I still keep fretting over weather the UK can still call itself an outward looking nation. Since we voted to leave the EU, part of me feels that we’ve turned our backs on the world, and shut ourselves off in favour of becoming an inward-looking little island. But we haven’t; we haven’t left the world. In June we voted to leave an organisation, one which has many flaws. Yesterday I flew into a rage when I heard a tory on the tv tell us ”we are still an outward-looking nation”, but I shouldn’t have: he was right. You don’t need to belong to the EU to be part of the world, and leaving it does not mean we are any more xenophobic, although I’m very worried about the recent rise in xenophobia. Thus I can still love my country; I can still feel proud of it’s culture and history, and what happened here in 2012. My error was to mentally collate internationalism – working together across borders – with belonging to this largely corrupt, flawed union. To quit an institution because it is flawed and to no longer participate in the world are two separate things. Being in the EU did not allow us to participate in the world. At least now we’re out of it we can start to work towards something better.

It often astonishes me how quickly the people who know how can get such videos made, but this one is definitely worth linking to. It’s a remix of the recent Clinton/trump debate. I didn’t see the debate save for highlights, but from what I hear, clinton won hands down. I think this video captures the absurdity of it well: the consumate, professional politician verses the absolute joke whom we can still barely believe is the actual republican candidate. I suppose videos like this are a natural reaction to such insane situations – what else can one do?

I’d just like to flag this article up. It’s by a black lady in america explaining to a white friend about ”white privilege”. She elaborates on how small, little racist incidents frequently occur but often go unrecorded and unnoticed. Barely conscious things many white people don’t realise happen, such as people not really believing that she went to Princeton – the actual Princeton – because she is black. She states that people are more prone to incredulity than when a white person answers in the same way. It’s a good point well made: white people don’t realise how extensive and deeply rooted white privilege is. To that I would add that it’s a similar story in the disability sphere. Able bodied people don’t seem to notice how privileged they are; a step is just a step to them, but to us it could be a massive hurdle. The world is geared towards able bodied people just as, as the writer of the article explains, it’s geared towards people with white skin (and for that matter males, straight people, gender conforming people etc etc). We should speak more about such biasses, and be more open about how the world is ‘built’ to accommodate certain types of people to the disadvantage of others. That is not to cast blame on certain people, but simply to expose and thus start to remedy the innate biasses of the world around us.

Had I not just had so much coffee, I’d probably be feeling rather tired by now. It has been an awesome afternoon. We continued our group Londoners film, and I got to do some filming, a camera mounted on my wheelchair. I think I got some really cool shots, but, perhaps more importantly, I felt part of a team. We have a really good Londoners film in the making, and what makes me even more proud is that it all came about after I suggested the venue of the cafe in the park. This afternoon, I had one of those – surprisingly frequent – moments when I stood proverbially back and thought ”Wow, how did my life get this awesome?”

This all came about after L suggested I go get help to stop drinking so much, as I’m afraid to say it was getting a bit out of hand. I went to Lifeline in Woolwich, who put me on Chocolate films’ 1000 Londoners project. Incredibly, it was precisely what I wanted and needed: a chance to make films and the help to do so. It is staggering how such things happen sometimes. Everything just falls in place, as if by magic. Not only have I now stopped drinking completely, but I’m involved in the making of not one but two films – the very artform and industry which, after finishing my masters, I wanted so badly to get into. Both films are well on their way to completion, and I can’t wait to put links to them on here.

Last night was rather cool. Every month or so, the Thai Restaurant around the corner runs a sort of music night. We hadn’t been in ages, but the other day Lyn and I were out and about and spotted it advertised, so we decided to go check it out. I was only expecting a little affair, but last night we got there to find the small place packed with people. The music was already in full swing.

We settled down at the front to listen. After a while, though, someone recognised Lyn, remembering her from last time, and asked her to play some tracks.

Unfortunately they didn’t have the right jack for her Ipad, so they made do with a microphone. Lyn put two of her songs on, playing along to them with thumbjam.

It was a great evening; it feels like ages since I had one like it. It felt very social; as if everyone knew everyone else. At one point, I helped out a singer by calling up the lyrics to ‘Summertime’ on my ipad. There was a friendly, warm atmosphere in the room, and I’m now really looking forward to the next one.

I’m suddenly quite cheerful. A few weeks ago, I noticed I could no longer press backspace to go to the previous webpage in google chrome. It was only a small change, but I had been using that little shortcut since Steve B showed it to me way back at Macc College, fifteen years ago. Like using arrow keys to scroll firefox, it was useful; it meant I didn’t have to bugger about with the mouse to go back. Their claim was that they had received complaints from people inadvertently going to previous web pages when writing text, but that whiffed of bullshit to me. I’d just reconciled myself to the fact of yet one more pointless change made by a huge company which makes my life just a tad harder, but, moaning to Lyn about it just now, she told me to look it up. I tapped it into google, and sure enough they had received so many complaints about it that they were forced to make a remedy. It is available here. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one fond of such little tricks.

Just as a bit of an admin-type entry, yesterday I added captions to the video of my recent cinephilia talk. You couldn’t really hear what I was saying on my Ipad. It took me a while to add them, but you can check out the subtitled video here. I just think it’s a great thing for me to have online: not only can I use it to show people what I’m capable of, but also where I’m coming from in terms of film theory.

Well, thank zark for that. I just learned from the bbc website that Jeremy Corbyn has won the Labour leadership election. I never really warmed to owen Smith; somehow he seemed like an imposter or intruder. I suppose I’m a firm Corbynite, and see him as the only genuine politician around. Maybe leftists like me will finally get a bit of a break now – we finally have a slither of good news. To be honest british politics is currently quite gruelling, to the extent that I try to avoid it altogether. Between the referrendum and tory pieces of shit trying to turn the clock back to the nineteenth century, it’s becoming too depressing to bear. Yet I know that to try to bury my head in the sand is folly: I cannot ignore it, as fucked up as it is and as angry as it makes me. At least we still have Corbyn, a genuine, honest guy who really cares about the underprivileged, fighting our corner.

I just watched last night’s program about brexit. I didn’t watch it last night because I knew it would make me angry, and perhaps it was a mistake for me to watch it this morning. I need to apologise to lyn for just making s much noise. I am still quite furious about what happened two months ago. I’d been trying to calm myself down over it, telling myself the EU was not perfect, and that perhaps this could lead to something better. But the voting public fell for the lies of the outists, and despite their fatuous pretences that the UK is still an open and outlooking nation, we have cut ourselves off from the world. To see p’tahks like Boris johnson claim to love europe and that we are still an outlooking nation really, really pisses me off.

The EU wasn’t perfect, but I believed in it. It wasn’t just a capitalist ploy about trade, nor an insidious plan to eventually bring about a monochromatic world state. I believed it was about working together; cherishing difference but cooperating for the good of all. To leave it was a step backwards; the reerection of borders devisions between humanity – which we had began to outgrow. As I wrote here, if it was about to embrace TTIP, as I have heard some otherwise left-leaning outists claim, why were neoliberals so eager to leave? The european union was about forging a set of common rules we could all live by; in leaving it, we have informed the world we no longer want to participate in the international community. And to cap it all, now we have wastes of oxygen like Farage beaming at us, eager to completely screw people who can’t defend themselves without hinderance from EU legislation.

The EU was something noble; it was about humanity seeing past the concept of state to cooperate. Regardless of the crap Boris et al spew, we have stepped back from that; stepped back from the world. That is not the type of country I want to live in, and the fact xenophobes like farage achieved it through lying to the nation makes me very angry indeed.

I came across this yesterday, and it struck my interest. Russian people apparently dislike the Daniel Craig incarnation of James Bond, saying it is ”too serious”; they prefer a more jovial, comic 007. That to me is rather telling: Russia at the moment seems to be trying to reinstate itself as a world power. It still seems to think of itself as a superstate, on a par, culturally and politically, with the US. They see the Bond franchise as threatening: the world’s greatest spy is not Russian, but British. It does not fit their narrative – bond is not one of them. To have him go back to being more of a comic figure, as he perhaps was in the Moore era, would be more in keeping with their worldview: they are the powerful, serious ones; other states are just pissing about. Thus you can read quite a bit into a statement like that: they want Bond defused, portrayed again as a joke. They want to be the ones to have the world’s greatest spy on their side, and they want everyone to laugh at other countries.

I think I’ll flag this up today. ”Proposals to introduce new legislation which would pardon gay men convicted under historical gross indecency laws will be brought forward ‘in due course’, the government has said.” While I am a bit wary of such retrospective legislating – imposing contemporary values on the past – I think this is somewhat overdue. The work done by Alan Turing and his colleagues not only helped end world war two, it also arguably lead to computers. I do not think history should record Turing as a criminal just because he loved men rather than women. He was a great man, a genius who deserves our gratitude and respect. Thus this is one of the (very) few things this government has done which has my support.

Even though the gig I was so looking forward to yesterday never materialised, it still turned out to be a pretty awesome day. I have recently been working with Chocolate Films on their 1000 Londoners project, meeting every Tuesday in Woolwich for group work. While my individual film is going ok, the group was still looking for a subject for our film. Lyn had been mooted, but since there is already a film about her – this one – I thought it best to go somewhere else. Then yesterday, I had a great idea: the guys at the cafe in the park would make ripe material for a Londoners film. I suggested it, showing the guys my blog entry about it, and we all got on the bus for charlton. Mind you, to be completely honest, my suggestion could have been influenced by the fact I was dying for a cappuccino, but hey ho.

I’m pleased to report that, once we got there, my colleagues were as enthusiastic as I was. It is a charming, very photogenic little place, full of books and the smell of coffee. They have Japanese staff there though, so there is also a strong oriental influence. The guys were very taken by it, and the owner of the cafe, Mike – an excellent chap who I have become quite fond of in recent weeks – seemed quite enthusiastic. Hopefully we’ll soon get rolling on a script and/or shooting plan; I really think this will make a great addition to the Londoners project.

I rolled home feeling quite pleased with myself. Between this, my own Londoners film and the film festival, it is turning out to be a very productive few weeks. I feel busier than ever. On the cards today, for example, is getting the dialogue I’ve written onto my Ipad. But I now know I can sort it; things like this make me more and more confident in what I’m capable of. And this is only the start: hopefully making these films will lead on to even bigger things. I can’t wait.

Lyn told me yesterday that we are going to see Kate Tempest tonight. Never having heard of her, apart from my usual optimism at the prospect of a night out, I didn’t know what to think. But having just seen this example of her linguistic incredibleness, I’m now suddenly really looking forward to it.

I can’t give the Rio Paralympic closing ceremony a proper review as I can’t find it online yet, but I just watched the highlights. Of course, for me personally, nothing could compare to actually being there four years ago, so perhaps I’m biassed. However, from what I just watched, the Rio ceremony was incredible. It was an extravaganza. While I unfortunately didn’t spot a Brazilian Paraorchestra, I especially liked the wheelchair dancing, and will certainly have to take a closer look at them. I wasn’t so sure about the inclusion of Calum Scott though. Whoever told that tuneless dude he could sing needs their ears examining. I thought the ‘taster’ from Tokyo was quite intriguing.

So, there we have it: another paralympic games is over. Much has been said about how London 2012 was a real game changer for the paralympics, bringing it up to the same level as the olympics in terms of esteem. I think Rio continued that; at least, I hope it did. Now it’s on to Tokyo, and judging by their submission last night, they seem eager to add to that trend. I’m looking forward to seeing what the Japanese do in four years’ time. As for 2024, my money is still on Paris, but that remains to be seen.

I have the great pleasure of reporting that the inaugural Charlton and Woolwich Free Film Festival came to an end last night a tremendous success. It has been an outstanding couple of weeks. The final event yesterday, a walking tour of the locations used in Antonioni’s Blow Up (1966) was fascinating. It was filmed in Maryon Park, just down the road from here – a park which I go through quite regularly on my way to Woolwich. Never having seen Blow Up, I’d never thought much about it; but yesterday morning, ahead of the event, I thought I’d give it a watch (in the process discovering how to ‘rent’ films on Youtube). I’m very glad I did: for one, that tour wouldn’t have made much sense had I never seen the film; but more importantly it’s quite a fascinating little text about photography. It’s about a fashion photographer who finds he has accidentally captured an image of a dead body in one of his photos. You can therefore read it in the context of the idea of Punctum. Moreover, the film also has a lot to say about urban life, capturing much of the area around Woolwich as it was fifty years ago. That’s what fascinated me: the way the run down, industrial, mostly victorian landscape contrasted with the green seclusion of the park. I even learned yesterday that there is an entire area of grass in that park, up some stairs, that I never knew existed.

After the Blow Up event, I came home to have a bite to eat, before heading to the White Swan for the film festival wrap party. I’m still not drinking, so I was in two minds about going, but I’m glad I did. I’ve made so many good friends on this process; Gavin, the guy running it, is one in a million. There was laughter, speeches, and hearty congratulations. The plan now is to let the dust settle for a couple of weeks before meeting to discuss what went wrong and what went right. We’ll then start to plan next year’s event. After the success of last saturday, I’m already trying to come up with ideas for what I could do. I have really, really enjoyed these past couple of weeks. I was thrilled to be able to participate as I did, and I can’t wait for more.

You may have noticed that I haven’t said anything on here about politics for a while. That was deliberate: I’ve been avoiding the issue. Politics in this country has become too fucked up for me to comment; I’m getting too angry about it. On the one hand, we have a government trying to reintroduce a draconian system of streamed education which reinforces class devision and dooms kids as second class citizens based on an essentially rigged test. On the other hand, we had to watch as a bunch of semi-nazi stains on humanity, calling itself a political party, congratulated itself for completely fucking this country by ‘winning’ the referendum. They only did so through lies. I wanted to hit every xenophobic piece of shit in that room as they grinned their brainless grins, and welcomed their new leader. Anyone capable of coherent, independent thought knows this country is fucked because of them! And meanwhile, where is Labour? Where are the voices pointing out the stupidity of it all, calling for a second referendum on the grounds that the first was won through lies? Nowhere! Nowhere to be seen. There is nobody currently standing up to these bullies and xenophobes. It gets me so angry that I start yelling at the tv whenever it comes on; so angry, in fact, that I better just avoid politics altogether.

Congratulations are in order today. It gives me great pleasure to announce the engagement of Alex Thomson to my friend Charlotte Jones. They have been courting for some time, and I have watched their relationship bloom over facebook. Back at uni, I always knew C would one day make some lucky guy very happy indeed. I wish them both all the happiness in the world. I will have to insist, though, that Lyn and I are invited to the wedding.

Last night saw my second public speaking engagement as part of the Charlton and Woolwich Free Film Festival. A few months ago, the guys I work with at school asked me to do the introductory address to their screening of Shorn the Sheep. It took me a while to get hold of a copy of the film, but eventually I penned it and delivered it last night. I think it went really well: it wasn’t a very long speech, but I think I made some quite salient points, noting the link between the contrast between urban and rural in the film to the work of Walter Benjamin, and also suggesting that that could be read as a metaphor for autism. Tracey and Kathryn, the teachers I work with at school, seemed really pleased. As with my talk on Saturday, hopefully a video will appear online soon. My second public talk went as well as the first, and I must admit, I’m now hooked.

A few days ago I tweeted the following question: ” The 5 biggest franchises: bond, lord of the rings, star trek, star wars and harry potter. Do any other film series come close culturally?” I genuinely thought those were the five biggest franchises. Yesterday, though, I was made aware of something even bigger, but which I hadn’t bothered to take a second glance at: Marvel. Growing up, I was never into comic books, preferring prose, film and tv; so I suppose characters like spiderman and superman didn’t capture my imagination in the same way as Frodo Baggins, James Bond and captain Picard did. Yet, glancing at the Wikipedia entry on it just now, the Marvel universe is colossal. As a single fiction, it spans characters and worlds; it comprises many different stories, all intertwined. Here at last might be the new fascination I’ve long been looking for. It seems ripe for exploration; I’m curious about what people see in this set of superheroes that I’d previously dismissed as ”for kids”. Not only is it a departure for me in terms of plots and characters, but the base material – comic books – is entirely unexplored terrain, an art form I’d never even considered. The question now is, where to start. Apart from having seen X-Men, I know almost nothing about this labyrinthine set of interwoven fictions.

Quite late last night, my brother Luke sent me a link to this video about music as it is used in the Marvel films. I thought I would flag it up here, not because I’m particularly interested in the marvel comic book franchise – although, given it’s now bigger than bond, star wars and harry potter, a closer look might be in order – but because this video constitutes the type of thorough close textual analysis I’m interested in. As I said in my reply to Luke just now, ”In terms of proper theory, not much has been written about music in film. Recently though, there have been quite a few bits of good analysis about it. It’s interesting to see how forms of analysis are emerging online which are no less engaged with film than more traditional forms.” New manifestations of filmic love are emerging online which, while taking the form of chatty, upbeat ‘fun’ videos, are no less intellectually rigorous than that undertaken in prose. Mind you, I have yet to see anyone in a video reference someone like Lacan or Bazin, but it’s still early days yet.

Starting to think again about the olympics, the other day I began to wonder when it would be next held in the uk. It occurred to me that, now that London has hosted it three times, this might be a good time to start the campaign to bring the Olympic Games to another British city. The world already knows about London, so how about trying to take the games up north somewhere? Being originally a Cheshire lad, I’d like to propose Manchester. Having failed in its bid for the 2000 games, now might be the time to begin to try again. As much as I love London, I think it’ll be cool to boost the north-west’s international profile. As for when, might aiming for the 2032 games give us a realistic target? The ’24 games are already being fought over; ’28 might be too soon after 2012. Thus I’d like to launch the campaign for Manchester 2032. The question is, how do I get this off the ground? Has anyone else had this idea? All such ideas presumably begin somewhere, even with cripples drinking coffee outside south London cafes, so who does one consult to take such embryonic notions further? How can I tell if this is realistic, and whether there is any appetite for it?

I needn’t have been so nervous yesterday; everything went (almost) without a hitch. I’m pleased to report that my talk at charlton house went down a treat. We got there nice and early, giving us time to set up and get ready properly. Then Gavin, the guy running Charlton and Woolwich Free Film Festival, introduced us to the not-too-small, not-too-big audience. First Lyn did a set, playing four or five of her songs, then it was my turn.

I’m pleased to report that my nerves vanished as I pressed the buttons on my Ipad, triggering the commentary for the slides gavin was projecting. My only concern was over whether everyone in the room could hear me, as I was using Lyn’s bluetooth speaker. Nonetheless, we got through the slides at a good pace, the only delay being when it came to switching between the slides and the clips I wanted to project. I had chosen not to go into too much theory – there’s a lot to explore around cinephiliac moments, but I didn’t want to get bogged down (although perhaps I should have mentioned [i]punctum[/i]). I think I balanced it well, for a mostly lay, non-academic audience though, and it was warmly received. On the way out, Gavin told me he would like to do it again, and I now think I would be up for that.

So there we have it: my first taste of public speaking. While it took quite a bit of preparation, and there one or two hitches, I found it an overwhelmingly positive experience. Paul recorded it, so you can watch my little talk here. Nonetheless, I have a feeling that this is just the first such talk I’ll be giving.

I can’t remember ever feeling this nervous. In a few hours time, I’m due to give a talk on Cinephiliac Moments in charlton house. It’s only a short talk, and I don’t go into much of the theory behind the concept, but already butterflies are fluttering around my stomach like nobody’s business. How many people will be there? How will it be received? What if something goes wrong with my ipad? This is my first ever such talk, and while I keep telling myself it’s nothing compared to what Lyn did four years ago, performing before the world, I’m still fretting. I’ll let you know how it goes on here tomorrow.

I’m currently rather miffed. I have a new Ipad and needed to get the sim card working, so yesterday L and I went up to the o2 shop at the dome to get it sorted. There they swapped the card and told me it would be working within an hour, so I went off and got on with other things. While up there, I thought I’d ask about the forthcoming greenday gig I’d heard mention of, and was told they would go on sale today. While I don’t rate them as high as, say, The Cat Empire, I think Greenday are pretty awesome, having come across them through my brother in my early teens.

This morning my sim still wasn’t working, so I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and go back up to the o2. Once there, I headed straight for the ticket booths: the internet had told me that tickets would go on sale at nine, and it was already gone eleven. However, there I was told the booths opened at midday, so I thought I’d just get my Ipad fixed while I waited.

The Ipad took ages though. There was lots of mucking about with sims and settings, but eventually it was sorted. By then, however, it was gone half twelve, so I rushed straight back to the ticket area, waiting patiently in the queue, only to then be told that they had already sold out. I looked at the lady in blank astonishment for two or three seconds, then turned and made for home.

What else could I have done? Perhaps I should have ordered the tickets online, like everyone else; but I prefer going up there, to make sure I get what I need. I was hoping for a repeat of my luck when I managed to get tickets to see monty python, although that was a bit of a fluke given they put on extra shows after the first one sold out. Nonetheless, I now feel rather hard done by. Who knew there were so many Greenday fans in the UK – or at least kids who think they are being ‘punk’ or whatever by professing to like greenday. Either way, I think the underlying problem is that there aren’t enough wheelchair spaces at venues like the o2.

I just caught up with the rio paralympic opening ceremony, having begun watching it last night before deciding to go to bed. As with their olympic opening ceremony, it struck me as remarkable. It both brought back memories of four years ago (especially when they struck up the paralympic anthem, a piece of music I’ll now forever link with the paraorchestra, charles hazlewood and puff the magic dragon) and seemed totally new and completely brazillian. While again there was no stand-out moment for me to fixate upon, there were one or two touches which raised my eyebrow.

The first were the boot-things they had those kids walking in. I’m not sure I liked the look of them at all. They basically strapped a child with fairly severe CP to their parent, allowing them to walk, kick balls etc. They didn’t look at all comfortable for either the child or the parent; in fact they looked very medical model, and rather ridiculous. Thinking back, I don’t think I’d have liked being strapped to mum or dad as a six year old.

The second moment, though, was rather more touching. As the paralympic flame was being carried to it’s destination, one of the disabled torchbearers fell. She looked unsteady on her feet, and used a stick. Two or three guys rushed to help her, and she was soon back up. As someone not unaccustomed to falling down, it struck me as a particularly endearing moment: The way she was straight back up walking on had me applauding at my computer screen. What a perfect metaphor for disability; what a beautiful accident.

I really hope rio has a great paralympics. The word is it should be equal to, or even better than, London. For my part, I won’t be able to help thinking back to 2012 that was such an awesome time for me. Yet I hope to see the Brazillians put their own mark on these games. As I said yesterday, it’s their turn to take centre stage. If, as I once wrote here, 2012 was about ‘us’, 2016 must be about not ‘them’ but their version of us.

Today for me has been about getting ready for saturday. The Charlton and Woolwich film festival is almost upon us, and I’m frantically trying to make sure everything’s in place for my little talk on cinephiliac moments (2pm, charlton house). However, I think I need to flag this news story up too: hundreds of disability rights campaigners have shut down Westminster Bridge today, protesting at the harm the tory’s cuts have done to disabled people. Part of me really regrets not going. Slowly but surely, we are being stripped of our rights, and even our means to live. Under any other circumstances, I’d have been there, but between preparations for saturday, school stuff and film writing, I thought I’d better stay home. Nonetheless, I’m itching to see what coverage – if any – it gets on the evening news. Tonight of all nights, this is surely a disability story the mainstream media cannot ignore.

Tonight’s the night things get going in Rio. Forget the Olympics, for people like me, the paralympics are the main event. Tonight, for once, disability takes centre stage. So often, disabled people are forgotten about: we are relegated to the back of the queue while the needs of others take precedence. The paralympics changes that focus. For once, the world’s attention is upon us, allowing not just disability sport but disability culture in general to take centre stage, not just where the paralympics is being held but globally too. Thus we have a great opportunity right now to say what ‘we’ want to say, show others what ‘we’ are capable of, and draw attention to the problems we face.

I’m really looking forward to tonight. I can’t wait to see what the Brazillians do for their paralympic opening ceremony. Frankly, I’m itching to see whether they have created their own paraorchestra, although given we saved ours for the closing ceremony, they might do the same. It’ll be great to see their take on disability culture, and how they present it to the world. This, for me then, is the one that counts.

Just a quick note to say that Lyn’s most recent track, Snappy Heart, will be played on Radio Caroline at about ten tonight. It’s a great track; please listen if you can. Caroline can be streamed here.

It may be a tad bleak, but I find this Disability news Service article pretty much spot on. It considers the paralympics and asks should we disabled people support it. It’s a good question: the government is depriving thousands of us of the means to live right now, but the paralympics gives them a tool to hide behind by. It will present people with disabilities as flourishing, when in fact right now many of us are finding things harder and harder. The government will say ”look at what these superhumans can do”, hoping the public forgets the fact that they are depriving many disabled sportspeople of the means by which they got where they are in the first place. Thus while the paralympics are a terrific celebration of disability sport, we cannot let them be used to obscure what the tories are doing to us at the moment.

I still have not found the new obsession I started my search for so long ago. As I wrote here three years ago, I need to shake myself away from things like Bond, Lord of the Rings and Star Trek, and try to get into something far more niche. The exciting thing about the internet, it seems to me, is that it is a breeding ground for creativity; artistically, the means of production no longer lie in the hands of big firms or the straight white male. It seems odd to me, then, that the narratives I’m most keen upon are still three of the biggest mainstream franchises. The thing is, no matter how hard I look online, I still haven’t found anything that gets me going like they do – no narratives or characters which capture my imagination in the same way. That makes me wonder what the difference is; what is it about these stories which has excited me since I was little? And why, with the plethora of new, niche creations now online, can’t I find anything to rival them?

I don’t feel much like writing anything lengthy on here today – it somehow isn’t that sort of day – so I’ll just direct you here, to Lyn’s last mix of the summer. She currently has it on in the living room, and it seems she has done it again: Lyn can produce the perfect blend of music, capturing a mood, calming one down, or just putting one in the right frame of mind on a saturday morning. She seems to have a knack of knowing what goes with what musically (although there are one or two interesting juxtapositions in this mix, too). Have a listen, chill out a bit, and enjoy.

I was in co-op this morning where I saw, on the billboard used to advertise local events, a poster for the Charlton and Woolwich Film festival. One of the events it listed was a talk by one Matt Goodsell, a local writer, about Cinephiliac Moments. I was thrilled to see that, although part of me got a little more scared.

On the whole, though, I’m excited; a week tomorrow I’ll be giving my first proper talk in front of an audience. The Free Film Festival movement is incredible: it’s about communities reclaiming the cinema, making film communal once more. Thus it constitutes a type of cinephilia. As it says here, ”The Free Film Festivals phenomenon started in Peckham and Nunhead, south-east London, in 2010. Founder Neil Johns, along with two friends, decided that monthly film clubs weren’t enough. They wanted to take films into schools, parks and housing associations, actively seeking out new audiences.” In a way this is an evangelical movement for the love of film; a love I share, and can’t wait to help spread next Saturday. I have a feeling it’s going to be quite a week.

I don’t usually believe in coincidences, but what happened yesterday was quite uncanny. For the last few days, I’ve been using my spare powerchair as the battery on my main chair was buggered. It’s a slow, awkward thing which I was fast developing a deep loathing for. You can’t turn easily in it, and it has no footplate. Lyn and I had gone to the park for a coffee, after which Lyn suggested we go for a walk. Ordinarily I would have been up for it, but my spare chair was becoming so tiresome I had to lift my feet off the ground due to the lack of footplate – that I got less than a hundred metres towards Blackheath when I decided to jack it in and head home.

I got back here feeling rather down about matters: a walk over to Greenwich park would have been lovely. The house was empty: we had left Dom here, but he had gone shopping. Forlornly, I settled down at my computer, checking the four or five sites one always checks when getting back to your machine. I hadn’t been here five minutes, though, when the doorbell rang. Wondering who it could be, I went to answer it. I was amazed to see Keith from Welling Mobility there, delivering my main chair, The Rotarran, back. I thought he was coming today, not yesterday. The weird thing is, had I not turned back precisely when I did, I would have completely missed him. It seemed that providence was smiling on me after all.

I thanked Keith eagerly. It might not be as fast as my old f55, but compared to my spare, that chair is the bee’s knees. I suddenly felt liberated; myself again. It’s funny how most people see wheelchairs as symbols of captivity, when for many people like myself they can be emblems of freedom. It is just incredible that I came home when I did, or I’d have missed Keith, he’ have taken my chair away again having found this place empty, and I would still be struggling.

I just watched a bit of live news on Iplayer. Apparently, from today they are cracking down on people without a tv license watching live tv on it, so I thought I’d give it a try. Of course, Lyn and I have a tv license, but I watch tv on my computer so often that I thought I had better check what I needed to do to watch it. All you need to do is click the button saying you have a tv license, and it lets you straight on. I was worried that it would ask for some kind of evidence. How silly: what is the point of a rule which you can so easily get around, and that there is no way of enforcing? While I firmly support the bbc and the principal of the license fee, I would have thought they would have tried a little harder.