly magnificent day. Today was the day of communication works – a type of exhibition hosted by the school I work at, based around communication. There were all sorts of cool things there: there were stands by toby churchil, Dynovox, tellus, and so on, as well as a load of new things like music systems controlled by moving your hands below a sensor. Most of it was geared towards the LD market, but that was still pretty damn cool.

My job was to make sure the students were doing their assigned tasks, like manning the sign-in desk, but that was simple enough. I had great fun looking at all the stands, talking to the exhibitors, learning all kinds of interesting stuff. I was frequently fascinated At one point Lyn came along with Dan, and they had a great time talking to a guy about music technology. Lyn met a couple of teachers and a rough plan was hatched to get her teaching music at school, which, frankly, would be the coolest thing ever.

I got home about 3 30, tired, feeling very pleased with how things went, and in need of a cold beer. I found the books I ordered waiting for me on the living room table. All told, it’s been a great day.

I love London. To be honest I never thought I would. I’ve always lived in a small town, on an estate backing onto fields, where I rarely saw a face a colour other than white. But here I’m surrounded by peoples and cultures from all over the world: around the corner there is a shop owned by two guys from turkey; a little bit on from that is a pub run by an Italian with a woolly hat, and so on. I love the feeling of being surrounded by such diversity.

But I’m concerned that it’s becoming increasingly acceptable to question immigration. We know the economy relies, in large part, on the flow of people in and out of the country, yet the right is stirring up fear. Almost every day, I hear tosh about migrants taking British jobs. Well, perhaps they are, but that’s only because there are just as many people leaving the country as there are coming in.

The Tories want a cap on immigration, but why? There have always been immigrants into this country, be they Jews fleeing persecution, Irish fleeing famine,

Jamacans aboard the MV Empire Windrush, or Polish people seeking a better life. The people who were already here have never suffered due to their presence, but our culture has been enriched by it. Thus, given too that the number of people coming in is roughly matched by the number going out, the fear of immigrants can be expressed simply in one word: xenophobia.

Of course, the Tories don’t like this: they fool themselves that, as Iain Duncan-smith put it, ”it isn’t racist to worry about immigration”. IDS was wrong, as both are born of the fear of the Other, of difference. They worry that our culture will somehow be diluted by immigration, but instead it is enriched. Brown got into seriously hot water for calling a woman a bigot when he thought his mic was off;* while it shows him to be a bit of a hypocrite, in the car brown was speaking the truth. That woman is a bigot, for her fear is irrational and panders to the most base of instincts.

I hope the tide changes back. I hope people realise sometime soon that immigration is good, and diversity is something to be cherished. I hope they realise that to utter the words ”I’m not racist, but…’ is a hypocrisy. And I hope middle class Tories stop talking about the immigration ‘problem’ around their dining tables while fooling themselves that they are still progressive and tolerant.

*I bet you any money Sky deliberately left that microphone on to frame him, by the way.

In Woolwich today I popped into a charity shop and picked up a book on Mesoamerica for a few quid. I’m not sure why, but my bibliophilic tendencies have returned recently. It could be connected with having to return to work on my thesis, but I have been thinking about books and wanting to read. Yet it has effected me in the oddest of ways: the other day, I decided to look up the biggest book I could find on one subject. This turned out to be Martin Gilbert’s biography of Winston

Churchill, with 8 main volumes (each about 800 pages) and 16 companion volumes, each containing thousands of pages of source material. Now, I have no intention of buying this gigantic book – at the rate I read, I’d be dead before I finish it – but it impressed me anyway.

Churchill aside, this morning I ordered a couple of (somewhat shorter) texts I need to work on for my thesis off the net. Not having a decent library or book store around rather sucks, but it was about time that I, as a cinephile, bought my own copy of Keathley’s The wind In The Trees anyway. They should come in a few days, so to keep my thirst for the written word satisfied, I bought an interesting-looking tome on the Americas before Columbus. When I got home, I settled down to read. It’s written in a chatty style common in populist American history books, and partly reads like a travelogue, but I was instantly fascinated. Far from being just a realm of hunter-gatherer, the Americas before Columbus may have been far more populated and complex than previously thought. I spent a good couple of hours just reading.

I think I need to re-engage with art and literature; to start reading again, thinking again. I’m not sure why I feel like this – it’s not as if I stopped thinking, and perhaps I’m being too pretentiously self-critical – but I have missed the feel of a book in my hands.

Blimey! I was just lying on the sofa watching the news, having just done a couple of hours on my thesis, when I saw a report of a guy herranging CaMoron on inclusion. It took me quite by surprise. Apparently, the man was angry because his kid had been excluded from mainstream school and had to go to a special school. Rather amusingly, CaMoron was trying to claim that he agreed with the guy, trying to tell the guy his usual speel about ‘reversing the trend’, but the guy was telling CaMoron what he had put in his own manifesto. He pointed out that, under the Tories, the closure of special schools would be reversed.

Doesn’t this say a lot about CaMoron? Trying to be all things to all people, pretending he’s some kind of champion for disabled people, yet actually intending to repress us. He even distorts what he has in his own manifesto. The guy is a joke – a shallow, despicable joke. Inclusion must proceed wherever possible – my voluntary. work has made me more certain of this, although it has made me more aware of the problems involved. It is not a simple problem, but what is certain is that we cannot reverse the trend towards inclusion.

I was just watching Brown speaking to the royal college of nurses, and I must admit I was very impressed. He paid tribute to the NHS. I agree with him that it truly is a great institution, and the best insurance system in the world. It is a system worth fighting for and protecting. But, the question is, how do we protect it against the recession?

We all know that, these days, the economy needs injecting with money to keep it afloat. As far as I can tell, this can be done in one of three ways: raise taxes, cut services, or both. The Tories want to stop the so-called job tax, and cut services instead. The planned rise in tax would the economy would inject 6 billion more quid, meaning services wouldn’t need to be cut so drastically. So, basically, the Tories intend to make us all suffer just so they can keep tax lower for the select few. This is why I do not believe the nhs is safe under CaMoron, as such cuts would inevitably effect it, despite his claims.

Sorry I keep going on about politics. This isn’t supposed to be a political blog. I’m just petrified that, on may the seventh, CaMoron will enter number ten, cut spending, and turn this recession into a depression.

Is it illegal for shops with two or more floors not to have a lift? If it isn’t it blooming well should be. I was in Woolwich yesterday, and I thought I’d go into WH smiths to look for some books. I need a couple for my work as well as for pleasure. So I went in, only to find there were no books, only magazines and sweets. I was beginning to wonder when smiths stopped being a book store, when I saw a sign: the books were upstairs. I thought: ‘fair enough’ and began to look for a lift…

Only, I couldn’t find one. thinking that there must be one, I asked an assistant. ‘Sorry sir’ she said ‘we don’t have a lift’. I must say that I was taken aback. Surely under the DDA that’s illegal, isn’t it? Okay it might have been an old building, but it wouldn’t have been hard to install a lift. I left the shop feeling quite disappointed.

If you think about it, from a certain perspective, CaMoron has already failed. I’ve always believed that he wanted to be the next Tony Blair. Look at his style, the way he presents himself: young, vivacious, energetic, forever claiming that his was the team with the new ideas and fresh impetus. It’s clear that he wants to emulate Blair, and do what Blair did to the Tories in 97. if you look at the polls, I think that it’s pretty clear that that’s not gonna happen. The 1997 pre-election polls show huge support for new labour; polls today still show us heading for a hung parliament.

This means that CaMoron has essentially failed in winning over our hearts and minds. The Tories have not convinced us that they are fit to govern by a long shot.

Look at the debate last night: when asked about Europe, CaMoron got his butt kicked. He was shown to be a euroskeptic with alliances to far right European parties. And when clegg pointed out to him that, despite his open-minded pretences, the parties he’s in bed with are homophobic anti-Semitic climate-change deniers, he evaded the issue completely. No wonder he hasn’t won over the electorate: we can all see he’s unfit to rule the country. CaMoron needs to be winning these debates – I thought he would be. But despite the idiotic claims of the Murdoch controlled media, he is being shown to be the hypocritical liar he is.

On a brighter note, I kind of want a hung parliament. I think a lib-lab coalition would be great. Brown saved us from recession, but he’s old; I’d like to see brown stay as PM, but with clegg’s dynamism as his second in command. That would be the fresh start we need without having to go back to the oppression of the Tories.

I ad forgotten how witty, clever and anarchic my friends Chris and Steve are. They came to visit today – they seem to be doing a hair-brained tour of Britain this week. Forgive my language, but it was fucking awesome to see them. They both seem possessed of this anarchic sense of humour which you often find in – and here you must forgive a touch of snobbery – clever people. I was showing them the local animal park, and we were walking and talking, and they were referencing things as diverse as Albert Camus and Red Dwarf. They also have a twisted sense of humour.

It has been ages since I saw them, and even longer since I saw them together. Back at uni, they rented a house together, and I used to go round to theirs for drinks once in a while. In fact, if memory serves, I first met Steve the first time I went to a brandies disco dressed up, and from then on I’ve classed him as one of my best friends. We were saying, though, how hard it has been to keep in contact with everyone: it’s been ages since anyone heard from Emma, for example. That strikes me as very sad indeed.

Well, the guys are in town for the next two days, and we plan to hook up again. We parted company far too soon. I’m sorry if my blog has become more diary-like recently; I’ll write more analytical entries soon. it’s just that I tend to write about things which are on my mind, and it seems that Steve has barged his way to the front of my cerebral cortex.

I have a bit of good news today: last night, after blogging I received my examiners report, and it wasn’t quite as bad as I feared. I have quite a bit of work to do, but at lweast they didn’t use the words ‘crap,’ ‘written by an idiot’ or ‘doesn’t know what he’s talking about’. I feel confident that, given time, I can put it right. The problem is, I could do with a half decent library nearby. My sister-in-law Yan told me how to get to the British Library, which would be ideal if it was a little closer. Before I go there I’ll check out the local library in Charlton housel the problem with that is you have to traipse through a tea room full of old biddies. Should be interesting; I’ll let you know how iget on.

I went back to school today after the Easter holiday. I spent most of the day there, uni still not having got back to me about my master’s. Preparation began in proper for Communication works, a conference-cum-exhibition held at school about AAC technology. I have been set the task of organising a class to do stuff like making sure everyone signs in and gets to the right place. Nobody seems to have told them that my organisation skills are practically non existent. Luckily, a few of the staff are helping too, so we should be okay.

I think the students I work with are getting used to me. The teachers are staring to let me speak to the whole class, telling them to ‘listen to what matt has to say’. I think they think I can be a useful role-model and tutor. For my part, I hope so. Mind you, I and the staff are going to have to be pretty firm if we’re going to pull this conference thing off, and my aim is to function as a firm but friendly influence.

Lyn and I had pretty much our first argument this evening, and like most young couples, it was over money. To be fair, Lyn was in the right – she does pay for most things; but I was maintaining I pay for at least some stuff. Things were getting rather heated; I folded my arms in a huff. But then tried to fold hers in ironic imitation, and I, then she, burst out chuckling. She couldn’t quite do it; the situation was defused, and I gave her a hug. CP has it’s advantages when it comes to arguments.

I suppose it has been one of those days, or two of them rather. Got an email from uni yesterday afternoon saying the examiners think my thesis still needs work. I suppose that’s ok, but when you think it’s all done and dusted it’s rather depressing to hear otherwise. I was in a bit of a bad mood yesterday evening, occasioning a solo trip to the pub. Interestingly, though, in there I met a fellow with links to the local branch of Dan, who could be a very good contact.

I made it back in time to watch the big political debate. I didn’t concentrate that much, but I guess I agree with today’s papers that Clegg got the upper hand. I really like clegg: I think he has real charisma, not the forced, acted charisma of CaMoron. Did you notice how CaMoron had a go at the Direct Payments scheme? Another reason not to vote for him!

I’m still feeling kind of low, but I suppose it’s not the end of the world. It’ll keep me busy anyway. Mind you, at this rate I’ll still be working on my thesis when they call the next election.

We have had the builders in this week, by which I mean two of Paula’s family. Lyn had a great idea of building a conservatory, and a couple of months ago my neighbours set about facilitating that. I have been watching them, off and on; I always have liked watching people make things, be it my brothers with their lego to mum with her cooking. As a kid I always liked to watch dad make stuff from wood. The builders in question seem to be progressing well: the concrete floor has been laid, although boomba decided to walk over it when it was drying, so it has a row of paw prints across it.

I think the conservatory will be awesome once it’s complete. We need a tad more room. Although, for now, I’m quite content to watch them build it.

I just watched the conservative manifesto launch. I was a good boy and managed not to throw anything at the t.v. to be honest, CaMoron came across as quite approachable, and to start with I got into it a bit. But then I thought: ‘what is he actually saying?’ the answer is, not much.

CaMoron talks of the big state being replaced by big society, but what does he mean? What is the state, what is government if not an extension of the people? And what is society, and how will he empower it? How will he give regular people the impetus he speaks of without introducing government initiatives? How will this all be regulated? Or is government going to step back, the result of which will be an unregulated free-for-all. I, too, believe power should lie with the hands of the people, but for me that means democracy and working with government, not some fuzzy idea about big society. It almost seems he’s trying to repackage left-wing ideas of comunity and common good in a conservative indevidualist box; what utter nonsense. And as for things like more support for marriage, isn’t that indicative of a party stuck in the past with outmoded views?

In short, when you think about it, the entire speech was self-contradictory garbled nonsense. CaMoron is trying to occupy the centre, yet still pander to his party’s right wing roots. He cannot be in two places at once, resulting in the hollow rubbish I just saw.

We were just watching TV, and I saw an advert for marmite. It invited everyone to vote for ‘the Love Party’, with a bunch of crazy-sounding pledges. Of course, it was a spoof – there is no such party. But what if there was? And what if everyone voted for them? Rather like getting Rage against the Machine to number 1 at Christmas, it would be a great way of showing dissatisfaction with current politics. Let’s face it: although brown saved us from economic catastrophe, he’s pretty much ineffective and past it. Yet it’s either him or an aristocratic asshole who’ll screw over the working classes in favour of his rich friends. Thus, maybe voting for a spoof party would send a powerful message to the political class. Okay, we once had the Monster Raving Loony Party for that, but perhaps what we need is a more up-to-date movement, in keeping with the media-saturated times.

Our PA every Sunday is Marta, who, I think, has family in Poland. She told me what happened to the polish government yesterday; how incredibly tragic. Marta doesn’t seem too perturbed by it, although she’s been rather quiet.

I can’t help wondering what would happen if something similar happened here. What if Mr. brown and Mr. CaMoron, along with the chief of the armed forces and the archbishop of Canterbury, suddenly died? Are there contingency plans? Who would be in charge? Does the queen take over? That might be cool. The queen seems to know what she’s doing, and she doesn’t irritate me as much as the others. Better yet, why don’t we get David Attenborough to take over?

Okay, I’m going off on too much of a tangent. Still, it is quite phenomenal, very sad news. I think me and Lyn will be going easy on Marta today.

I know it has nothing to do with disability, but, following on from a conversation Lyn john and I had last night, I’d like to point out that sir David Attenborough has not, in fact, retired. He’s currently working on two new series, one due out later this year, and another in 2011. I’m a huge fan of his, and finding this out has me squealing for joy. He is a great man, whose legacy in broadcasting is probably without comparison. I mean, how does he get the energy?

Link

It has been another glorious day – bright and sunny. Spring has sprung indeed. We spent the evening outside, talking, drinking, listening to the radio. Lyn’s station of choice is Radio Caroline – the modern commercial incarnation of the legendary radio station. I just thought, until this evening, that it was just another commercial radio station, full of adverts, commercial, and therefore crap. Yet something tonight made me think again.

They played Hendrix – a full Hendrix track, complete and unbroken. It lasted over ten minutes, and I was impressed. I must stress I love thee bbc, and think public funding is the way to go, but what I heard tonight made me wonder if there might be something to be said for commercial radio. Might it free one up from the constraints of having to please everyone, so that deejays are free to play what they whish? On the other hand, commercial radio means deejays have to break their shows up every twenty minutes to appease their commercial backers. I usually favour the BBC format, but now I can see that other ways of broadcasting might ave their advantages. One mustn’t be doogmatic about such things.

I guess there are pros and cons on both sides. Tonight, however, opened my eyes up to radio Caroline and to stations like her – to play a Hendrix track in full is surely something to be respected. I think Caroline might have a new fan.

I noticed this morning tthat I posted yesterday’s entry twice somehow – oopps!

It has been quite a day. Rather an excellent day, in fact. Lyn had an appointment up in London; she needed to take the tube up to Westminster then take a taxi to her clinic, so I couldn’t resist going with her as far as Westminster. Thus, at about two this afternoon, under a beautiful blue sky, I found myself inn parliament square with about two hours to kill. I felt great.

I don’t think I have ever been there before, and certainly not under my own power. The palace of Westminster looked magnificent in the sunshine, and I loved exploring it’s grounds. I was quite surprised to find a statue of Abraham Lincoln there, but found it satisfying – he is, after all, one of the world’s great leaders. Mind you, I’d like to see a statue of Gandhi or Mandela there.

Anyway, I had an idea: I decided to ask the policeman outside parliament where the Tory offices were, and he obligingly gave me directions. After a little zoom, I came to conservative HQ. there I hesitated – what was I going to say? I went in anyway. However, in there I was largely ignored; I was politely informed that nobody was there to come down to speak to me. It just goes to show that, if you don’t have any money or there are no cameras about, the Tories don’t give a shit about you. However, then something cool happened: Brian May came in! I turned around only to come face to face with one of the greatest rock stars ever. I turned into a jabbering wreck, and shook his hand. He said ‘god bless’ and I left. Wait till I tell dad about that.

After that I left, returning briefly to warn them that Osborne’s plans would cause a depression, but they ignored me. Don’t say I didn’t tell them. After that I had another look around, before hooking back up with Lyn and john, and, after a beer in a pub opposite parliament, we came home. It’s been a hell of a day.

I was just in co-op, buying some bits and bobs, where I caught sight of the Express, and it almost brought me up in palpitations. The headline read: ”’4 weeks to save Britain. 5 more years of brown and we’re finished.” Now, I’m a champion of free speech, but how the fuck can this so-called paper print such blatantly biased crap? Surely the purpose of a paper is to report the news, not to try to tell people what to think. It’s not the fact that it was tory which pisses me off the most, but the fact tthat it was so blatantly one-sided. I cannot believe that they got away with printing such demonstrably untrue bull. Moreover, how can anyone read such bull, and be so deluded that they call themselves intelligent?

Okay, that last comment was uncalled for, but I’m getting more and more worked up about politics these days. The prospect of CaMoron being prime minister frankly sickens me.

Anyone reading this probably already knows the main news story of the day: brown has confirmed the date of the election. I could launch into an anti-Tory rant, particularly as today I learned from John, our PA, what CaMoron plans to do to the BBC, but I think I’ll spare you that tonight.

Instead, I’ll send you over to Lyn’s blog, here. Lyn doesn’t blog very often, so when she does it’s a sure sign that something has got her rieled. It seems she got some grief from some guy in the states, who laughed at her when she said she typed with her nose. Lyn is one of the most amazing people I know, and I love her deeply, so for this guy to mock her really posses me off. The net should be open and tolerant, yet it seems that it can be as judgemental and narrow-minded as anywhere else.

It has not even started yet, and I’m already fed up of this election. It’s not as if I’ve lost interest in politics, although I can’t blame the 90% of people who have; I’m just fed up of all the bullshit that’s flying about. I know nobody is bullshit free, but most of it seems to be coming from the Tories. Are we really expected too believe that to cut now would get us out of this recession. We need a slow, steady recovery, not some knee-jerk reaction. To cut now would mean the Tories can cut tax, which would mean a cut in services; this means that rich people would pay less tax while we who rely on public sector services suffer. In short, CaMoron is helping out his rich backers. He says he wants the charity sector to take up the slack, which, as I wrote a week or so ago, just doesn’t add up.

Tory plans for schools are equally laughable. They want to enable everyone who wants to to set up a school. Sounds good on a superficial level, doesn’t it, but think about it: such schools will draw teachers and resources away from existing schools where they are needed. The result will be an increasing standards gap where the rich once again get the best education. It is elitism and discrimination by the back door; a return to the class-based systems of the sixties. Their sort of elitism does not and has never worked.

As for the Tories being the party of the NHS, give me a fucking break. Conservatism is all about the free market, not nationalised services. This is one of CaMoron’s biggest lies; how can he make such a claim?

Indeed, how can this man pretend to be forward thinking and open when he has homophobes in his shadow-cabinet? How can he try to blame the recession on brown when it was the fault of the banks? How can he say he’s the man to bring us out of recession when cutting now would probably cause a depression? And how on earth can anyone be stupid enough to consider voting for the slimy little liar? That’s the question that has really got me fed up.

I spent Easter with my family in north London. We sort of all converged on my grandmother’s house in north London: my parents from Cheshire, Luke and Yan from muswell hill, and my cousin Cyril from Newcastle. It was great to see them, and I realised I had missed them. It was great to hear everyone talking again – they’re mostly scientists so mostly the talk was about molecules and enzymes and NMR tubes. Mind you, after church last night, dad told us a bit of the history of the bible, and about how, far from being a rigid document, it used to change and was debated over by scholars for thousands of years. I’d forgotten how learned my father can be when he wants to.

I’m back now with Lyn, after having a delicious roast at my grandmother’s. it was awesome to sit with everyone in her kitchen again, but now, with the sun shining over south London, it’s time to spend some time with my girlfriend,

Tonight I think I’ll just draw your attention here, to a blog of a good friend of mine. I know jenny C from university, and we shared one memorable trip to a Godard exhibition in Paris in our third year. That was the trip she and Steve got together, and according to facebook, they’re still a couple. Jenny now teaches in Scotland; I’m not sure what Steve does now, but it probably involves some random acts of rudeness. Anyway, go look.

Lyn has fixed the internet. Our connection went down yesterday afternoon, when Lyn decided to update it, and she didn’t get it working till this morning, I did, however, get online briefly late last night, when I saw I now have a date for my viva: april 22nd. I’m already very nervous about it, although I did reread the first chapter of my thesis yesterday and found that it’s not as bad as I thought. Okay, there are a few minor things which I’d like to put right, but I’m pretty pleased with it.

I can’t help wondering about a comment I got to a blog entry a few days ago. How would I have fared if I had gone to a school like the one I volunteer at? As liza put it: ” I wonder what sort of education you might have received in todays special school sector where the majority of the children have PMLD.” If we put aside the fact that my parents played a huge role in educating me, where would I be now had I attended such a school? It is quite possible, I’d guess, that they would have presumed I had learning difficulties, especially without the attention my parents paid in getting me walking and talking at a reasonable level. I have a theory that such diagnoses are often self-fulfilling. Tell a kid he has LD and why should he continue to push himself? Would he not simply play the role he’s been cast? And why should anyone expect anything else of that child? Thus, having been told I hadd learning difficulties, I might have given up trying to learn, trying to push myself. I wouldn’t have done A-Levels or gone to university. I would have never met people like Lyn or Charlie; hell, I might have stopped trying to communicate altogether. There would certainly be no thesis or no vivas.

I admit this is a particularly dystopic view of some alternate universe, one which never happened, yet had circumstances been different, I find it a frightening prospect that this might have been my reality.