Far be it for me to revel in the misfortune of others [pause for parental and fraternal sniggers] but it is rather gratifying two of the people I hate the most take such a kicking this week. I was amazed when Murdoch closed News of the Word on Thursday evening, and startled when Coulson was arrested yesterday. Serious doubt must now be cast on the reputations of both David CaMoron and Rupert Murdoch.

Yet shortly after the news broke on Thursday about NOTW, my amazement and mirth turned into concern. It is true that it was little more than a gossip-spewing rag, but it didn’t have to be shut down. As many more knowledgeable commentators have pointed out, this closure was entirely tactical, as it paves the way for both a seven day sun and the Newscorp Takeover of Sky. In effect, then, Murdoch as sacrificed a paper, many of whose reporters had nothing to do with phone hacking, in order to tighten his grip on the UK Media. Moreover, many of the execs who were indeed responsible for phone hacking have kept their jobs. Surely this seems very dodgy: Rupert Murdoch is playing games with the UK media. It just goes to show how powerful and manipulative this man is. It also raises several questions which I do not know the answer to, but which leave a nasty taste in my mouth.

And what about David CaMoron’s involvement in all this? This morning he seems to be off the hook, yet the fact remains he employed a man now charged with the most underhand of practices. He is also an associate of Rebekah Brooks, one of Murdoch’s chief lieutenants who, despite her involvement in the NOTW scandal, has kept her job. He also is good friends with Matthew Freud, who is married to Murdoch’s daughter Elisabeth. They’re all part of the so called ”chipping Norton set”. In short, they’re all part of the same clique – a very powerful clique which seems able to play us all for fools and seems almost above the law.

CaMoron will, of course, keep his job. After thirteen years in opposition, the Tories won’t relinquish power that easily. More importantly, though, he will now allow Murdoch to take control of sky in return for his support. The combination of the Tories and the most powerful media company on the planet seems a very frightening prospect indeed. What all this will lead to I cannot say, but Mudoch is now in a position to utterly control the british media, and he will have the governments backing in doing so; in return, the tories will have Murdoch’s backing. Something is afoot and it doesn’t sound right.

I just want to direct you here to an excellent blog entry from simon Stevens about the real effects on the big society. While I have a slightly different take on it, I completely aagree that it’s essentially a 19th century policy wrapped in a 21st century package, and will hurt people like simon and myself.

I have always known that Rupert Murdoch is a scumbag, so it’s rather pleasing to watch one of his papers being exposed for being the seedy rag it is. Like almost everyone else, I think phone hacking is deplorable. I’ve been watching the coverage of this story on the beeb, but I’m considering flipping over to sky news for a bit, to see how they’re covering it; I might also check out the news of the world too. My bet is they both will have just ignored the story.

I’ve noticed, however, that there isn’t much being made of the links between the paper and our current government. CaMoron’s chief spin-doctor, Andy Coulson, was once the editor of NOTW, and probably commissioned some of this phone hacking himself. Does this not strike anyone else as dodgy? Even without the current scandal, the fact that CaMoron is prepared to employ the former editor of such a piece of filth is surely indicative of the type of guy he is: even more than Blair, he’s obsessed by his image, and will employ pornographers to help him present it. Even if CaMoron didn’t know about the phone hacking – which I frankly doubt – he knew of Coulson’s past, and the type of paper he produced. Everyone is rightly condemning the News of the World for it’s reprehensible actions, but some of the shit must also wash on to CaMoron. For all his nice-guy image, he’s as scummy and puerile as the people he employs.

It gives me a great deal of pleasure to send you all here, to a review of Crewdson’s debut album, Gravity. The review is glowing, but what makes it so incredible is that it’s by the BBC. It would seem my friend hugh is bound for great things; I just hope he remembers to invite me when he goes to those celebrity-packed parties.

I was thinking earlier about the political right; in recent weeks I’ve come into contact with people with some far right views, and I think I need to mull them over. Before I go on, though, I should point out that this is unconnected with my recent musings on Tolkien: although his work has been used by those on the far right to support their views, to claim that Tolkien was somehow writing about racial politics is to gravely and deliberately misinterpret his work.

Anyway, the question I ask myself is, what do I make of the far right? I’m not talking about the Tories, who, frankly, are bad enough, but people like members of the BNP and EDL; people who seem revolted by almost all I hold dear. People who still think black people are somehow different to and inferior to white people, that disabled babies should be killed at birth, and that transsexual people are somehow degenerate. People who rail against the progress society has made towards sexual and ethnic equality over the last fifty years, and then hypocritically claim that they are being discriminated against due to their views. For a long time, I thought it was best to think what they liked, and that if I was entitled to my views, they were entitled to theirs.

This is, I think, the view taken by most on the liberal left. But I’m beginning to think we must engage with such people. it is my conviction that this is an argument we can win, as we have logic on our side. I know this sounds arrogant, but I really believe that if you engage with the far right on any intellectual level, their views quickly fall apart. For example, the entire concept of race can easily be shown to be an artificial construction by pointing to genetics, history and sociology. I also refuse to let the idea that disabled people or transexuals go uncontested. The far right is diminishing as, time and time again, it’s arguments have been shown to be baseless, but I think there are a few far-right extremists left who continue to spread their moronic yet dangerous views. Rather than letting them get on with it, I think its time those with the inclination engaged with such views and demonstrated how intellectually baseless they are.

Almost exactly twenty-four hours ago I was sitting where I am now, at my computer, about to go out. Little did I know that I was in for quite a ride. Dominic had proposed we go up to the Tate, just for a look around and where he could meet a couple of his friends, so we went. Now, I usually try to record the most major happenings of my life on here in order to give people a taste of what life is like for a guy with CP, but today I’m not even going to attempt it. I’ll just say that, when I got up this morning, Dom and two girls were sleeping in a tent in the back garden. There is, of course, quite a good reason why they were there – or at least why Dom was there – but it is rather complicated, involving my need to get up early for a hospital appointment and a rather unexpected party. Make of that what you will, but I must just stress that, for once, it was not my idea!

Stuff like this never happened with my parents.

After prattling on about it for so long in my last entry, last night I decided to give the Lord of the Rings a watch. It had been ages since I had seen it; we have the special collectors extended version, so I only got through the first half of the first film before the DVD had to be changed, by which time Mitchel had already gone so the next sixth will have to wait. It occurred to me, however, that this is indeed a remarkable bit of film, and Peter Jackson tried his best to live up to the grandeur of Tolkien. Other directors would, no doubt, have condensed the film into one more marketable piece, leaving much of the rich detail. I dread to think what the Walt Disney company would have turned it into. While I disagree with some of Jackson’s choices and the way in which he changes things slightly, I am glad that it was he who made these films.

However, that was not the point I was trying to make last time. Whoever made them, the lord of the rings as a cultural entity has changed: it is no longer a book read by geeks and people with beards, but a mainstream film. I think in a way this changes the text philosophically, and part of me wishes it had remained the book I knew as a child. Part of me thinks that the magnificent work of JRR Tolkien should have stayed as it was, on the page, rather than being brought into the shallow world of mainstream cinema.

Yet I realised last night that this is not quite the case. Jackson did not simply make a movie; in a way, I think Lord of the rings is an experimental piece of cinema. It is far longer than any other mainstream film I can think of, and it is in three parts. It stands apart from other films, and is special in it’s own right. It has a rather low pace, which is a quality Jackson deliberately took from the book. It is clear that Jackson and his studio respected Tolkien’s work enough to make them into something special and unique, and not just another film. As I wrote here, an adaptation of a book is an interpretation of it, and it is natural that the two will differ. But Jackson clearly did his best to keep the grandeur of the books; Like Tolkiens prose, the films are slow and detailed, and I also think the fact that they take time and considerable effort to get through reflects the complexity of Tolkien’s writing. I am relieved that, if these books had too be adapted for the screen, the result is something as special as the original in it’s own right.

It has been quite some time since I wrote anything on here about film, and probably even longer since I wrote anything about Tolkien. (It grieves me to realise how intertwined those two subjects now seem, but it now appears that Middle Earth could be seen as much a creation of Peter Jackson as professor Tolkien.) A few days ago, for some reason or another, I began to think about the Lord of the Rings again: it’s definitely time Lyn saw the trilogy, and I have a hankering to watch it with her. These stories have been with me from my childhood, since my father started reading the books to me and my brothers at bedtime. As such they have a deeply personal value for me, which is why I want to share them with Lyn. Since I can’t read the books to her myself, watching the film adaptations with her seems a good alternative.

But it recently occurs o me that therein lies a problem. The Lord of The Rings no longer has the status it had when I first encountered it. It is not a book written by an obscure Oxford don, or a would conjured through my father’s deep, comforting voice; it is now a massive, multi Oscar winning film, with figures sold with every happy meal and a thousand asinine Playstation games associated with it. Don’t get me wrong: I think Jackson did an excellent job with these films, and I think, under the circumstances, he was as faithful as he could be. But these films are not the lord of the rings: the lord of the rings is a work of literature, in a fairly archaic, obscure style, with footnotes and endnotes and appendices. It is something I adore, and I don’t think any film could match it. Yet a film – or three films rather – have taken it’s place in culture. Culturally, the two are synonymous, so we now have kids calling themselves Lord of the Rings fans who do not know who Tom Bombadil is, or how many strings were on the tipsy cat’s fiddle, but can get to level twelve of ”The war in The North”.

All this occurred to me this morning, when I was looking for news of The Hobbit Adaptation. Until now, I had been really looking forward to this film, but then I began to consider how drastically Jackson seems to be diverging from the text. How, for example, is he going to get Frodo into these films? Indeed, as is stated in this article, Jackson seems to be making what is essentially a fairly gentle kids book into an epic saga akin to it’s sequel. When I first read that, I thought, for the first time, ”Oh god, it’s gonna suck”. It is clear that this is no longer the work of JRR Tolkien, but a work of the market, made for the fans of the Lord of the Rings films who know nothing of the books and expect the hobbit to be filled with massive battles and Legolas and Gimli making witty one line gags about dwarf-tossing. I must admit this makes me somewhat angry: I once revered these books above all others – they were a huge part of my childhood – but the way in which Tolkien’s massive work of creation has now become something else, yet another piece of harry potter/star wars mass-market drivel, strikes me as sad, and I feel The Hobbit films will send it even further down that road.

I have nothing against film. I love it, I study it, I see myself as a cinephile. Yet cinephilia in the correct sense, the discourse first exemplified in Cahiers du Cinema in the fifties and sixties, was always a questioning type of love. They too had very similar debates over the relationship between film and literature, especially in relation to authorship – the love of film is a love which can open film up to such questions. Jackson proved me wrong before; the lord of the rings films were an astonishing work which still seem influential. Yet in making those films, Jackson brought these texts into another realm, no longer a cherished childhood memory, no longer something personal, but something open to the pressures of the mass market. In doing so he has changed them irrevocably, destroyed them and replaced them with something different. I fear this will be especially applicable to the hobbit: with Lord of the rings, Jackson had less pressure from the market because it didn’t know what to expect, but with the Hobbit, the audience is expecting certain things which Jackson must produce. It expects big battles, cate blanchet and things it can make a video game from. Thus the hobbit must be changed to appease the game-players and the hoards raised on post Star Wars filmic dross, which means it can never be a truly faithful adaptation. This is, of course, symptomatic of what film has become – no longer an art form but a medium for showing people some spectacular images while depriving them of their money. George Lucas was responsible for this when he made star wars in 1977. Now the books I loved as a child have been introduced into this puerile world, so that now the lord of the rings is no longer the sprawling creation of an oxford professor, or the book which brought about my love for the English countryside, but just another film filled with big battles and special effects. Although the films could have been much worse, and are special in their own right, the very fact of their creation changes the status of the texts. They are now as much a creation of Jackson as of Tolkien, and I think they have lost something fundamental in the process. After all, Tolkien’s writing was all about the language he used, an aspect of the text which does not translate to film. Thus to me the lord of the rings, as a cultural artefact, can never be what it was; in making these films, Jackson changed the very status of the text forever, and it almost feels like something of my childhood has gone with it.

I did not have a problem with this until now, as I fear the changes Jackson will have to make to the text of the Hobbit will be so vast that it will deviate too much from the spirit of the original book and become something else, not just an adaptation but a completely different text, taking the place of the original in cultural terms. I do not mean this in an absolute sense, as Tolkien’s novels will always endure; but the films were so big that the books are now synonymous with the film, and I think that alters the status of the text, for me losing something personal and dear in the process.

What Professor Tolkien himself would say about this I dread to think, but I cannot help but wonder if Jackson has ever had a pint at the Eagle and Child.

You may recall me posting this entry back in may about Claire Khaw, the BNP member who advocates the killing of disabled babies. Those who are interested will be pleased to know that Khaw has now been suspended from the party for her comments. It seems even that bunch of moronic thugs draws the line somewhere. You know, I’ve been trying to monitor what Khaw has been saying over the last few weeks, and it strikes me that this is a seriously disturbed woman. She admires Gadaffi, and despises women’s liberation. She seems to want to take the UK back to some mythical past where everyone was white and women stayed at home and did the washing. I know this is another ad Hominem entry, but I find myself baffled that such people still exist, refusing to admit that they lost the argument long, long ago.

It is starting to rain again. I just popped out for a short drive and I could feel it in the air. While I was at the local branch of Co-Op, though, I noticed the front page of the Daily Mail. I often scan the headlines while I’m there, and the Mail’s headline usually annoys me, but it’s front page today takes the biscuit. It reads: ”Defy the Strike Bullies”. When I first saw it I was astonished.. I had always thought the newspapers were supposed to report the news; the angle at which they approached stories could vary, obviously, but on the whole they are supposed to report the facts. The daily Mail has gone far beyond reporting today – it seems to be giving orders to it’s readers, and by branding the strikers bullies, it looses the last semblance of impartiality and is printing mere opinion. This is not what the press is for, and to me this is a clear breach of ethics. Never have I seen a more biased headline – even Fox news, which is about as fair and balanced as Mein Kampf, draws the line at telling its viewers what to do in such blatant, one-sided terms. This headline disgusts me, the Daily Mail disgusts me, and I now question its right to print. Freedom of the press is one thing, but this isn’t journalism, it’s using a paper to tell people what to think and how to act, and it has no place in any democracy.

I do not like making ad Hominem attacks on my blog; it has brought me a lot of trouble in the past, and strikes me as bad blogging. But this entry I think I’ll make an exception. I want to address some comments I came across today, or, rather, yesterday by now, made by my friend James. He states two things: first, that the strike by teachers ” is at best illogical: at worst, anti-intellectual” and that the private schools – by which I assume he means public schools – wouldn’t strike, because they are

”decent”. When I first read these words, I was aghast, firstly at how anyone in my age range and peer group could be dogmatic enough to defend what this government is doing over a teacher’s right to fair wages and pensions, and secondly at how anyone could be so pompous. James’ sentiments imply that he regards state schools as somehow indecent, and public schools as of superior quality and breeding. The reason why teachers from public schools might not be going on strike tomorrow is because they charge their students, or rather their parents, fees – fees which the vast majority of people cannot afford. This leads one to assume James believes that schools which do not charge fees, and thus the kids who attend them, are not ‘decent’ and somehow lesser than those that do. This may only be a simple statement, but the arrogance behind it sickens me. I doubt it’s author has any compassion for the public sector workers whose jobs are threatened, or the teachers forced to strike from the job they love through fear of losing their pension. All that matters to people who make such statements is not the education of young people but maintaining the Tory worldview is propagated: that the cuts are vital, strikers are selfish and those who have money are superior – or should that be more ‘decent’ than those who do not. Do they not have a right to defend their wellbeing, or should they be forced to accept whatever menial wage they get and be grateful for it, out of a sense of duty? I am sorry this is a bit of an ad Hominem attack on a guy I otherwise respect, by and large, but such views must not go unchallenged. I for one believe that the strikes later today, and the many that will hopefully follow, are vital in telling the government that we do not want their ideologically inspired cuts. People deserve fair wages.

I just stumbled across this and flew into spastic shrieks of joy: the Monty Python team are apparently reuniting to make a film, this time based on the memoirs of Graham Chapman. To be honest, all I would still definitely call myself a fan, I had not thought about python or seen anything pythonic in ages; I was just browsing the BBC website when I saw the link. I also strongly suspected it was now part of history. Nevertheless, the team, apart from Eric Idle, are reuniting to make a film. Whether it will be any good or not remains to be seen, of course, but if there is a chance they still possess the ability to reduce me to uncontrollable fits of giggles, then I can’t wait to see this film.

It is odd how things turn out sometimes, and how one’s words can often be strangely prophetic. In my last entry, I wrote about how London could be seen as a chaotic maelstrom where you never quite knew what was going to happen. Soon after posting that entry, I decided to go for a roll. First I decided to go see chopper, as he and I had things to discuss, but he wasn’t in, so I decided to go over to Greenwich. I’d heard there was a fair on there, and I wanted to check it out.

When I got there, I saw that there was indeed some sort of festival, but to be honest it seemed pretty mundane. I was going through the indoor market, thinking about returning home, when I suddenly saw a familiar face, then another. Hugh and his friends were there. At first I didn’t quite believe it was him, but sure enough it was. We talked a bit, and decided to go see an acrobatic performance together. Now, at this point I should point out that this performance in itself was blog worthy: it was a mix of contortion, balance and rope tricks, but the performers were a mixture of able-bodied and disabled people. There was a guy in a chair, for example, with incredible strength, who could hold two women over his head with one hand; another woman, of limited growth, climbed a rope and did amazing tricks. It was very cool.

After this performance it was time to head home, but before we parted, Hugh mentioned he had a gig in Deptford the next day – yesterday – and invited me along. I thought it would be something Lyn would be into too, so I mentioned it to her when I got home. We went, of course, and I’m now very pleased we did. Hugh plays an interesting type of electronic music, where he samples sounds on stage and builds up rhythms from them. He also has a very impressive singer who he performs with. Hugh’s type of music is, of course, right up Lyn’s street. She has recently started experimenting with sampling herself, so I think she was rather enthralled. It was an amazing performance, and I must say I found both performers incredible. I also think getting Hugh and Lyn collaborating on something is now a priority, although I suspect they might now organise such a thing theirselves.

After the show, we went to a nearby pub. Jodie, Hugh’s girlfriend and an old university friend of mine, was there, as was Tom, Hugh’s film-making friend with whom I really want to talk sometime. It turned out to be a great day, with Hugh talking to Lyn about music and computer stuff. I was really pleased how things had turned out; perhaps I should go to Greenwich more often.

Walter Benjamin was right when he called a city a maelstrom. I’ve been living in London a year and a half, and I still can’t decide what I think of her. First off, I still can’t get my head around how huge this place is: I try to go exploring as often as I can, yet I know I’ve seen only a tiny proportion of the capital. Onto this concrete and tarmac labyrinth is mapped a vast array off human systems – people going to work, trains driving through the tube, beer being delivered to the pubs – which somehow all come together to make this city work. I was thinking about this recently, and it occurs to me that it would be impossible to document all the billions of activities which allow this city to function. Put that way, London is essentially chaos: a three dimensional concrete organism inhabited by a vast array of different people from all over the globe, each with their own story to tell. I think it is this chaotic nature which I find fascinating. Of course, it can also be frightening at times it is unpredictable, and often very violent; it can also be alienating and cold. But something within it’s vastness and diversity intrigues me: there are a billion things going on at once in this microcosm, and trying to document some of them, if just in my own mind, draws me into the metropolis.

Lyn has reposted her video about being robbed onto Youtube, after taking it down in order not to jeopardise the police investigation. This seems to have proven fruitless, so in an effort to catch the scum who took our stuff, please watch this and send us any information you might have.

My entry yesterday was quite long, so I’ll think I’ll just post something brief today. I just played this song: I think it’s an adaptation of a track by Hugh Jones, a good friend of mine working under the name Crewdson. It seems that someone has put words to one of his pieces. I’m not entirely sure he was aware of it, whether it was a proper collaboration or someone just stole Hugh’s work, but the result is quite interesting and worth a listen. Either way, I think Hugh is definitely becoming a musician to look out for. Mind you, I’m still trying to organise a collaboration between him and Lyn.

Yesterday was a very cool day indeed. It was long, hectic, and towards the end a little stressful, but on the whole very cool. It started pleasantly enough, with my shower and shave: Lyn and I had plans, and I wanted to look presentable. Darryl was still in the country, and on Friday we mutually decided to meet again before he went back to Australia. This time, we thought it might be nice to meet up in the centre of the city, so I suggested the south bank. When Dominic our PA came yesterday morning, however, he told us about a gig in the north of London he thought we might like. Given that we were intending to meet Dazz in the afternoon, and Dom said the gig started at about ten in the evening, there was no reason why we couldn’t do both; it would just make for quite a hectic day.

I suppose my first mistake of the day was arranging a time with darryl and not checking whether it was okay with Lyn. I’m not a fan of hanging about, so I agreed to meet Dazz at two. When I told this to Lyn, however, she told me that she wouldn’t be ready, and that four would be better. By then, though, it was too late, but no matter: I’d just go on my own, and she would catch up with us later. I’m now pretty confident using the tube, and thought I could easily get to the rendezvous point at the London eye on my own, so off I went. Lyn advised me to get off at London bridge and then roll from there. This I did, but when I came out of the station I immediately lost my bearings, and, thinking I was the other side of the river for some reason, sped off in the wrong direction. When I eventually found the right way to go, having gone back and forth past the Golden Hind three or four times, I realised London Bridge station was a fair distance from where I was supposed to be, and that it would have been easier to get off at Westminster then simply cross the river. As I rolled up to the eye, about an hour late and with a little less battery than I would have liked, I made a mental note to reprimand Lyn the next time I saw her.

Darryl himself was easy enough to find. I drew my chair up next to him and said hi. He was admiring the view, I think, David his PA close by. I explained that Lyn would be joining us a little later on, and we went to get a coffee. We started chatting, mostly about the cricket; it’s funny how we’ve only met, physically, two or three times, but we’ve been chatting online for years, and share quite a few interests and experiences, so we get on like old friends. As I wrote the other day, I really do admire darryl; he and David both seem very good blokes. Mind you, as we were sitting drinking coffee, I suddenly realised that I was surrounded by Australians, as the couple sitting at the table behind me were also from Australia. Needless to say, this made for some lively debate, me being the only ‘pom’ there.

We sat, talking, for an hour or so, before it was time to go and try to find Lyn. She, too, was rather late, I think as a result of the rain and the fact she may have made the same mistake I did. When she got to us, most of the attractions were closing: I came pretty close to proposing that we find the nearest pub, but I knew that I had quite a long night ahead of us. We ended up sitting, talking and watching the rain on the balcony of the southbank centre. I couldn’t help remarking how pretty the capital looks in the rain: there’s something about London in a steady downpour which just looks right.

The time came, rather too quickly, for Darryl and David to go back to their hotel. As for us, it was time to eat. Time was pressing on, and I reckoned that if w were going to have a chance of getting to the gig in north London, we needed to get a move on. One should, however, always make time for dinner, and we ate in the Italian restaurant in the Southbank centre. The meal was as enjoyable as it was welcome – especially my tiramisu – but it was then that things became a little bit more stressful.

We had been trying to decide the best way to get to our destination near Notting Hill over dinner. There did not seem to be any direct, accessible tube route. We ended up taking quite a convoluted route involving trains and busses. At this point I must say how disappointed as a wheelchair user I am that many, perhaps most, tube stations still aren’t accessible. There are some which claim to be, but when you come to get on the train, the gap between the platform and carriage is so vast that it’s almost impossible for me to board. And, unlike the national railway system, there are no ramps available. It was lucky I was in my old electric wheelchair: as my father sagely explained a few days ago, we bought my new chair at a time when I needed something to go around university campuses in. as a result, unlike my old chair, it’s not intended for long journeys, getting on and off busses and trains. My old one, I realised yesterday, is a bit of an old war horse. In fact, despite going several miles yesterday, it barely lost half it’s battery power.

We eventually got to our destination, a house in what seemed to be a very smart suburb or north-west London, at almost half eleven. I must say that I was rather cranky, wondering where the smeg we were and how we were going to get home at that time of night. We could, however, hear some fantastic tango music coming from within. We went in, only to see a set of stairs. Swearing under my breath, quietly relieved that it was not me who had instigated this debacle, I got out of my chair and climbed up, Lyn being pulled up by Dominic in her manual chair. We got there just as the band was playing their last song. I must say that what I heard sounded excellent, and I was disappointed that we had not had chance to hear more.

Well, what could we then do but start to head home? The pubs were closed by then, and, let me tell you, I could have murdered a beer. We started to look for possible routes, and, irony of ironies, we found a bus running direct to Westminster. Had we known about that bus earlier that night, we would have made the gig easily! I think it was at that point, as we waited for the 53 bus from Westminster to Charlton, that things started to seem quite funny: looking back, it had been a hell of a day, full of mistakes, adventures, and, most of all, great fun.

According to Chopper I need a haircut, and he offered to take my for one yesterday afternoon, but, given that Lyn wants me to let my hair grow, and that haircuts are practically my least favourite activity, I got out of it. However, Chopper said they also do very good shaves at the barbers in the village, which made me curious: is it possible for me, a guy with problems holding his head still, to have a traditional, barber-shop save?

So, images of blood gushing everywhere running through my head, off we went to the barbers. I guess the first surprise was that they agreed to do it in the first place. Chopper and I were welcomed in, and I rolled up to the mirror; then the fun began. I think yesterday afternoon saw the scariest few minutes of my life, especially when I saw the cut throat razor they were using. I concentrated as hard as I could on keeping my head still, but, of course, with cerebral palsy the more you try to keep still the more you move. I knew one false move could see that razor going through my artery, although it was expertly wielded by the shop manager. Pretty soon, we decided that the best thing was for chopper to hold my head still, but even then I was still bloody scared.

However, the results, I must say, were worth it. After the dangerous bit was over, they put aftershave on, and then a baking hot towel, like you sometimes see in things like Michael Palin programmes. I felt like a million pounds – I felt, in a way, like a man; the type of man who drinks martinis, and can tell the diference between a Vesper and a Gibson. My face felt smoother than ever, and still does this morning. Discussing it in the pub afterwards, I told chopper I think I’d definitely do it again: I never thought I could have a shave like that, but now I know I can, I’m definitely converted. I can’t help but wonder, though, whether that was the first time any guy with my kind of CP has had such a shave.

I suppose I should say something about the recent comments of Tory MP Phillip Davies that people with disabilities should be made to work for mellow the minimum wage. To be honest, I’m not surprised to hear such things coming from a Tory, as they seem to regard us as second class citizens. It’s hard enough for most of us to get work – we have to work far harder than most to do so, and if we do ever find jobs we lose our benefits so we’re then pretty much screwed if the job falls through. I suppose Davies’ point would be that paying us less would give employers an incentive to take us on, and I must admit that has a certain logic to it, but the messages that would send out in terms of disability rights and equality would be cataclysmic. What we need is good, well-funded access to work schemes, where people with disabilities have the support they need to be able to show their skills, but I really can’t see that happening any time soon. what we do not need is some damn Tory MP going around saying we can be paid a pittance and should be grateful for it.

I have not got too much to report this evening, other than the fact that we spent a very enjoyable late afternoon with Darryl. He’s over once again for the ISAAC conference – an event which I really do have to get my arse to one year – and, since it was he who brought me and Lyn together in the first place, we always invite him to ours. It is always good to see him: he is a top guy, and his independence, success and ability to travel mean he is sort of a role model for me. We had a good chat, and he bought us a damn good curry; he told us about Womadelade, a music festival in Australia with the Cat Empire, so I think a visit to his place is definitely on the cards. Good company, good curry: all in all a very good evening.

It would be very poor indeed of me not to post an entry whishing my mum a very happy birthday. We don’t see much of eachother these days, except on Skype, but I still think I have the best mum in the world. We have a couple of family events coming up, so I’ll be able to cuddle her then, but for now I’ll just say I hope she has a great day. Love you Mum!

Dear sir. I have just watched prime minister’s questions, and I am appalled by your performance. It was a disgusting display of lying, dissembling and twisting of facts. Your attitude to the leader of the opposition was utterly patronising; your stance on inclusive education, for instance, shows a lack of understanding of the subject. Most serious, though, is the way in which you perpetuate the blatant lie that our country’s economic woes were caused by the profligacy of the previous government: history records that this crisis was caused by the greed and ineptitude of the banking sector, and would indeed have turned into a depression had not action been taken by the then government. The way you misrepresent this fact is a sign that either you do not understand the situation properly, or are twisting history for your own gain. Either way, these are not the actions of a Prime Minister. I therefore write to demand your immediate resignation. It seems to me that you had no clear mandate in the first place, yet are pushing through savage, ideological cuts and trying to blame the previous government.

Sir, I am frankly tired of your weasel-words and lies. You are not fit to lead this country, and your government is doing untold damage to many people’s lives. You will therefore stand down and call a general election immediately.

Yours

Matt Goodsell

I must admit I am in two minds about the subject of assisted suicide. Ad you will probably already know, there was a programme on it last night by terry pratchett, in which he argues quite forcefully that he has a right to choose the time and manner of his own death. I cannot disagree with him there: if we are indeed a liberal, tolerant society, we must also tolerate such things. As I said to Lyn last night,, he has a right to chose to die, but I have a right to think he’s a fucking coward. But – and this is a huge but – once we go down that path we open a huge, extremely dangerous can of worms. As Dennis Queen eloquently points out here, the implications for people with disabilities are very worrying indeed. The prospect that some vulnerable people may be coerced into choosing to die comes up; indeed, the whole notion kind of makes it seem that we all lead second class lives and can’t wait to top ourselves. I can’t really say too much on the subject, as I don’t think I can fully make my mind up; I’m glad last night’s programme was broadcast, but it did leave a nasty taste in my mouth.

I had another interesting night out yesterday evening, but not as interesting as it might have been, which is a good thing. At about four yesterday afternoon, I decided to go out for a walk. My friend chopper had been unwell, so I thought I’d swing round his to see how he was. He invited me inn, as usual, and then, to my surprise, asked if I wanted to go to Deptford. I hesitated to begin with – frankly, I had planned to have a long, lazy Sunday evening in front of the TV – but Deptford has a reputation which both scares and intrigues me. Besides, I was going with one of the hardest men in south London, or so he says.

So, my Walter Benjamin hat on, at about six yesterday evening we set off. It seemed quite a way, and the busses caused us a bit of trouble, but eventually we got to a pub called the black horse. My friend had made this place sound like a den of rogues and villains, but it seemed friendly enough. chopper said he’d been going there a long time, and he certainly seemed to be well known there. For my part, I was fascinated by the place: it seemed ancient – I guessed it had not been refitted in a century or so. People probably drank there to celebrate victory over napoleon, and I daresay probably used the same bar stools.

After we’d had a couple in the pub, we made for new cross through what seemed to be a very large housing estate. Now, I’m still pretty much a good little cripple from a fairly affluent part of a sleepy town in rural Cheshire, and I found that walk, in the half-light and drizzle, rather scary. Even chopper seemed somewhat on edge. The buildings looked new, and I think there had been recent attempts to renovate it, but something told me I definitely wasn’t in Kansas any more. The estate had the feeling of foreboding and menace, although it may just have been the half-light playing tricks on my imagination. Chopper popped in on his cousin who lived in one of the houses, and then we made our way home.

Clearly there is a lot of this city I have yet to see; Chopper says we will go to many more places, and, to be sure I can’t wait. But, as much as I now love London, it still feels ominous to me sometimes in a way I cannot really describe.

It has been quite some time since I posted a link with very little comment as an entry – this is, after all, a blog not a twitter account – but this story is simply too funny not to link to. It covers Leicester city council’s apparent unpreparedness for a zombie attack. If you ask me, it’s a pretty important situation: I mean, what if a group of marauding zombies attacked the city? And what about other town’s and cities? What if a group of nazgul came up from Kent and attacked London? I blame the cuts!

Okay, that’s enough silliness. That article was simply too absurd not to draw your attention to, and besides there isn’t much else going on today. I think we’re off out to enjoy what there is of the sunshine.

It is not often that I agree with members of the clergy, so I just have to say how odd it is to find myself in complete agreement with the archbishop of Canterbury yesterday. As we probably all know by now, this week he guest edited the new statesman, and used his editorial to openly attack the government. While I haven’t read the article myself – I’d be interested to hear from anyone who has – he reportedly questioned the governments mandate, and called CaMoron’s big society idea ”stale”. As one of my friends on facebook put it ”Go, Rowan, Go!” It seems to me that he has said what everyone else knows to be true: this government has no mandate for such radical, ideologically-inspired cuts and the reforms to health and education it is pushing through. What surprises me, though, is that these comments came from the archbishop of Canterbury: I usually associate the church with the right, with supporting governments and so on. To be honest these comments came from the last person I expected to make them, apart from the queen. Although it does raise questions about the relationship between church and state – I usually prefer the clergy to keep out of politics, as, after all, they believe in great big invisible sky-fairies – it’s good to see the clergy can still stand up for the oppressed.

Mind you, less surprising, and far more irritating, was the way in which CaMoron simply dismissed the archbishop’s article. I found it quite patronising and arrogant, sort of brushing it aside as if to say ”You can say what you like, but I don’t care. You’re wrong and I’m right.” How much more evidence do you want that these cuts are ideological, and CaMoron will proceed with them no matter what anyone else thinks, clergy or otherwise?

I went to bed late last night with a smile on my face, remembering the glorious day that had just ended, completely knackered, and, quite pleasingly, totally sober. It was the first day Lyn and I went outside the M25 in ages, and that alone felt good. We took a day-trip too Brighton: last week, as I got back from Kilburn, Lyn informed me that we were going to Brighton for a day, and that was it: I am seldom one to turn down an adventure. So, yesterday morning we set off: I went first, taking the bus to the o2 then the jubilee line to London Bridge. There I waited for Lyn to catch up, as we have to take separate busses. We also met Laura there, and Dominick’s friend Dominica, who were coming with us, and we caught the train together.

The journey down was a bit crampt, and felt somewhat slow, but I enjoyed catching sight of the fields through the window. I rather miss the sight of rolling green landscapes, so yesterday’s journey made me happy. When we got to Brighton, however, I was immediately taken by it: this place certainly made a change to London. It has amazing Victorian architecture, windy little streets and some cool little shops which sold almost anything, it seemed. I’d been told about these, however, and had my eye out for some funky clothing. It has been ages since I bought anything particularly special, like my cat outfit or big pink tutu, so I was after something awesome. I soon realised, however, that everything is expensive in Brighton, so quickly gave up the task. Besides, by then I needed something to eat.

Dominica had bumped into a few friends of hers, it seemed, and we all ate outside a vegetarian caf in a small street among the shops. The food was delicious, and I felt much better for it. Along the street, I thought I caught sight of a friend of a friend who I’d seen on facebook, which reminded me: I have friends in Brighton too. I asked Laura to text charlotte to ask her for Holly’s number. When the reply came back, though, it turned out holly was busy. I really must learn to plan things ahead of time.

After our rather late lunch, my mind turned to the beach. I had not seen the sea in years, and it was time to put that right. We headed off, by then quite a large group, through the winding little streets, looking at all the funkily-dressed people. There’s sort of an oppressive vibe to London which one gets used to, but which is not there in places like Brighton, so you notice its absence with a relief. It felt good to breathe fresher air, and once again smell the sea. When we got to the beach, my heart filled with joy: the English channel was pure blue, and the sky was just speckled with light cloud. I had expected a seafront like Blackpool’s, to be honest, but what I found was decidedly less crass and much more pleasant. It was made up of basket ball courts and skate parks; we found a grassy area where we could sit and watch the sea. The guys had bought some drums and other percussion instruments so they could have a jam, so, with Lyn using her Ipad, they drummed as the sun set to the west.

I don’t know how long we were there, but it was getting cold, #and about half eight we decided to head home. The train back was much more quiet, and, buying a cheese sandwich each for tea in London Bridge, we got home just before twelve. It had been a wonderful day, and I think we need to take many mire such trips. Usually such things end up involving alcohol at some stage, but this one didn’t, and I think it was all the better for it. Best of all, however, is the fact I went with Lyn: I’ve been out and about quite a bit recently, either alone or with chopper or Charlie, a fact which I was beginning to feel guilty about, so it felt very good to be able to share such an awesome trip with her.

As we were walking back to the train station, I turned and noticed a billboard: ”Brighton Rocks!” it read. ”You know,” I thought, ”That would make a great title for a blog entry.”

Continuing the vein of my recent ‘what I did yesterday / last night / today’ entries, I want to write a bit about the events of yesterday afternoon. We didn’t go far this time – indeed just to the park down the road – but what happened there was pretty incredible. Lyn and I were invited by our PA, Dominic, to go with him to watch his friends play some music. I thought they were just going to have a jam, and muck around in the park; but I can only describe what I saw yesterday as a pseudoreligious ceremony.

First we found a space under a tall oak, then cleared the ground. Incense was lit and wafted around with a feather, as I’ve seen native Americans do. There were about twelve of us sat in a semi-circle. First Dominick played the didgeridoo, then they put resonating bowls out, and a gong. Two people played these, hitting them not quite in a tune but melodically, for I know not how long. The effect was one of complete calm – it seemed to put everyone in a trance. I can’t really describe it; I can only say it was one off the most interesting events of my life. I wasn’t sure what I’d just seen – it had a deeply therapeutic, calming, almost mystical power to it. I try to see such things in scientific, rational terms, but I can easily see how such events induce experiences some call sacred.

Lyn and I were talking earlier, and, if you think about it, it has been quite a cool, if somewhat hectic, couple of weeks. At this moment I don’t think I’ve ever been so independent – a fact which charlotte noted on Tuesday. I now go on busses, the tube, and overground trains, and think nothing of it. I know that’s not particularly special, but there was a time, not long ago, when such things seemed very risky indeed, and totally out of bounds for little old me. I have had chance to pause this evening, and reflect on my recent little adventures to central London, Kilburn and so on, and, if I may be so bold, I daresay I’ve come a long way from the boy who never wanted to leave home. It’s not really blog worthy, but tonight I just wanted to note how vast that contrast seems, now I have chance to reflect on it. Mind you, the bigger question is, what adventures will tomorrow bring?

I would be a very poor blogger indeed if I didn’t write an entry about what happened in the world of TV this week, given that we had at least two highly controversial disability-related TV programmes. First, as I’m sure many readers will probably know, there was a Panorama programme on the disgusting treatment of people with learning disabilities in care homes. I’m sure I hardly need to record how appalled I was when I saw this: Lyn and I watched it two nights ago on iplayer, and we were both aghast. I think I was most struck by the fact that the people carrying out the abuse seemed to be treating it as a game, and that the residents were theirs to toy with. I sincerely hope those responsible – both those who carried out the abuse and those who allowed such a situation to come about – are now in jail. What gets me even more, though, is when I come on line I see people actually sticking up for the abusers, referring to the residents as ‘retards’ and thinking it’s somehow big, intelligent or clever to justify this appalling behaviour. But then, such people are surely ere trolls whose opinions count for nothing and deserve only to be ignored.

The second programme which caught my eye was on channel four last night, about the so-called elephant man. I only caught the end of it, but they seemed to be trying to recreate his physical deformities. I was struck by the question ‘why’? Why would we want to resurrect this individual, if not just to stare at him? Was he not stared at enough when he was alive? In other words, are such programmes not just a continuation of the nineteenth century freak-show, wrapped up in a thin veil of science? I suppose the guy is dead now, so such programmes can’t hurt him, but surely we have grown out of this childish voyeurism; surely we have grown out of abusing anyone seen as different? And if not, isn’t it time we did so?

I was not going to blog today, having not been on any mad adventures like the last two days, but I just want to record how struck I am bb the current FIFA debacle. I just tuned into the news, not having watched a bulletin all day and wanting to catch up, but the first thing I saw was some absurd story about how FIFA’s corrupt president has been re-elected unopposed. I know I usually steer clear of footballing matters, as ordinarily I have no interest in the subject, but the fact that any international body can be so blatantly corrupt, not to say anti-English, really strikes me as stupid. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t let this subject go without giving my two cents on the subject, especially when it is at the top of the main BBC news programme: FIFA, the governing body of world football, must be disbanded and built anew. It’s only football, but we cannot let corruption stand. Surely such a body can be more open and democratic; it’s only a sport, after all…

For the second day in a row I find myself exhilarated and exhausted in equal measure, as, for the second day in a row, it has been one both thrilling and knackering. As I recorded the other day, charlotte and Emma were going to come visit. This morning, however, I realised how little cash I had in my wallet. Ordinarily, this would simply have meant a trip to Woolwich; but the Woolwich branch of my building society has shut for some reason, causing me quite a problem.

According to google maps, there was a branch in Greenwich, so off I went, intending to be back well before I had to go meet C and E at the o2. When I reached the historic naval suburb, there was no building society: I looked around for a bit, even straying as far as Deptford, but there was no Nationwide. I remembered there was a branch in Lewisham – I knew that for a fact – so I caught the bus there. It was, thankfully, only a short trip, but the thing was, (and this is something which, now I come to think of it I’m quite concerned about) the Nationwide branch was no longer there. By then, however, time really was moving on: there was no time to go home but I had to go straight to the o2 to have any chance of seeing my friends. I got myself a bag of crisps, not having eaten in ages, and tried to catch a bus, but they all refused to stop. This was turning into the day from hell. In desperation, I hopped into a taxi, the first time I’d ever done so, and by good fortune got there only fifteen minutes late. I was still penniless so my friends leant me the fare.

The rest of the afternoon, I’m pleased to report, was much more pleasant: we caught the underground to the south bank and had a good catch-up. It ended too soon, as usual, but Emma had to get back to her new family. Charlie and I came back here on the overground train, and, after a few beers here, she went back to her brother’s in New Cross. In all its been quite a tiring couple of days, but these two days have taught me a lot. The tube is no limit; the overground is accessible, and, if you really want to, you can always make an appointment to meet up with good friends. Knowing I’m able to manage all this makes me feel proud, but I think I could sleep for a week.

I was looking at a map of the tube system this morning when I noticed something: the local station, north Greenwich, and Kilburn, up near my grandmothers house, are on the Jubilee line, and both are marked as accessible. This gave me an idea – what better way to start getting to know the underground system than to go to visit my grandmother? To be honest, having lived it the same city for a year and a half now, going to hers for a ‘drop by’ visit was long overdue. So off I set: to save battery power, I caught the bus to the tube station, then it was on to the train. I’d done this before, but always with a PA by me, so I was sailing in to the unknown.

Getting to Kilburn took a fair while, but the trip was uneventful. I must admit I was a little surprised when the train suddenly whirred into broad daylight; I was even more surprised when, upon reaching my stop, I found there was quite a large step on to the platform. But there was no turning back, and eventually I made it onto the platform, and then the streets of north London.

I’d checked google maps before leaving, and the walk from the station to Yeaya’s looked straightforward enough. my sense of direction wasn’t behaving as well as it usually does, though, and eventually I had to ask for directions. Soon enough, however, the street names started to become ones I know from childhood, and I was able to find my Grandmother’s house without much more difficulty. I had toyed with the idea of getting back and simply turning back, not wanting to trouble Yeaya or cause her to worry; when I reached the house, though, I thought I might as well see if she was in, and I rang the bell.

Yeaya was, of course, quite surprised to see me, but pretty soon I was sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea and being fed apple pies. We had quite a good cha, and she asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner or even spend the night there. But I wanted to get back here before the rain the skies were threatening started to come down in earnest, so I set off back home after about 45 minutes. It was a flying visit I know, but I’m sure now that I’ve done it once, I’ll be going there more often. Other members of the family go there quite frequently, and I’d like to see them too.

Well, I had thought the trip home would be as straightforward as the one there, but it wasn’t to be. There turns out to be two tube stations in Kilburn – Kilburn and Kilburn Park – the latter of which is neither accessible nor on the jubilee line, and you can probably guess which I was directed to. I knew it didn’t look familiar, but the station master put me on a bus to the correct station and eventually I was on my way home, quietly feeling rather pleased with myself, despite that hiccup.

I feel as though I’ve mastered the underground, or at least I’m on my way to doing so. Of course, I can only go to stations marked as accusable, which only a handful seem to be, but, looking at the tube map, I can’t help but feel rather excited about where this endeavour could take me.

I am pleased to say that yesterday was a very good day indeed. It was good to see so many of my friends, including Charlie, passing through the capital on her way down to Brighton. Mind you, it was good to get away from facebook for a while, where all the stuff about Claire Khaw is fast becoming nauseatingly inane. I have my main chair back, so I set off for Greenwich park an hour early yesterday, as I didn’t want to miss any of the action, but, as it turns out, the other guests arrived an hour late. This meant I was hanging around the park for over an hour. Fortunately, I had had the genius idea of telling Lyn to stay home, and asking C to call our PA, Laura, once everything started properly. This worked a treat, and Lyn arrived just as we were starting on the home-made cakes and flapjacks.

It was, all in all, a great afternoon. After we had eaten, we played rounders – something I’d not done since school. It came to an end all too soon, but it was getting cold. All being well, I’ll see Charlie on Tuesday, on her way back from Brighton; Emma should be with her, so I’m really looking forward to it. C and E aside, it struck me yesterday that I have many other friends in the capital I feel I should be seeing more of; I’m going to have to get my finger out and figure out the train Network!

Today is a day full of the promise of fun; a day which I have been looking forward to for at least a couple of weeks. It seems my friends from Chester, most of whom now live down here, have organised a picnic in the park, and, thanks to the wonders of facebook, have invited us along too. This means that, for the first time in ages, I’ll get to see the Jones siblings, including, all being well, Charlie. It feels like ages since I saw her last, and I’m looking forward to having the chance to catch up. Mind you, how today will pan out remains to be seen: it looks decidedly overcast outside. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow – I suspect it might end up with a pub involved. Right now, though, I just can’t wait to get going, to go to see my good old friends, and to fill them in on all the Charlton gossip.

As a blogger who tries to keep up at least a veneer of fairness and objectivity [pause for sniggering], today I will simply reprint an email I got earlier. It’s from Claire Khaw in reply to this entry. I must say, though, I find her sentiments pretty abhorrent, particularly the idea that she or anyone would have their baby smothered were it born severely disabled. We all know that, when placed under any degree of intellectual scrutiny, such views are shown to be utterly without metit, which is why I’m baffled as to how anyone can still hold them. I think, however, I’ll just let her words, which terrify me to the core, speak for their selves.

[quote=”Claire Khaw”]May I point out that all I said was I would have the midwife smother my own severely disabled baby?

It is up to others what they want to do with their babies, disabled or not.

My view is that no one should be made to pay for the children of another, whether able-bodied or disabled.

At no time did I advocate a government policy of general extermination of the disabled, in the way so many mentally challenged people like to pretend I did.[/quote]

[shudders]

I usually aim to contribute to debates on my blog, adding my own comments to the sites I link to. But today I’ll just send you here, to a speech I found inspiring: if, as Obama says, the grandson of a Kenyan chef serving in the british navy can speak in Westminster hall as president of the united states, then everything is indeed possible. I may have become caught up in Obama fandom like many others across the globe, but to me he’s a symbol of hope, and to see him speak in that echoing hall today was truly inspirational.

(Mind you, I still get irritated when Hague’s bald head appears.)

I must say I feel rather thrilled to see Obama here in the UK. It’s probably even more thrilling for me on this occasion because it’s the first time I’m in the very city where it’s all going on. I keep thinking ”I’m in the same city as barrack Obama.” That doesn’t sound much I know, but for a boy from sleepy old Cheshire it’s pretty cool. I was just watching the coverage of the grand royal banquet on t.v: if there’s one thing we brits can do it’s put on a slap-up meal*. Mind you, I keep catching the galling sight of William Hague’s bald pate or Osbourne’s smug little face and thinking how little right they have to be dining with a man who presently symbolises such hope; they who are cutting away at the livelihood and dignity of so many people. People like brown, Charles Clarke* and the brothers Milliband should be there, not those gits. Now I come to think about it, how can we afford this visit at this time? I know it’s not quite in the spirit of the visit, but the question must be raised, especially with the current government in power.

*We are especially good at curries.

I have decided it’s high time I mastered the tube. I would really like to see a bit more of London; for the last few weeks I’ve just been milling around the south east of the city, which, apart from places like Greenwich, is starting to feel somewhat drab. What I need, I decided last night, is a few more adventures. Of course, I’ve been on the DLR before, but only once, and I have used the tube on occasion with the help of a PA, but it seems to me that if I could get to grips with the London underground system, the entire city could be my oyster. I know it won’t be that simple, as not all the stations are accessible and there’s a lot that can go wrong, but I really would like to try it. Now the big question is, where should ii go first? Any suggestions?

James recently brought this radio programme to my attention. It took me a day or so to get round to listening to it; as a whole it’s quite a good programme about the problems involved in bringing up severely disabled kids, but I want to draw your attention to the comments of a caller about 27 minutes in. I must say these comments have enraged me: the caller, Claire Khaw, actually advocates the abortion or killing of disabled kids. According to her, they are a ”burden on the tax payer”. I had hoped that such despicable eugenicist views had died out, but apparently not. James has started a facebook group called Disabled People Against Claire Khaw which, given Khaw is apparently a possible BNP London mayoral contender, I’d advise anyone reading this to join.