I think I’ll just flag this bbc 3 program up today, a fascinating insight into disability hate crime. While there’s not much I feel I can say about it, I agree with most of the conclusions it draws. Disability hate crime is a hugely neglected phenomenon: depending on how you define it, you’d be surprised how much discrimination I face every day. Most of it is low level, such as kids staring to inaccessible shops, so I just let it slide. Perhaps I should take more notice and try to do something about it. I’m glad, though, that this program a leat started to look at it and bring it to everyone’s attention.

How much longer do we have to put up with this group of tory scumbags ruling over us? Coming in from my daily stroll, I stumbled over this Mirror article laying bare the shocking arrogance of Iain Duncan-Smith and his deputy. They refuse to publish the figures on how many people have died due to DWP cuts. It has been established beyond doubt that these cuts have driven hundreds if not thousands to suicide, yet, instead of apologising, IDS accuses Labour of ‘scaremongering’. They refuse point blank to release the figures and maintain that they somehow have nothing to hide and are in the right. Knowing the suffering the tories are causing, and having to put up with their dismisive ”we know best” attitude, as if these scumbags have some innate right to impose their views on us, is getting too much for me to stomach.

Poor Lyn had something of a rude awakening this morning. As soon as I got to my computer, I started squealing like a little kid – the new Bond trailer had been released. I know I shouldn’t just advertise adverts on here, but this has me quite excited. If it is anything to go by – and, of course, one should always be cautious of judging a film by it’s trailer – this film will be a blinder. What interests me most is that it appears to pick up on a few past Bond conventions: the 007 franchise has now become so big it can now go back into it’s own history and revisit itself. In many respects it functions more like it’s own genre than an ordinary series or franchise, occupying a unique cultural niche. Thus I detect hints of Live and Let Die in this trailer, as well as intriguing echoes of the theme from On Her Majesty’s secret Service; and of course, the very name Spectre harks back to classic bond. All bodes well then, although we’ll have to wait until late October to find out whether these promising ingredients make for a good film. Going back into the franchise’s own history in this way could be a risky tactic; I hope Sam Mendes handles it as well as we know he can.

I was just out in the garden reading a bit of Go Set A Watchman, the sun feeling as hot as it is in Alabama. A thought occurred to me: with it’s publication, might now be a good time for another adaptation f To Kill a Mockingbird? With the first African Ameican president in office, it might be a good time for film to revisit that classic. It would have to be a period piece, of course- doing a version set in the contemporary wold wouldn’t work in my opinion. There’s also the question of who would play atticus: in the original 1963 adaptation, gregory Peck played him, and you’d need a damn good actor to fill those boots. I’m just speculating here, of course, but I really would like to see film revisit a classic.

I think both Lyn and I prefer to save up and go private for our equipment. I know it doesn’t do my left-wing credentials any good, but, when it comes to things like wheelchairs an communication aids, going through the state can be more trouble than it’s worth. Thus we recently bought our new manual chairs from the internet; and L got her new Ipad stand the same way. It would seem that our instincts were right about this: on the lunchtime news, we learned that wheelchair services are failing across england. It’s always been bad, of course, but now it is horrific. People wait years for a chair, and when they get one, it often isn’t suitable. Fortunately, we were told, Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson is trying to do something about it, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. Mind you, dominik, who was watching the news with us, commented that we are lucky, and that in many other countries there is no wheelchair provision at all. True enough, I suppose.

By and large, my main writing output is my blog. Like an addiction, something compels me to write something on here every day – however short my entries are, at least I have some artistic output. However, I’m glad to report that I now have something else to work on: a script for a production company. Progress has been slow of late, but today, with a gentle kick in the pants from my parents, I got going again. The problem is, I procrastinate; but I know I must keep going lest the opportunity slips through my fingers. Thus today I trotted off four pages, and tomorrow plan to do more. I must tell myself to stop finding excuses and just get it written – which is, of course, why I’m writing this entry.

I think I’ll flag this pretty interesting podcast up. It’s a nice little discussion about language and disability, and the long history of that debate within disability studies. It is from america, so it’s interesting to hear how such debates have played out on the other side of the Atlantic.

Lyn has a new Ipad stand for her wheelchair. It came yesterday, and it’s quite cool. I think she lot it from the web, possibly Ebay. It’s a very nice piece of equipment, specifically designed to attach to a wheelchair. L got it to replace her old stand, which was originally for her Lightwriter. It is just about perfect for lyn, which made me wonder: could whoever designed this new stand have taken inspiration from seeing Lyn performing at the paralympics? Of course, on one level that’s rather farfetched; but if you look at it, and note how well it fits Lyn’s needs, I can’t help but speculate. It seems to be tailor-made for someone who uses an ipad with their nose. All it would take is for a canny designer somewhere to have been watching that ceremony and think ”aha!” I doubt we’ll ever know, but the thought amuses me.

We have a government who, in recent days:

Voted to change the rules on striking, making it much more difficult for workers to stand up for themselves.

Just launched a massive review of the BBC, the countries main source of news and a body unafraid to hold the government to account.

Scapegoats minorities such as people on benefits, branding them scroungers.

Blames external factors such as the economic crisis for pushing through massive, regressive yet ultimately ideologically-inspired cuts to the state.

Is it me, or doesn’t the government seem to be becoming more and more absolutist. This is getting serious. The tories are attacking the beeb, the nhs; soon we won’t be able to strike. They might pretend they aren’t exceeding their rights and are acting fairly, but the tories are becoming increasingly authoritarian, even fascist. It is no longer a joke: they must be stopped.

I know I finished it over a year ago, but I love the fact that it’s possible for me to see echoes of my Masters thesis in my day to day life. A few days ago I noticed that I can see things which remind me of my greatest achievement. For example, at one point in my thesis I write about the ending of Jurrasic park; about how, when the characters are flying away from the park, they spot a bird. Obviously the point of this bit of film was to note that birds evolved from dinosaurs; but or me, now, every time I see a bird in flight in the sky it puts me in mind of my thesis, reminding me of what I’m capable of. I also get a great big kick from watching star Trek The Next generation: obviously I’ve seen all the episodes before, but every time I see Patrick Stewart come on screen, it feels wonderful to be able to cry out ”I’ve met him!” I also absolutely adore the fact that danny Boyle chose to echo the union jack parachute jump from the opening of The Spy Who Loved Me at the olympic opening ceremony in 2012. It is a link I find glorious. To see a moment of film I love and looked at in possibly the greatest thing I’ll ever write reused at such an enormous event – an event which will never come again, but at which Lyn performed at – is something I derive an inordinate amount of joy from. The fact that the opening of the Spy Who Loved Me was used as part of a type of textual play makes it highly relevant to my thesis, given that in a way it illustrates precisely the fusion of fandom and cinephilia I discuss; one of my cinephiliac moments used in a type of textual play – you couldn’t get a better fit with my thesis. To be able to see these echoes of my MA work in my day to day life, to have them remind me of what I’m capable of if I put my mind to it, is something I get find enormously satisfying.

I just read the first chapter of Go Set a Watchman, having whizzed down to our local WH Smiths to pick up a copy. I apparently contributed to a record, as the book sold 105,000 copies on it’s first day, and is on track to become one of the fastest selling books in history. Of course, I can’t give any verdicts yet, but it felt nice, just now on the sofa, to ease back into Harper Lee’s Alabama. As I wrote here a few entries ago, it reminds me of my school days, of Woodford Lodge and GCSE English – a time that now seems half a lifetime away.

It has been sixteen years since I studied Mockingbird. Thinking about that yesterday, I decided to look the old place up: who knew, Mr. Dale might still be teaching there, and it would be wonderful to hear his thoughts on this new book. I found a facebook group; and then, to my astonishment, I learned that Woodford Lodge High School had been knocked down. I do not yet know how or why, but the school where I did my GCSE English and then A-Level English no longer exists. Finding that out was quite strange: I still have very fond memories of walking along the path between my Special School and that place, as well as fond memorie of my lessons there. Knowing that once thriving, bustling place is now a pile of rubble is odd, and I feel rather lie Jean-Louise Finch returning to small town Alabama after being in new York for twenty years.

Have you ever come across something which you hope to zark is ironic but fear might not be? I just watched a program about Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen and I couldn’t work out whether it was a study of a deluded c-list celebrity who genuinely thought he had some kind of image and cache as a designer, or whether it was all a show and Llewelyn-Bowen was putting on an ironic act. I really hope it was the latter, as, if it as the former, Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen must be the most repugnant, arrogant, self-deluded prick ever who certainly did not deserve the airtime of a documentary about him. I cannot believe anyone could truly be as arrogant as he was in this bbc program; he had a phenomenally overinflated sense of his celebrity and significance, seeing himself as an important designer and doyenne and not just some flouncy bloke who was on a few crappy tv shows twenty years ago. Then again, the joke would be on him if that was the case, as that would make the point of the program be to laugh at him. Indeed, the cringeworthy self delusion was very reminiscent of Ricky Gervais’ David Brent. I thus find myself intrigued: was this a program about a man who deep down knows he’s a has-been, or a cruel mocking of a has-been who does not realise he is a nobody.

I don’t often watch ITV except for the occasional bond film or football match, but last night I tuned in to Trans-Siberian Railway with Joanna Lumley. Being a firm fan of Michael Palin Travelogues, I wanted to see how the two compared, and I must say I’m in two minds. The program itself was perfectly fine: Lumley makes an amicable travel presenter as you might expect, and some of the scenery she was passing through really was stunning. I find the idea of one railway track passing through the whole of Asia, from east to west, compelling. Yet I can’t help thinking this was just an ITV imitation of a BBC program, or Lumley trying to elbow herself in to Michael Palin’s territory. The shooting stye and shot selection were pretty much identical, for example. There’s room for both, of course, and I’ll watch virtually anything which shows you far flung places and beautiful scenery; but the concept of ‘well-loved comedian sent to exotic places to make travel show’ just reeks of ITV trying to nick a well-loved bbc idea for it’s sunday night schedule – it just seems crass and lazy. Nevertheless, I’ll continue to watch: imitation or not, the scenery is stunning and the subject fascinating,

After finding this bbc article on it, I’m now even more eager to get my hands on a copy of Go Set a Watchman. As I said a couple of days ago, I’ve love To Kill a Mockingbird since school, but according to this article, Lee’s new novel recasts Atticus as some kind of bigot. Like many, I’ve aways sen Atticus as an emblem of liberal tolerance and reason, so this news comes as a shock. Mind you, as the article stresses, Lee’s new book should be seen as an early version of TKAM, rather tan a prequel or sequel, in which case I’d be fascinated to see how the two compare. I just hope I’m not heartbroken to find Atticus is not who we thought he was.

I know I’m probably being stupid, and that there’s some good, practical reason why this is not possible, but what’s stopping the world from just forgetting about all these economic issues? As far as I can see, they have no basis in any physical reality but are essentially fiction. Stock exchanges, exchange rates – aren’t they all just extremely complex games people play? If that is so, what’s to stop us from all deciding to start again, to say ”hey, this is getting silly” and wiping the slate clean? Why not forget about who owes what to whom? at the end of the day, everyone owes everyone else something: Germany says greece owes it billions, but Germany owes Greece billions from the war. Given that so many people are suffering due to these financial constructs, why can’t we just cut the crap, se it as the bullshit it is and wipe the slate clean. It seems absurd to me that people are dying due to what are essentially fictional constructs. When I go to the shop, for example, I give people money in exchange for goods; but what is money? It’s just pieces of paper and chunks of metal; it only has value because we collectively say it as value. When the guy in the shop gives me my goods, he only expects me to give him money in return due to a shared social convention. Given that convention has no physical basis – ie, no external cause – why can’t we, in certain circumstances, agree to suspend it? while one should usually pay debts, if so many people are suffering due to this crisis, why can’t we just forget about it.

It is with the greatest pleasure that I direct you here this afternoon. The Guardian has put an extract from Go Set A Watchman on it’s website, Harper Lee’s sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird. I intend, of course, to buy the novel as soon as I can; yet listening to this extract, beautifully read by Reece Witherspoon, I am reacquainted with a voice I first heard almost twenty years ago. To hear the voice of Scout Finch again, now grown up yet still full of the rich Southern wisdom I fell in love with in Mockingbird, makes me happy beyond words. It takes me both to Alabama, where the story is set, and to the path between the special school I attended and the comprehensive where I did my GCSE english – where Mr Dale, one of the best teachers I ever had, first introduced me to a novel I fell in love with and to the voice it’s so good to hear once more.

When he punched the air so euphorically in parliament yesterday, did Iain Duncan-Smith have any idea of how inflammatory his gesture was? I doubt any such act has ever stirred up so much contempt. IDS is responsible for so much hardship and suffering, yet yesterday he welcomed the onslaught of more like a footballer celebrating a goal. Does the man have no tact? does he not realise the suffering he is causing? or does he realise, but have such a warped sense of reality that he thinks he is doing the right thing? whatever the case, it sickens me that such disgusting little men now run the country.

Conservatism is a blight on humanity which needs to be eradicated. It is not, as it’s moronic proponents would like to believe, a valid political philosophy, but a set of childish greed-motivated impulses to be outgrown. We just sat through George Osbourne spewing a complete pack of lies, refocussing the economy so that it benefits only the rich. He and that shit CaMoron dictate to us as if they are superior, when in fact the shits belong in jail for the suffering they have caused. This subhuman criminal wants to cut tax for the rich while the poorest in society suffer. I want a culture which cares for itself, where people look after each other through paying tax and getting help; tories want a society based on greed, where people horde their money and care only abut their selves. Such a mindset needs to be outgrown – it is a blight, holding us back. For all their pretences, tories – party members and voters – are no more than scum. They are worthy only of utter contempt, and their puerile, abhorrent worldview has to be stamped out.

Today of course marks another anniversary of something which happened to london a decade ago, but the contrast with yesterday could barely be more stark. It’s odd to note that, whereas yesterday marked ten years since something truly momentous, today marks ten years since something truly abhorrent. I doubt anyone could make up a greater juxtaposition. As with yesterday, we can all remember where we were when we heard the news; and as with yesterday, I remember posting a blog entry in reaction to it. But unlike yesterday, there’s not much I feel I can write about it today, except that my thoughts are with all the victims of that tragic event.

It has been ten years to the day since I wrote this entry; ten years since, sitting in my old room at uni, I learned that London had won the right to host the 2012 olympics. I remember being elated, but of course, I could never have guessed back then that I would eventually be living in London at the time of the games, or that I’d have a partner who would play at the closing ceremony. It is truly astounding how things turned out. And, needless to say, I still look back on that event with great fondness, especially the ceremonies – hell, you know how obsessed I am with happy and glorious.

I can’t help thinking how different it could have been. If Jaques Rogge had exclaimed ‘paris’ instead of ‘london’, none of that would have happened. Of course, I’d probably still be living in London with Lyn, but Stratford would still be an unregenerated urban wasteland; we’d not have all those memories of Olympic glory; the pararchestra would never come about; and Happy and Glorious, quite possibly the greatest television moment ever, would never have been created. No doubt we’d be debating whether to bid again, and I’d be protesting vociferously on here that we could not afford it amid all the cuts.

No doubt a lot will be said today about ‘Legacy’, or the lack of it: already the beeb is reporting that tessa Jowell has branded the legacy a failure because there are still too few people involved sport. But I think today should be about reflecting on how different it might have all been, perhaps going over a few happy memories; and sparing a thought for paris, who came so close and now have the bidding process to go through all over again.

A couple of days ago, I came across talk of the creation of a musical based on James Bond. As a Bond fan, my initial reaction was to balk at the idea. 007 is a coldblooded government assassin – he does not sing. To make him do so would completely change his image, turning him into a family-oriented bit of fluff with nothing to do with the character Fleming created. It would ruin the whole Bond phenomenon.

Yet, while that is true, you could say that for the franchise to survive it must evolve. Indeed, it has always evolved: every few films, a new actor is cast, bringing something new to the franchise. That is how it has survived for over fifty years, and how it built such an extraordinary cultural niche for itself that bond escorted the queen to the olympics. There is something special about this character, and part of his success stems from his ability to change with the times; would not this musical idea just be another phase in that evolution?

Mulling this idea over yesterday afternoon, I answered that with a firm ‘no’: James Bond does not, and should never be forced to, sing. However, this morning, cuddling up to Lyn just before I got up, I realised something: a major aspect of the franchise is it’s music. Every time a new bond film comes out, there is always debate over who would do the theme song. I laughed at myself for not realising it before: the obvious plan would be to create a stage show from the existing bond themes. In that moment, my attitude to the whole idea changed. I love most bond theme songs, especially Nobody Does it Better and live and let die. If creating this show from the bond themes is indeed what they are planning – and, let’s face it, that would be the logical thing to do – then I would certainly be up for it. It might deviate from the phenomenon Fleming created, but, handled correctly and written wel, it could be awesome.

Let me get this straight: I just turned on the news to hear that, at a time when tens of thousands are suffering due to benefit cuts, Osbourne now wants to cut inheritance tax on homes up to a million quid. At a time when people are starving due to lack of money in the state sector, he tories want to take even more out of it in order to give wealthy families a tax break. How greedy do you have to be to think that that is in any way moral? Yet that piece of shit CaMoron has called wanting to pass on your home a human right in today’s Times. How dare he speak of human rights?! What about the right of people to not starve? what about the right to independence? He can’t afford to renew the ILF, but he can afford to give his rich pals a tax break. He can’t even use his usual (flawed) justification that cutting tax encourages investment. How dare he preach to us and try to justify his greed-based politics as something noble? The arrogance of this subhuman p’tahk astounds me.

I’m now quite serious in calling for something to be done to remove this group of scumbags from power.

Waiting for a taxi, showered and shirted

Ready for a big day, a big meeting, a day with the potential to be great.

Feeling like a proper writer, going to meet his producers

Then, one last email check: ”sorry matt, change of plan”. A postponement, not a cancellation. Not a major set-back, really

But still a deflation.

And all you can do is take your shirt back off.

It has been a long, busy day. As well as volunteering at school and helping out at the Rix centre, I recently applied to become an equalities champion. These are voluntary positions where one advocaes for the rights of a given minority, in my case disabled people. I will be working closely with GAD. I went to a training session on it today, and, voluntary though it may be, it’s quite involved; it will certainly keep me active. Sitting at the training session in woolwich town hall, I felt like I was back at school: the concepts we had to cover were not that neglegable, and being in a more or less classroom setting made me quite nostalgic. A good day then, marking the start of something which promises to be very interesting indeed.

Only the british can spend most of the year longing for summer to arrive, then as soon as we get anything resembling hot weather, we start moaning that it is too hot and longing for the cool. The news was full of it this evening; any temperature over 35 is apparently a major news story. Mind you, I was very amused to find that the word ‘scorchio’ was in wide use: it seems everyone remembers the old fast show sketch to the extent that we now use it as a common reference point. There’s quite a bit I could say about that, and ordinarily I’d analyse it…but it’s way too hot.

I just watched the bbc lunchtime news as usual and was appalled to see that there was nothing about the closure of the ILF on there. As I write, thousands of people with disabilities are protesting in Whitehall. I would have been there too had circumstances permitted. We are fighting for our freedom, indeed our lives, against a group of inhumane p’tahks who think it is more important to lower tax for the rich than to fund independence for people with disabilities. I cannot find the words right now to express my hatred and revulsion for the conservative party: thousands will suffer, yet they don’t give a shit. We’re expected just to sit back and allow these insults to humanity rule over us, preaching their doctrine of greed as if it is somehow noble to be selfish, while more and more people die. The welfare state and the nhs, the two great British contributions to civilisation, will be destroyed by the tories, and we can do fuck all about it – they don’t even allow our protests to be shown on the lunchtime news.

How wonderful it was to watch Sir David Attenborough meet Barack Obama last night. I was entranced. Say what you might about television history, use all the glowing adjectives you like, just to see those men chatting like old friends, putting the world to rights, was sheer joy. Mind you, I also found it very educational: the range of Attenborough’s knowledge combined with Obama’s warmth to draw the viewer in. My only regret was that there wasn’t more of it – the interview only lasted 35 minutes and was interspersed with cut-aways, so I was left wanting more. It was clear that both men were highly intelligent and vastly knowledgable, yet there was little in the way of detail. Oh well, a great piece of tv nevertheless.

(it’s no longer on bbc iplayer. Check it out here)

Lyn and I rarely discuss her financial situation, and I try not to pry much into that area, but Lyn is an Independent living Fund user. She has not said much about how she’ll be affected, and indeed I’m not sure she has received any information about it, but I’m very concerned about what will happen tomorrow. Many people with severe disabilities face severe cuts to their care packages: one need only look at what happened last Wednesday to see how scared they are.

I keep thinking about how wonderful Lyn is and the great things she has done, from the days when she used to come to see me up at uni to going to france together, to playing at the paralympics and the Liberty festival. She is a very independent woman, but when I consider that that independence could now be taken away, if not from her certainly then from many like her, my blood boils. How can the tories be so barbaric? How can they cut tax for the wealthy few while sending ‘us’ back to the institutions? With the right support we can flourish, from doing a masters to performing before the world; the tories would strip that support from us, sending people with disabilities back thirty or forty years in one greed-ridden stroke. I say that without a glimmer of hyperbole: the closure of the ILF means that is a very real prospect – tory lies about replacement funding soothing only the gullible.

Today, sunny though it is, a dark cloud hangs over the disability community. It feels like almost everything we have worked for for so long will tomorrow be take away by the tories, and, try as we might, we are powerless to prevent it.

Apparently a new episode of top gear airs tonight. I expect it to be the last new Top Gear, as frankly I can’t see the program surviving without the original team. Sunday nights won’t be sunday night without that semi-fascist car-oriented anarchy. For some reason we let these men whose views we’d ordinarily find repugnant get away with so much, like a collective guilty pleasure. Something about the antics of Clarkson, Hammond and May appealed to the children in us all. I can’t see anyone replacing them, as the dynamic will be lost. No doubt the beeb will try replacing the team, then shelving the idea and letting it pass into history. Tonight, then, probably marks the end of a television era.

As someone who does not buy into the ‘normal’ binaries of gender, sexuality and so on, I must say I find the news that gay marriage has now been legalised in the US awesome. Paul, our PA today, came in ecstatic about it. As he put it, amid all the bad stuff we hear about on the news, we finally get this glimmer of light; one fragment of progress which restores ones faith in humanity. Mind you, as monumental as this step is, there’s still a long way to go before LGBT people achieve true equality; and indeed it had to get past fervent opposition from right-wing conservatives. We better not be too jubilant, then, but I think we can allow ourselves to smile awhile over this.

I saw an advert for this yesterday, and of course was instantly stunned. On sunday evening, the beeb will air a program in which David Attenborough meets Barack Obama. It promises to be an incredible piece of television; the two great men are said to discuss the natural world, climate change and so on. I suppose it’s quite a coup for the bbc, although it was apparently Obama who requested the meeting. Something to look forward to, then – expect my customary rave on here on Monday morning.

Part of me feels guilty for not having been up there yesterday. A large part of me says that if there was any meaning behind all the political ranting I do, I should have been up in parliament yesterday, protesting, trying to break down the door of the house of commons with my fellow disability activists. Another part of me says I as right not to go; that, had I gone, there’s a good chance I would have lost my head, done something stupid, and would have woken up in a jail cell this morning. In that case, Lyn would have been fully justified in packing my bags and putting me on the next train back to cheshire. I owe it to her to be sensible – well, at least try to.

Yet the fact remains we need to protest. Disabled people are desperate and angry right now, and that desperation and anger need to be shown. I was glad to see news of the protest on both the BBC and Channel Four bulletins last night, yet I noticed the story slipping down the running order as the evening wore on. There was no word if this morning. Thus we need to keep it up. The country needs to be shown videos like the ones here. The truth about the tory cuts, rather than the blatant lies about ‘protecting people’ and ‘ring-fencing funds’ they spout, needs to be told. We need more actions like yesterday, and I hope by the next one to have grown some cajones and be hammering on the commons doors alongside my comrades. I’d just have to tex Lyn and ask her to keep my dinner warm.

I volunteer at school on Wednesday mornings, so turned down an invitation a few days ago to go to an Independent Living Fund protest up in parliament. I had been very tempted to go, but thought I better carry through on my other commitments. I’m now very pleased with that decision. I just checked the headlines and saw this! The crazy sons of bitches tried to storm the commons chamber: ”Protesters have attempted to enter the House of Commons chamber during Prime Minister’s Questions. The group, campaigning against the end of the Independent Living Fund, were prevented from getting in by police.” I’m stunned, astonished, and, I must say, quite impressed.

Further updates no doubt to follow.

Just to post a quick update on one of my favourite topics, I heard today that Paris has entered the race to host the 2024 olympics. I know that won’t matter too much to anyone reading this blog, but forgive a cripple his little obsessions. It just seems to me that one can read a plethora of international rivalries and attitudes into this process: countries compete for national prestige like nowhere else, as hosting the olympics is a huge international status symbol. Given that the french now seem quite desperate to win this time after their beloved capital was rejected three times, I think this contest has higher stakes than ever. They will throw everything into this bidding process, as will, I suspect, the other bidders, giving rise to what promises to be a fascinating competition.

Turning on my computer this morning, I read of the sad news that James Horner, one of the all-time great film composers, has died in a plane crash. Not all that much has been written about the role of music in film, but, when you think about it, it plays a huge part in structuring emotion in film, helping to guide the viewer. Horner’s scores were among the best at that. With that in mind, I’d like to direct you here, to one of his greatest, and a favourite of mine.

I realise that saying this might make me sound a bit screwy, but I can’t help thinking that there is a definite mismatch between how people currently feel about politics and the general election result. Saturday saw a huge anti-government protest in London: the anti-tory feeling was palpable in that crowd, yet just a few weeks ago they won a general election. Given that I doubt that feeling had arisen since the election, or that it was just the protesters who felt that way, I suspect something is amiss with the election result. Has any other government faced so fervent a protest so soon after they were elected? Of course, to say the election was rigged is to cross into cloud cuckoo land, and I’ve seen no evidence that it was, but it’s clear that vast numbers of people don’t want a Tory government, and are very angry indeed at what they are doing. If people are this angry already, just think of the protests to come

I only heard about the protest yesterday in the morning. At first I was in two minds about going, having had one or two bad experiences at protests before. But I told myself I can’t write all this anti-tory stuff on my blog and not follow through with it, so off I set. Fortunately for me, getting up to parliament square is easy – it’s just a few stops on the jubilee line – allowing me to decide such things at such short notice. Once I got there, I found the place thronging with people, including, it was great to see, a large contingent from Disabled People Against Cuts (DPAC). As I noted yesterday, there was a party atmosphere, with people milling about, singing, bands playing and so on. Yet one could also sense a seriousness to it; there was an undercurrent of anger in the air, a fury at the tories and their cuts. I spoke to a few people there, and found I’m definitely the only person who wants the Tories expelled from office immediately. Before long, there were speeches from politicians and celebrities, including a brilliant one by caroline lucas. We heard that, while the tories talk of austerity as a necessity, it’s not necessary at all: the tories have been lying to us as they impose their wholly ideological cuts, as an abusive parent lies to a child as he beats him, saying ”its for your own good.” I came home more angry than ever at what the tories are doing, but also relieved to have found that I’m not the only one who wants the tories booted from office. I’d worried hat we’d all just sigh and just tell ourselves to wait for the next election, like good Brits. Mind you, one must wonder what effect such protests have, and whether it’s just a lot of sound and fury which won’t change a thing.

I have taken myself to the anti austerity protest in Westminster. While I’ll probably write a full account of it tomorrow, I must say, sat here in parliament square, how amazed I am. A quarter of a million people are here apparently. There’s a friendly atmosphere: it’s almost like a party. Yet, beneath, one can sense the anger at CaMoron and his government. Anyway, better stop writing and investigate more.

Now that I can, with great joy, tick off watching the cat empire with charlotte from my to do list, my appetite for music and gigs has been whetted. I think now it’s time for me to look for more great gigs to go to; but now I’ve done so much big stuff, I’m in the mood for something smaller. Venues like the albert hall and o2 arena are awesome, but everyone knows about them: gigs there lack intimacy and personality. I’ll always find the fact that I’ve seen my fiancee play a paralympic closing ceremony, and watched monty python perform, very likely for the last time ever, sources of pride beyond words; but you can’t get much bigger than gigs like that. Having ticked them off, it’s time to go to the other end of the scale. This city is throbbing with small, live music events in the back rooms of pubs or in community halls where one can get a feel for the personalities of the performers and your fellow audience members – I think those are the kind Lyn prefers too. The only problem is, they’re a bit harder to find than the things I’ve been going to, so I better go out and get searching.

Part of me says I just wasted an entire afternoon, although given its my own fault for not checking before i set off, I can’t really complain. Last night on the London news I learned about a summer festival up in Hyde park and, still in a party mood from the weekend, thought I’d go look. I was sure they said it was free entry, and an afternoon like this is too nice to waste. There was definitely talk of free film screenings, which was especially alluring. I set off at about one, taking the tube then the bus. It looked great in the distance, but as I rolled up to the turnstyles I began to see signs about tickets. To cut a long story short it turned out it was £65 just to get in, so I simply turned and headed home – I just wanted a nice, pleasant walk somewhere fun rather than a full-on outing. Oh well; it seems there’s no such thing as a free festival, but at least I had a good walk.